Are you suggesting squirrels are the oligarchs of the animal world? Hoarding more than they need while other, more working-class, creatures are only one paycheck away from starvation?
They say eat the rich, but damnit are they chewy.
I too grew annoyed at their ravaging of the bird feeders. A kids Red Ryder, with it's very low velocity and round ammo, makes for a potent rodent ass slap if you can deal with the arc. Wouldn't stick though, within a few days they either forget or are hungry enough not to care, and return. I'm changing tactics. Instead of trying to drive them off, now I'm befriending them, training them to carry out my fiendish bidding. The dry corn and peanuts are having an effect. *diabolical laughter here*