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[MacBaine]

You could always CallTheFBI

 

[ProviaFan]

Originally posted by: Dedpuhl

Originally posted by: Vic

Originally posted by: Dedpuhl
...are your parents Baptist or Pentecostal?

Dude, check your God hatred at the door, ok?

Chin, the best you can do is try to discuss these rules with your parents and see if they will work with you in some aspects. Expect to compromise and keep your emotions down. Behave like an adult and you can hope to be treated like an adult. Don't and you won't. If you really want freedom though, you're eventually going to have to move out, it's just the way the world works. Just for the record, I don't agree with all their rules though. I delivered pizzas when I was your age and still remember it as one of the funnest jobs I ever had (even if the pay sucked).

Dude, god hatred is irrelevant.

I'm asking because I have several friends that were stuck in the same situation. The only way it changed was by moving out...

I'm a 16 year old kid stuck with over-protective ultra-conservative Baptist parents.

1. They won't let me have my computers in my bedroom (yes, I did pay for my computers with my own money, so that's not the issues); I guess they're just worried that their little baby might come across some p0rn while googling one day.

2. Bedtimes aren't real strict, but unless I have some damn good reason to be up past midnight, they don't let me stay up that late. I do understand the reasoning behind that, because if I stay up until 2 or 3, I wake up later in the morning all tired and irritable.

3. My parents rarely have to nag me about who I'm talking to, etc., because I'm nerdy enough that I don't really have any real-life friends.

4. They encourage me to get experience in various kinds of work, to make (and save) money for college, a car, etc. Why chin's parents are so picky in this regard, I have no idea.

5. They are uber-strict about what music I listen to. Now please understand: I do (and always have) listened to my music primarily on headphones, and when I do listen to it with speakers, they are always kept at a reasonable volume. However, my mom and dad got terribly pissed off when they discovered a Boston MP3 on my computer (yes, Boston, the '70s and '80s era classic rock group). I just wonder what they'd do if they found a Metallica, Dream Theater, or Iron Maiden MP3 (fortunately NTFS security in Windows NT / 2000 / XP is not easily broken ).

Originally posted by: ddjkdg
As far as the parents go I'm going to venture a guess and say they're Asian, all the ridiculous rules seem to come with the territory there.

Please don't continue to use this stereotype. Asians may be bad about that, but you can find just as high (if not higher) of a percentage of ultra-conservative parents of various religious denominations who act similarly.

 

[toant103]

Originally posted by: chin311
Alright, so im 18 and still live at my parents home. Here's the problems I'm having, and yes, I think its quite ridicoulous given my age.

1. wont allow computer in room, but in the room right next to mine, and theres nothing in that room except my computer?? ---dumb
2. try and enforce some 12 am bedtime, (ie, TV must be off, off the phone, blah blah etc)
3. are all over my @$$ about everything i do, who i talk to, etc etc.
4. trying to tell me where I can work, etc. (because i was going to deliver pizza on the side for a little extra money)

lots of bs like this, when i try to talk to them about these things they say "you shouldnt have a problem, your an adult, be mature about it", which just pisses me off more, because if im an 'adult' why cant they treat me like one with these really LITTLE things???

so, my options are as follows:

1. talk to them about it, which i doubt will do ANY good.
2. move to NY with my dad (i live in FL)
3. try and find a roommate/cheap apartment, i can afford this, it'd just be cutting it closer than i'd like. don't know of any possible roommates, all my friends are either married or living at home for certain reasons.

WHAT TO DO??? It's driving me nuts, and seems to just get worse everyday..... this sucks.
:|

get away.. GO to college

 

[english101researcher]

You are 18, you shouldnt be living with your parents anyways.

 

[MikeBee]

I had a friend who's dad made his ass move out the day he turned 18....harping on him months before his 18th birthday (what an a-hole).
If I were you, I'd STFU and use the time to my advantage...
If they won't let you make money by delivering pizza or whatever silly jobs you can get, I'd get rid of your personal crap like cell phone, etc.
I'd show them that I could be responsible and accomplish something...
What parents want to see is that you can dedicate yourself to something a stick with it...commit yourself to something.
While you have all this free time, before you get your ass kicked by life by HAVING to find a job and support yourself full time, like having a family and doing your own laundry and shopping for your groceries and paying your bills and having to worry about keeping your electricity cost down...etc etc, list goes on and on....(there's a lot of things that your parents do for you that you probably take for granted).
I would recommend doing something constructive with your time...maybe you can start working out (it's free) and get yourself in great physical condition and show your parents that you can make something out of nothing...
If I were you, I wouldn't move up state with your dad, you're just running away from your problems and into another....where are you gonna go if it doesn't work out with your dad....back to your mom's place...it'll be shittier the second time around.
If you step back and take a look at your situation, you'll see that it's not that bad.

HERE ARE SOME POWER THOUGHTS
-TOUGHNESS DOESN'T COME IN A CAN, YOU CAN'T BUY IT AT THE STORE
-MIND OVER MATTER, IF YOU DON'T MIND IT, IT DOESN'T MATTER

Good luck dude
DON'T DO DRUGS

 

[mt3580]

Do this.

Disobey everything they say, ignore their wishes, and do what you want to do.
Either they'll give up on you after a while or they'll kick you out. Which ever way it goes you are living the way you want to no the way they want you to.

 

[codeyf]

While I can agree, their house, their rules, the part that cracks me up is this:

you shouldnt have a problem, your an adult, be mature about it

Yet they impose rules that I didn't have when I was 15!

Basically, saying "we're gonna impose these rule on you as if you were a kid, but we expect you to handle it like an adult"

wtf? typical parent contradiction there! I know I can't wait to pull that kind of shyt on my son!!

 

[MikeBee]

Originally posted by: mt3580
Do this.

Disobey everything they say, ignore their wishes, and do what you want to do.
Either they'll give up on you after a while or they'll kick you out. Which ever way it goes you are living the way you want to no the way they want you to.

What kind of a moron would give an 18 year this type of advice? You're probably just a kid...

Chin311, this is a very important time of your life...you are at a cross-road of making a major decision in your life...if you choose the wrong path, you will regret it for the rest of your life.
Don't start off your adulthood on the wrong foot.
Have patience, you have a lifetime to live and do things your way...maturity only comes with time.
Don't let people suck you up into their bullshit reality, like the quote above...
Don't take the easy way out of life...The more challenging path will have bigger rewards at the end.

 

[JonnyDuke]

As is typical with ATOT's... at least half of you didnt bother reading the entire thread but just checked out the first part and sent off a reply that was more useful to boost your post count.

I had a similar problem when I turned 18... tho I didnt have a computer or cell phone. I basically did what mt3580 suggested, and after a while we all came to a solution... I agreed to help out with some costs and they agreed to not hastle me anymore about where I was and with whom. Yes I owned my car and payed my own way for everything else, Once they got over me not being their "baby" anymore... things went fine for several years.

I wish I could believe that talking to them would help...like some suggest, but after that stuff about them going through your mail and cell bill... sorry, just think they went WAY overboard and overstepped their "parental rights"
It seems you have already made your decision... to go to NY. That is probably the best thing to do now unless you could find a friend to move in with. I wish you luck. Eventually you will be able to talk to them. It takes time though.

And to Oldsmoboat-
Wow... congratulations! You are a very fortunate man (obviously you know this) ... I envy you... I truly do, tho I have no children. I hope I do as well.

 

[MuffD]

I agree with alot of people here when they say you should move out if you don't like your parents rules. As long as you live there, you just have to deal with it until you can live on your own.

 

[AlienCraft]

Originally posted by: chin311
not in college, just finished a tech school course on 'computer electronics'.

moving in with my dad would be completely different, i would do it in a heartbeat, but im not sure about any jobs up there.

can't really afford to live on my own, if i did, i would have just enough to pay the bills.

you dont think some of these rules are ridicoulous?? given my age??

Giving you grief is Nature's way of getting you to move out. All young animals must leave the nest, brood, warren, whatever.
Put those "Computer Electronics" skills to work and join the rest of us..... Living from paycheck to paycheck.
Those rules are just rules, it's your reaction which is ridiculous. There will be rules when you move out, too.

 

[ucdnam]

If I were in your situation, I would consider moving out, going to college, getting a job to support moving out, etc.

At worse, you go to college, take some loans which you will pay back when you're done, and you'll be rid of the nagging parents.

 

[human2k]

Originally posted by: MacGaven
Do you live with your parents? Then STFU, it's their rules.

 

[placebo139]

Originally posted by: rudeguy
I dont mean to sound mean, but you are living under their roof, so live by their rules, move out, or deal with it

agreed. move out if you can't take it.

 

[Sid59]

it's only tough love to keep you on track...

 

[Jugernot]

Originally posted by: chin311
Alright, so im 18 and still live at my parents home. Here's the problems I'm having, and yes, I think its quite ridicoulous given my age.

1. wont allow computer in room, but in the room right next to mine, and theres nothing in that room except my computer?? ---dumb
2. try and enforce some 12 am bedtime, (ie, TV must be off, off the phone, blah blah etc)
3. are all over my @$$ about everything i do, who i talk to, etc etc.
4. trying to tell me where I can work, etc. (because i was going to deliver pizza on the side for a little extra money)

lots of bs like this, when i try to talk to them about these things they say "you shouldnt have a problem, your an adult, be mature about it", which just pisses me off more, because if im an 'adult' why cant they treat me like one with these really LITTLE things???

so, my options are as follows:

1. talk to them about it, which i doubt will do ANY good.
2. move to NY with my dad (i live in FL)
3. try and find a roommate/cheap apartment, i can afford this, it'd just be cutting it closer than i'd like. don't know of any possible roommates, all my friends are either married or living at home for certain reasons.

WHAT TO DO??? It's driving me nuts, and seems to just get worse everyday..... this sucks.
:|

Admittedly, I'd like to be supportive to you, but it's their house and as long as you live there you have to live under their rules. As retarded and childish as they are....

I'm in a similar sitution, but it's from pure choice ($$$$$). I live in the same building as my parents (I pay $500 a month rent), but luckily they aren't nearly as strict as yours seem to be. I am my own man and I go to sleep when I want, come home when I want, buy what I want....

Also, it helps that their house is a duplex, so I have my own kitchen, bathroom, two bedrooms, living room, laundry room, etc that is completely seperated from their part of the house (I'm on the bottom floor.)

My parents were sort of like yours at first when I moved back in, but persistance on my part slowly changed them. I told them, that I appreciate their letting me live at home, but I am a man and will do what I want when I want. If they don't like it, I won't live there. It was hard for them to let go at first, but eventually they did and they stopped leaving notes on my door asking where I had been the night before, etc.

Anyway, like I said, I'd really like to be supportive of you, but it's their house. Move out if you can't change their minds and you can't live under their rules.

 

[TrueBlueLS]

Originally posted by: chin311
w0e, didnt think this would get read again.

well, parents went psycho las weekend, got my phone bill, so i was like whatever, im going to NY. they are trying to talk me out of it, but, still plan on going.

Your parents went nuts over your phone bill? Maybe that could be an idea where you would suggest to pay for it with a job you got. I think you jumped the boat a little too quickly telling them you were going to New York. You do not want to burn your bridges if things in New York don't work out with your dad. Seriously, I know you don't think it would help matters much, but sit down and talk with your parents about their rules. What's the worst that could happen if you're able to present in a positive manner that you would like to have some rules changed being that you are 18 and a responsible adult? Talk with them and let us know what they have to say.

 

[AmerDoux]

Originally posted by: chin311
w0e, didnt think this would get read again.

well, parents went psycho las weekend, got my phone bill, so i was like whatever, im going to NY. they are trying to talk me out of it, but, still plan on going.

You need a hefty dose of reality and I'm sure your parents could use the break.
Go.

 

[ProviaFan]

Originally posted by: AmerDoux

Originally posted by: chin311
w0e, didnt think this would get read again.

well, parents went psycho las weekend, got my phone bill, so i was like whatever, im going to NY. they are trying to talk me out of it, but, still plan on going.

You need a hefty dose of reality and I'm sure your parents could use the break.
Go.

I still don't see why he's wrong to expect them not to, or why they're right to attempt to secretly get ahold of his cell phone bill and spy on it, when he pays the bill, and it's his phone.

Parents are right more times than most teenagers give them credit for, but that doesn't make them right all of the time. :frown: