Jeff (Coupling) on Having A Girlfriend: "Having a girlfriend is like legalised sex."
Jeff (Coupling) on The Arse: "When God made the arse, he didn't say, 'Hey, it's just your basic hinge, let's knock off early.' He said, 'Behold ye angels, I have created the arse. Throughout the ages to come, men and women shall grab hold of these, and shout my name.'"