calling grammar nazis!

[NikPreviousAcct]

Originally posted by: frodrick

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: frodrick

Originally posted by: Mwilding
1. "Almost all" and "about half" are contradictory
2. Removing ", totaling about half of the commercials," would almost fix it
3. Check your use of the word "posed". I am sure there is a better one.

Almost all of is referring to the "without FDA input" subset of commercials. That subset is about half of the complete set of all commercials.

This is what you need to clarify. Break them apart and give the reader a second to digest each group by splitting it up into two sentances. Then give the reader something to correlate the two. You should be able to do both in two sentances.

I agree that the OP needs to make this a lot clearer. I was just trying to show that "almost all" and "about half" weren't modifying the same object. This is assuming he is actually constructing this sentence and not just checking a set of sentences for fragments in an exercise to teach grammar

If he has to ask at all, I really hope it's the latter possibility and not the former :laugh:

 

[Nithin]

Originally posted by: SynthDude2001

Originally posted by: CubicZirconia
No.

 

[jagec]

Originally posted by: Nik
It's not a fragment, but the structure is ass backwards. The actual content is "About half of the commercials posed problems" which leaves "almost all of the commercials without FDA input" as additional information that needs to be either inserted somewhere or a second thought entirely. My suggestions would be the following:

"About half of the commercials posed problems. Almost all of those were without FDA input."

or

"Of the about half of the commercials that posed problems, almost all of them were without FDA input."

I would strongly suggest breaking these apart into two totally separate thoughts.

I'd say you have it backwards. The important information is that "Almost all of the commercials without FDA input posed problems", the fact that these composed about 50% of the commercials is just supplemental.

So
"Almost all of the commercials without FDA input (composing half of all commercials) posed problems" might work.

 

[villageidiot111]

It is a stupid sentence, but not a fragment.

 

[Dameon2004]

Almost all of the commercials made without FDA input, around half of all commercials made, posed problems.