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[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: Yossarian
I would have left out the part about the altar boy. I find it strange that the first thing in your list of stuff the child would never be able to do is play a video game.

I mentioned movies first The altar boy thing was to grab the reader's attention and set a tone for the paper...

 

[MacBaine]

Kids in my class were either crying or pissed

Sure you were reading a paper, or were you showing one of your movies?

 

[Murphy Durphy]

I think its a great paper and an "A" in my book.

 

[crawford]

Good read.

 

[Toasthead]

this is obviously fiction. He claims that the baby had on a white cap, but then he left mark while running his fingers though his hair? I doubt someone who was soo perturbed about the whole passing the baby around thing would have actually gone through with removing the cap.


Anyways, your logic about God is flawed.

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: Toasthead
this is obviously fiction. He claims that the baby had on a white cap, but then he left mark while running his fingers though his hair?

Anyways, your logic about God is flawed.

it's not fiction dude.. I slid the cap up because my sister asked me to feel his hair.. If it was fiction i'd pose it as fiction.. what is fictitious is the line the priest "said" but i put it in italics and mention that he didnt' really say that.. everything else is what happened...

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

Just mail them this.

 

[sciencewhiz]

you could have made your point about God a lot better if you didn't spend so much time with your offbeat humor. However, if your were trying to offend people, you did a good job.

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: sciencewhiz
you could have made your point about God a lot better if you didn't spend so much time with your offbeat humor. However, if your were trying to offend people, you did a good job.

well, i react to stressful/ sad situations with humor.. It's my writing style.

 

[BillGates]

I liked it.

 

[nakedfrog]

Somewhat puts me into mind of the fictional series of "God" books in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. But only somewhat.
Neither offended nor angry. A bit amused here and there.
I think if someone is offended by it, they need to take a second look at reality.

 

[GasX]

Originally posted by: DrNoobie
That's a part of life. Some people are lucky, some aren't. It happens. I don't see how that paper is offensive.

I am guessing it the inflammatory and unnecessary catholic priest comment in the first paragraph. After that, it is your basic telling of personal experiences and their effect on the writer...

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: Mwilding

Originally posted by: DrNoobie
That's a part of life. Some people are lucky, some aren't. It happens. I don't see how that paper is offensive.

I am guessing it the inflammatory and unnecessary catholic priest comment in the first paragraph. After that, it is your basic telling of personal experiences and their effect on the writer...

It was necessary because it was inflammatory The assignment was to write about a religious experience so I wanted to quickly let the audience (reader) know of my approach..i mention babies and corrupt priest quickly so, yeah, it was on purpose..

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: skarydrunkguy
yawn.

The pretentious soldiers of academe no doubt rallied to thier sides, the world marches on.

 

[GasX]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: Mwilding

Originally posted by: DrNoobie
That's a part of life. Some people are lucky, some aren't. It happens. I don't see how that paper is offensive.

I am guessing it the inflammatory and unnecessary catholic priest comment in the first paragraph. After that, it is your basic telling of personal experiences and their effect on the writer...

It was necessary because it was inflammatory The assignment was to write about a religious experience so I wanted to quickly let the audience (reader) know of my approach..i mention babies and corrupt priest quickly so, yeah, it was on purpose..

It didn't match the content or tone of the rest of the piece and so I question its usefulness. Nevertheless, it got a whopping great laugh out of me. It was quite the non-sequitor!

 

[oboeguy]

The altar boy thing is a cheap joke used to get attention to an otherwise unremarkable paper. There was no connection to the rest of the paper. Anway, B- from me. Yawn.

 

[SaltBoy]

I stopped at the F-word. You read this aloud? Are you in Pre-school? :disgust:

 

[Radiation]

oboeguy's assesment is perfect.

 

[RossMAN]

Originally posted by: MacBaine

Kids in my class were either crying or pissed

Sure you were reading a paper, or were you showing one of your movies?

Damn you, now I gotta wipe off the water off my monitor.

NEXT TIME POST A FREAKIN' WARNING!

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: SaltBoy
I stopped at the F-word. You read this aloud? Are you in Pre-school? :disgust:

Have you ever read a novel? Many writers who are out of preschool use the "f-word."

 

[GasX]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: SaltBoy
I stopped at the F-word. You read this aloud? Are you in Pre-school? :disgust:

Have you ever read a novel? Many writers who are out of preschool use the "f-word."

Yeah, but your execution was immature and unnecessary...

 

[cressida]

everyone has their views... but this thread will be flooded soon I think

 

[Radiation]

If it doesn't add to the paper, then it is fluff and not needed. You should have learned that in your freshman comp class.

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: Mwilding

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: SaltBoy
I stopped at the F-word. You read this aloud? Are you in Pre-school? :disgust:

Have you ever read a novel? Many writers who are out of preschool use the "f-word."

Yeah, but your execution was immature and unnecessary...

Unnecesary to you... I'm allowed to have my own sense of humor, right? There's no one guide to writing - there's no one set of rules...

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: Radiation
If it doesn't add to the paper, then it is fluff and not needed. You should have learned that in your freshman comp class.

This isn't a term paper or a formal essay at all... Jeesh, some of you guys are so by the book! It's fine that you didn't enjoy it, everyone is allowed to have their opinion.. But telling me "rules" on how to write is just silly..