The Chicago Cubs announced today a major off-season hiring which it hopes will finally bring the Cubs to the World Series. Today, Lou Pinella announced the Cubbies have hired David Eddy, a computer programmer, for its front offices.
Said Lou Pinella "This may be the most signifant hiring we've made during these winter talks, except of course, my hiring."
For those unaware, David Eddy is the programmer largely credited with coining the term Y2K and raising awareness of that problem.
Upon his signing, David Eddy will don uniform number "00". Explained David Eddy, "See, a lot of people didn't think the Y2K was real, but it sure was. Now, with the cubs entering their 99th year without winning a World Series, they face the same problem - as does many Chicago institutions. All those bars and websites and paper calenders that have been dutifully listing 97, 98 and 99 years' since a win will simply implode after next year if we don't win! I mean, the whole Lakeview Baseball Club with their Eamus Catuli counter will explode, taking the whole of right field with it."
Thus, Lou Pinella explained "We count on Mr. Eddy to break the cycle before that calendar rolls over from 99 to 00, which has never, ever happened before in Baseball history!"
In an interesting note, the entire Christian Coalition has chipped in to pay for Mr. Eddy's salary.
As Pat Robertson noted, "This is important to us, since as we all know, if the Cubs should acutally win, He11 will freeze over and Satan will be banished from this earth forever."
Curt J.
Said Lou Pinella "This may be the most signifant hiring we've made during these winter talks, except of course, my hiring."
For those unaware, David Eddy is the programmer largely credited with coining the term Y2K and raising awareness of that problem.
Upon his signing, David Eddy will don uniform number "00". Explained David Eddy, "See, a lot of people didn't think the Y2K was real, but it sure was. Now, with the cubs entering their 99th year without winning a World Series, they face the same problem - as does many Chicago institutions. All those bars and websites and paper calenders that have been dutifully listing 97, 98 and 99 years' since a win will simply implode after next year if we don't win! I mean, the whole Lakeview Baseball Club with their Eamus Catuli counter will explode, taking the whole of right field with it."
Thus, Lou Pinella explained "We count on Mr. Eddy to break the cycle before that calendar rolls over from 99 to 00, which has never, ever happened before in Baseball history!"
In an interesting note, the entire Christian Coalition has chipped in to pay for Mr. Eddy's salary.
As Pat Robertson noted, "This is important to us, since as we all know, if the Cubs should acutally win, He11 will freeze over and Satan will be banished from this earth forever."
Curt J.