Are kids these days seriously overworked?

[nOOky]

My wife's niece graduated from college 3 years ago. She wanted to take a year off after school to "live her best life" before going into years of the daily grind. She ended up getting her masters in England (which we paid for) but has gone 9 months without a job yet. When we ask, even gently, she gets all pissy with us and stops talking.

My nephew graduated high school last week and is taking a year off before probably going to a trade school. I can only offer so much advice, because I did a similar thing, I went into the national guard out of high school before college for the GI bill. I told him I would keep rolling and get his training out of the way asap if it were me, because a pause in your momentum seems to really affect people differently at times. He did work part time after school and on weekends so he could buy a car and have a phone etc., so it's not like he is lazy.

So the question I have is, since we don't have kids ourselves, is how tough do kids have it these days? It seems to me that we place a lot of pressure on them to do sports and activities and extracurricular stuff just to have a shot at a normal life. Is the current generation really lazy, or just burned out? I know a lot of kids do fine with it all, but. Anyway, just musing over my morning coffee.

 

[sdifox]

They are soft, but then they look at their future and it is truly bleak.

 

[nOOky]

They are soft, but then they look at their future and it is truly bleak.

But there are going to be so many great jobs picking lettuce and in manufacturing that the future is extremely bright.

 

[Greenman]

My kids had a simple choice, go to work or go to school. What the hell are they going to do for a year without support or an income?

 

[Greenman]

They are soft, but then they look at their future and it is truly bleak.

Perception is such an odd thing, I look around and see nothing but opportunity.

 

[biostud]

As a father of four and working 17+ years with education of teenagers, I have few ideas of what can be done to give the next generation a better life than the one before, because ultimately that has to be the goal?

As a parent my goal is to let my children know and feel that my love for them is unconditional, that they grow up with a high degree of self worth, that they should be kind towards others and that they grow up to be functional adults. So I believe myself to be kind and loving, but also firm and teach them right and wrong and set boundaries for them.

If you can do that as a parent, most will probably turn out OK.

Then there is what kind of society you live in, and to be perfectly honest I'm very happy living in Denmark as I do believe it holds many of the key components for living a life with few worries.

 

[sdifox]

Perception is such an odd thing, I look around and see nothing but opportunity.

huh? You look at the starting income, then look at housing prices and you think they are on the same circumstances you faced when you were their age?

 

[Greenman]

huh? You look at the starting income, then look at housing prices and you think they are on the same circumstances you faced when you were their age?

Doesn't that all depend on where you look and what your income is? I'm actually thinking about hanging out my handyman shingle. There is work a plenty and an astonishing number of people that flat out refuse to lift heavy things, and think plumbing and electrical are magic.

 

[William Gaatjes]

i think it has to do with being glued to the telephone, all those notifications that must be responded to. Too much "I have to respond to this" , "feed" , "message", "video", "Fill it in yourself".
Let it all go. Smartphone as a dictator is not what people should want.

As another example :
Natural language computer systems can come in handy but only when you need them. When these system constantly go advertizing to get your attention (Like ads advertisement). Stress (cortisol) levels will rise.

 

[WelshBloke]

Doesn't that all depend on where you look and what your income is?

It does but no matter where you look prices will have massively outrun wages.

Average Sales Price of Houses Sold for the United States

Graph and download economic data for Average Sales Price of Houses Sold for the United States (ASPUS) from Q1 1963 to Q1 2025 about sales, housing, and USA.

fred.stlouisfed.org

 

[biostud]

i think it has to do with being glued to the telephone, all those notifications that must be responded to. Too much "I have to respond to this" , "feed" , "message", "video", "Fill it in yourself".
Let it all go. Smartphone as a dictator is not what people should want.

As another example :
Natural language computer systems can come in handy but only when you need them. When these system constantly go advertizing to get your attention (Like ads advertisement). Stress (cortisol) levels will rise.

It is part of it. If you train your brain to get instant gratification from a young age your ability to focus and self regulate goes out the window. Hence the reason to have kids stay away from phones as long as possible, and keep them away from any kind of apps that keeps them hooked with gratifications.

 

[Lost_in_the_HTTP]

It does but no matter where you look prices will have massively outrun wages.

Late 70s, early 80s, I bought my first house for $13,000 with an income of not much more than that. Interest was well over 10% (maybe 13 or so) and the payments were around $350/mo as I recall.

I jumped all over a Refi at 9-something.

 

[William Gaatjes]

It is part of it. If you train your brain to get instant gratification from a young age your ability to focus and self regulate goes out the window. Hence the reason to have kids stay away from phones as long as possible, and keep them away from any kind of apps that keeps them hooked with gratifications.

I read somewhere long ago that when tought to be able to do delayed gratification, the neurotransmitters that makes a person happy increase in number or at least the receptors increase when the gratification starts, new neuron connections are made as well. All by being able to delay the gratification based on priorities , makes a person stronger in will power and focus.
Priorities are usually the big picture here. Money, choirs, promises. Lower cortisol levels as well.

 

[sdifox]

Doesn't that all depend on where you look and what your income is? I'm actually thinking about hanging out my handyman shingle. There is work a plenty and an astonishing number of people that flat out refuse to lift heavy things, and think plumbing and electrical are magic.

I bought my first house in 2003 for 277k. It was 4 times my gross income. Same house is now 6 times my current income.

 

[Chaotic42]

Being in my early 40s, I think I got in near the end of the "go to college and you'll be fine" era. I think the path now is to go into the trades out of high school or community college, get some real world experience under your belt, and decide if going to college is for you when you're say 25. Don't stop learning, just understand the concept of supply and demand at an early age.

 

[biostud]

To me, it is very important to support children in playing with other children as it both supports their imagination and their social skills which is far more important than any academic or physical skill IMHO.

 

[biostud]

I read somewhere long ago that when tought to be able to do delayed gratification, the neurotransmitters that makes a person happy increase in number or at least the receptors increase when the gratification starts, new neuron connections are made as well. All by being able to delay the gratification based on priorities , makes a person stronger in will power and focus.
Priorities are usually the big picture here. Money, choirs, promises. Lower cortisol levels as well.

My experience working with teenagers for 17 years is that the concentration level and ability to focus and analyze complex situations is worse than before. Sure chatGPT can help them and find answers, but their ability to understand the underlying situation has worsened overall. Sure those who come from strong academic backgrounds still do really well, but those who have had to much "free" time with their phones suffer.

 

[biostud]

huh? You look at the starting income, then look at housing prices and you think they are on the same circumstances you faced when you were their age?

When my parents bought their house, they could only get 20 years mortgage today 30 is the norm as you live longer etc. So you have to consider the monthly payment rather than the total sum you have to pay.

 

[sdifox]

When my parents bought their house, they could only get 20 years mortgage today 30 is the norm as you live longer etc. So you have to consider the monthly payment rather than the total sum you have to pay.

I am just comparing the income/housing price ratio.

 

[biostud]

I am just comparing the income/housing price ratio.

Exactly, but over generations it can be misleading in the regard, that it's what you pay monthly that is the typical way to compare budgets.

So if last generation used 30% of their income every month for paying their mortgage for 20 years and current generation use 30% of their income but over 30 years, they are total going to pay more, but each month for the first 20 years it will feel the same.

 

[Greenman]

I am just comparing the income/housing price ratio.

But it all depends on where you want to live. If you want to live in an extremely desirable area you'll pay a premium price. Some folks are even willing to make an area less desirable to reduce housing prices.

 

[NutBucket]

My kids are too young to be burned out (grade school) but I hear comments from friends who have kids in HS that they do all these different activities. I mean it sounds like by choice...hard to say.
The competitiveness to get into college has definitely increased since I was in that situation. My viewpoint is a bit skewed being a hiring manager in a technical field but there's no shortage of motivated kids out there.

 

[NutBucket]

But it all depends on where you want to live. If you want to live in an extremely desirable area you'll pay a premium price. Some folks are even willing to make an area less desirable to reduce housing prices.

It depends a lot on what you want to do career wise.

 

[Greenman]

It depends a lot on what you want to do career wise.

That to.

 

[sdifox]

Exactly, but over generations it can be misleading in the regard, that it's what you pay monthly that is the typical way to compare budgets.

So if last generation used 30% of their income every month for paying their mortgage for 20 years and current generation use 30% of their income but over 30 years, they are total going to pay more, but each month for the first 20 years it will feel the same.

Huh? If a generation can buy a house with 20 year amortization but the next one can only do it with 30 year amortization, which do you think is better off?