Originally posted by: Accipiter22
This is from a few months ago, but I never posted about:
My friend Charles and his girlfriend Jackie were over my apartment. Jackie was trying to get me to hang out with her best friend Christina. I didn't really want to, as I wasn't attracted to Christina, but whatever. So me, chuck, and jackie are watching a Patriots game at my apartment, and Christina drops by....I'm layin in my recliner trying to watch the Pats game...and Christina decides to jump in the recliner with me...and after a few minutes decides to start trying to kiss me and slobber all over my face. I can not emphasize enough how bad her breath/saliva was. I'm talkin parmesan cheese mixed with socks, mixed with rotting pork. I think my reaction after she kissed me was 'son of a bitch..do you want an apple or something?' She missed what I was implying....
So anyway the game ends and I go into my office to talk to someone online about some business, when she barges in and straddles me while I'm trying to type to my friend. She starts trying to kiss me again, but I plant a forearm in her throat to push her back. She can't take a hint as she keeps trying to kiss me. It must've been hard for her to breathe, as I was NOT letting up with the forearm to the throat and she kept trying to reach my face for a kiss.
So at that point I make up an excuse to get rid of everyone in my apartment. But what I CAN'T get rid of is the stench of this girl's saliva from my face. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, I gargled peroxide, and nothing worked. As a last resort I literally rinsed my mouth out with rubbing alcohol. That worked.
A couple days later the girl starts messaging me on myspace with quotes such as "Wow..our make-out session the other night was real hot wasn't it?". Now I have NO intention of seeing this girl again, but Jackie feeds me a sob story about how her boyfriend just dumped her and she just wants to hang out with someone. I relent and tell her she can come over ONCE. Jackie says 'she likes scents, wear cologne'. I tell her 'Well I hope Christina likes the smell of schnapps"
So the girl shows up, brings over a DVD and we go to watch it. I lay on my couch...and she lays on top of me on the couch. She looks me in the eyes and says 'so..how long have you been thinking about kissing me? A week? Days?". I stare at her blankly and she says "so you haven't been thinking of kissing me?" and proceeds to try and kiss me again. As soon as her stink-maw gets near my face again I smell that same familiar stench and plant my forearm in her throat again. I grit out the movie without letting her plant one on me. After the movie I proceed to make up an excuse of having to study and get up early the next morning and having to go to bed early (it was like 7:00 PM). Happy ending right? Well apparently the girl went and told all her friends that we actually hooked up (WE DID NOT)...and that I slathered her nipples with my tongue for like an hour or some b.s. like that.
Ugh.