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  1. So you're at a fast food place in a seedy part of town

    The only real answer is to Fap on the counter ...no sense letting your pre~greased hands go to waste.
  2. Awesome book titles that are not in print.

    "The Gentleman's Guide To The Golden Age Of Blowjobs" - George Carlin
  3. The most offensive statement ever

    Lots Of those: Eight to Eighty, Blind, Crippled or Crazy.. If she can't walk, Drag her... Old enough to Drive, Old enough To Be Driven...
  4. can balding remedies help me or is it a waste of time (pic)

    (1) shave it (2) sell the space for advertising (3) Profit
  5. What first world problem did you have today?

    Had to wait 10 minutes for my fish tacos...
  6. How do you shoot yourself in the chest while handcuffed behind your back?

    Of Course, it was a Suicide... Suicide By Cop
  7. Does the world deserve a nuclear WW3 as punishment?

    I'd just as soon skip the Nukes... A global plague is much more environmentally friendly.
  8. A Question About Blue Cheese

    The Blue spots turn Paisley :colbert:
  9. Charlton Heston was a fine human being but a lousy actor.

    Why wasn't "Ben Hur" called "Ben Him" Wait for it.... Wait For it...
  10. Is bigfoot at risk of contracting the ebola virus?

    Yeah.... ... But a Suppository that big?!?! [emoji43]
  11. Is bigfoot at risk of contracting the ebola virus?

    Heh - Ancient Aliens assert Bigfoot may actually be a space alien messenger tasked with collecting samples and keeping an eye on mankind...
  12. Is bigfoot at risk of contracting the ebola virus?

    Unpossibul - Bigfoot semen is the cure for Ebola.
  13. DC ban on gun carry rights - unconstitutional

    French, actually. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massacre_at_B%C3%A9ziers
  14. Serious Thread: We need a lifer forum.

    /shrug Don't care, save that we have enough little cliques already...
  15. Is it just me or "The Last Ship" is getting disturbingly similar to Star Trek

    Do the ones in the red outfits always die?
  16. Chinese shopping mall reserves pink parking spaces 30cms wider because women...

    The greater question is "If parking spaces were a foot wider, would douchebags *still* Park their 'BMAudicesBenz' across multiple spots?"
  17. Man Sends Wife Spreadsheet Of All Her Excuses Not To Have Sex

    Take a week out of the house and don't tell the wife. If she doesn't say anything, send your papers.
  18. Where is obama foreign policy?

    Why go through the trouble, when all they need to do is add long gestation biologicals to the mind control solution already being spread by jet aircraft contrails?
  19. Proof of alien life - would they tell us?

    Canada's former Minister of Defense - Paul Hellyer - already announced that UFO's are "as real as the airplanes flying overhead". But apparently, nobody cares what Canadians think... http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/06/05/paul-hellyer-aliens-ufos-video_n_3390295.html
  20. Poal, Pole, or Pole on a Pole

    Think about that next spring when you have to clean the yellow/green Plant Spooge off your car several times a week o_O
  21. How much are they really taking??

    You guys will REALLY enjoy this: Kid wrote an app that tracks how much money politicians are ma... errr... Taking. http://www.vice.com/read/greenhouse-app-hannah-ewens-nick-rubin-201?utm_source=vicefbus Cry Havoc, and Let Loose the Dogs!
  22. Poal, Pole, or Pole on a Pole

    Did you hear the one about the Polish spy who was sent to blow up a car?? ....burned his lips on the tailpipeo_O
  23. Poal, Pole, or Pole on a Pole

    :colbert::colbert::colbert:
  24. Poal, Pole, or Pole on a Pole

    ...since parody threads are the thing this morning.... POAL: Pole: Pole on a Pole:
  25. 'Meet the parent' introductory gift ideas

    Hmmm... Already Married... Yet have never met Dad... Though clearly, you have the means to go visit him.... Give him a Rail pass?? o_O :whiste::sneaky:
  26. "pome" or "poem"?

    pome be ignant
  27. These Twin Sisters were arrested for Prostitution on Backpage.com!! Are they Hot?

    Feet on one end of their legs... Vag on the other... Test Passed
  28. Marvel goes on a diversity spree: Thor turns woman, Captain America turns black

    /geek_hat_on Kill Captain America, and replace him with a new and improved Black/Hispanic version? No problem. Only right, and fitting with the back story since Capt was engineered. Time for Captain 2.0 Thor is a God, though, and supposedly Immortal. So you can't just kill him off...
  29. UPDATE: An Acquaintance of Mine Was Beaten Nearly to Death

    Canadian police watching too many videos of their US counterparts?
  30. village elders feed evil kids to crocodiles/hyenas

    Thank God they're not abortions
  31. What is the story behind this?

    Yes - the local news here are running that story.
  32. Hey guys and gals, I want to tell yall something,,

    'Bless Your Heart' Translation: "I would ordinarily say, 'You, Sir, are an idiot of the first order and proof the best part of your father dribbled down the crack of your momma's ass. Please go die in whatever manner you see fit', except I'm a good person, so I bless your heart instead...
  33. Hey guys and gals, I want to tell yall something,,

    ?!?!? Someone put the "wrong" kind of mushrooms on your steak sandwich this afternoon?
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