A long post, but worth the read if you're interested in the subject and want to contribute. I'd like to hear other people's opinions and experiences.
Do you believe in the existence of soulmates? There are a number of different soulmate theories. So to clarify the question, you must first decide which theory you believe in. The common theories are explained below, in generalized terms.
New Age Meaning of Soulmates
Believers of new age religions are those that believe in astrology, reincarnation, magic, karma, or witchcraft. There is usually one twin flame soulmate for each of us. Twin flame soulmates have spent multiple lifetimes together in past lives. There is incredible chemistry and attraction towards each other. They "complete" each other and only few lucky people are able to find their twin flame soulmate. Twin flame soulmates, if separated, usually suffer enormous pain.
Modern Soulmate Theory
It has nothing to do with reincarnation, astrology, or magic. Soulmates are not destined to be with each other. You may have one soulmate or a few soulmates for you. You may find your soulmates or you may not. Circumstances or your own free will may influence you to choose the wrong person. You may have one or millions of soulmates depending on how different you are from the population mean. Statistically, there is at least one person in this world that will bring you true love, a love that will last a lifetime.
Work-It-Out Theory
These people do not believe in soulmates. They believe a person can be happy with whoever they choose to be with, provided there is mutual attraction and commonalities which bring them together. People are not expected to be a perfect fit and love is built over time. Effort is the most important factor.
I believe in the modern soulmate theory, since there is no proof that there is anything cosmic or supernatural about it. However, I only use the term ?soulmate? for the lack of a better word and for being easily understood. Another term ought to be invented since there is no proof that we even have souls.
I cannot accept the work-it-out theory as I don?t believe a PS2 adapter will work with a USB port no matter how much they are attracted to each other or believe they have much in common. It is true that love is built over time and effort is a major factor, but these things are not enough.
My experiences compel me to believe in soulmates, but not just in one soulmate because, statistically, what are the chances of meeting that one person? I believe there are several potential-soulmates and these are individuals who resonate with each other in such a way that it goes beyond attraction and mere commonalities. I say potential-soulmates because they do fit together perfectly, as if completing each other, but it is only through time and growth in the relationship that they become proven-soulmates.
I believe I?ve encountered three of my potential-soulmates in life thus far. Each encounter began the same way. We admired each other from afar before speaking. Circumstance carried us apart just as quickly as they brought us together before we had the chance to even consider the possibility of a relationship. This usually happened more than once and it seemed highly unlikely that we?d ever meet again. But, as if by the determination of fate, we did meet again and were given yet another opportunity to become friends.
The first encounter lasted a little over three years but ended tragically because she betrayed our trust and became pregnant from another man while we were still dating. After twelve years of hindsight, I?m tempted to say that we were never really soulmates because I can now see so many glaring incompatibilities. Yet I still believe we were potential-soulmates, but burdened by under-developed personalities (we were young) and by the fact that she was, unfortunately, a rather selfish individual who never fully committed herself to the relationship. Since then, she?s developed a reputation for failed marriages, which may confirm my assessment.
My second encounter with a potential-soulmate began much like the first, but had a much happier outcome. We have been married almost ten years and each new day strengthens our status as proven-soulmates. When we first met there were people and circumstances that seemed determined to keep us apart. Now we?ve shared nearly a decade of trials and troubles, yet our love continues to grow. We are both fully committed to the relationship and to personal growth for the betterment of the marriage. There have been weak moments where the bond seemed vulnerable to opposing forces, yet we stayed together and rode them out. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have found a soulmate to share the rest of my life with.
My third encounter with a potential-soulmate is what prompted me to consider this issue of soulmate theories. I met her nearly five years ago while I was already married to my other soulmate. It began just as the other two. I felt a deep, compelling attraction but only admired her from afar. But this time I purposefully dismissed the attraction and made no conscious effort to pursue her since I was already married. Soon, and to my relief, circumstances removed her from my life. Eventually, however, we met again and for a while I intentionally avoided her. But avoidance proved to be futile as I found myself more and more thrust into her presence. Finally, and very cautiously, I decided to stop resisting, but only for investigative purposes, as I was now curious as to what was happening and how things would play out.
A friendship developed that lasted over a course of several months before circumstances again removed us. I?ve never seen or heard from her since, but occasionally, she will come to mind and I cannot help but feel acutely aware that we were indeed potential-soulmates that could have developed beyond the platonic relationship we briefly shared had I not already committed myself to another soulmate.
These experiences form the basis of my belief in ?soulmates.? And that third encounter is what leads me to believe that there is more than one potential-soulmate for each individual. I was already happily married to my soulmate when I met the third. I was not looking for her, nor did I have a desire to terminate the relationship with the one to pursue the other. I was not guided by lust or the excitement of infidelity and nothing occurred to which I should be ashamed of or could not share with my wife. I was simply guided by my own curiosity and the distinct nature of attraction that insisted upon not being ignored. It was entirely an act of will and self-control that kept it from growing further.
To some, perhaps, none of this will make sense. It is difficult to describe something like this because much of it is abstract, intangible, and largely intuitive. Perhaps my belief in soulmates could be summarized in the following analogy.
You are a lock in need of a key that will fit into the chamber to turn the locking mechanism. There is no single master key. Several keys were manufactured to go with the lock and all will work the lock equally well. Dating is the process of trying several keys until you?ve located one that works. Some will not fit at all and so you discard them. Others will fit but won?t turn the locking mechanism. Many marriages fail because they settled for a key that fit before finding one that fits and turns the lock. Trusting in the work-it-out theory, they believe they can be happy with this key because, in their minds, it?s impossible to find a perfect fit. They think that through the process of time and concerted effort love will survive and flourish until, magically, the key and locking mechanism conform to each other?s design until the key is capable of turning the lock. This is an absurd and unreasonable expectation.
So you wait until you?ve found one of those proper keys. The degree of your own efforts, mathematics and probability may increase or decrease your chances of finding one of those keys. When you do find a key that fits and turns the lock, you have found a soulmate. But there is still no guarantee that a marriage will last. That key may have been cut from metal of poor quality and break inside the lock. You spend some time digging out the shattered piece and then resume looking for another key.
When you find another key that works and years of use do not wear out the key or the lock, you can begin to consider the fact that you have found a real-life soulmate to spend the rest of your days with.
But even then, it is possible that you still may find yet another key that will fit and turn the lock. This means you?ve found another soulmate. But you will have to discard those other keys, otherwise the key you committed yourself to will be neglected, begin to deteriorate and weaken until it breaks.
It is also quite possible that, for some, they will never find a key that fits and turns the lock. Several possibilities might account for this and many may be unknown. These people remain single throughout their life or they blunder through a series of unhappy marriages, settling for keys that fit but don?t work just for the sake of companionship and the fear of being alone.
You are a lock in need of a key. May you find that key and unlock the joys therein.
Do you believe in the existence of soulmates? There are a number of different soulmate theories. So to clarify the question, you must first decide which theory you believe in. The common theories are explained below, in generalized terms.
New Age Meaning of Soulmates
Believers of new age religions are those that believe in astrology, reincarnation, magic, karma, or witchcraft. There is usually one twin flame soulmate for each of us. Twin flame soulmates have spent multiple lifetimes together in past lives. There is incredible chemistry and attraction towards each other. They "complete" each other and only few lucky people are able to find their twin flame soulmate. Twin flame soulmates, if separated, usually suffer enormous pain.
Modern Soulmate Theory
It has nothing to do with reincarnation, astrology, or magic. Soulmates are not destined to be with each other. You may have one soulmate or a few soulmates for you. You may find your soulmates or you may not. Circumstances or your own free will may influence you to choose the wrong person. You may have one or millions of soulmates depending on how different you are from the population mean. Statistically, there is at least one person in this world that will bring you true love, a love that will last a lifetime.
Work-It-Out Theory
These people do not believe in soulmates. They believe a person can be happy with whoever they choose to be with, provided there is mutual attraction and commonalities which bring them together. People are not expected to be a perfect fit and love is built over time. Effort is the most important factor.
I believe in the modern soulmate theory, since there is no proof that there is anything cosmic or supernatural about it. However, I only use the term ?soulmate? for the lack of a better word and for being easily understood. Another term ought to be invented since there is no proof that we even have souls.
I cannot accept the work-it-out theory as I don?t believe a PS2 adapter will work with a USB port no matter how much they are attracted to each other or believe they have much in common. It is true that love is built over time and effort is a major factor, but these things are not enough.
My experiences compel me to believe in soulmates, but not just in one soulmate because, statistically, what are the chances of meeting that one person? I believe there are several potential-soulmates and these are individuals who resonate with each other in such a way that it goes beyond attraction and mere commonalities. I say potential-soulmates because they do fit together perfectly, as if completing each other, but it is only through time and growth in the relationship that they become proven-soulmates.
I believe I?ve encountered three of my potential-soulmates in life thus far. Each encounter began the same way. We admired each other from afar before speaking. Circumstance carried us apart just as quickly as they brought us together before we had the chance to even consider the possibility of a relationship. This usually happened more than once and it seemed highly unlikely that we?d ever meet again. But, as if by the determination of fate, we did meet again and were given yet another opportunity to become friends.
The first encounter lasted a little over three years but ended tragically because she betrayed our trust and became pregnant from another man while we were still dating. After twelve years of hindsight, I?m tempted to say that we were never really soulmates because I can now see so many glaring incompatibilities. Yet I still believe we were potential-soulmates, but burdened by under-developed personalities (we were young) and by the fact that she was, unfortunately, a rather selfish individual who never fully committed herself to the relationship. Since then, she?s developed a reputation for failed marriages, which may confirm my assessment.
My second encounter with a potential-soulmate began much like the first, but had a much happier outcome. We have been married almost ten years and each new day strengthens our status as proven-soulmates. When we first met there were people and circumstances that seemed determined to keep us apart. Now we?ve shared nearly a decade of trials and troubles, yet our love continues to grow. We are both fully committed to the relationship and to personal growth for the betterment of the marriage. There have been weak moments where the bond seemed vulnerable to opposing forces, yet we stayed together and rode them out. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have found a soulmate to share the rest of my life with.
My third encounter with a potential-soulmate is what prompted me to consider this issue of soulmate theories. I met her nearly five years ago while I was already married to my other soulmate. It began just as the other two. I felt a deep, compelling attraction but only admired her from afar. But this time I purposefully dismissed the attraction and made no conscious effort to pursue her since I was already married. Soon, and to my relief, circumstances removed her from my life. Eventually, however, we met again and for a while I intentionally avoided her. But avoidance proved to be futile as I found myself more and more thrust into her presence. Finally, and very cautiously, I decided to stop resisting, but only for investigative purposes, as I was now curious as to what was happening and how things would play out.
A friendship developed that lasted over a course of several months before circumstances again removed us. I?ve never seen or heard from her since, but occasionally, she will come to mind and I cannot help but feel acutely aware that we were indeed potential-soulmates that could have developed beyond the platonic relationship we briefly shared had I not already committed myself to another soulmate.
These experiences form the basis of my belief in ?soulmates.? And that third encounter is what leads me to believe that there is more than one potential-soulmate for each individual. I was already happily married to my soulmate when I met the third. I was not looking for her, nor did I have a desire to terminate the relationship with the one to pursue the other. I was not guided by lust or the excitement of infidelity and nothing occurred to which I should be ashamed of or could not share with my wife. I was simply guided by my own curiosity and the distinct nature of attraction that insisted upon not being ignored. It was entirely an act of will and self-control that kept it from growing further.
To some, perhaps, none of this will make sense. It is difficult to describe something like this because much of it is abstract, intangible, and largely intuitive. Perhaps my belief in soulmates could be summarized in the following analogy.
You are a lock in need of a key that will fit into the chamber to turn the locking mechanism. There is no single master key. Several keys were manufactured to go with the lock and all will work the lock equally well. Dating is the process of trying several keys until you?ve located one that works. Some will not fit at all and so you discard them. Others will fit but won?t turn the locking mechanism. Many marriages fail because they settled for a key that fit before finding one that fits and turns the lock. Trusting in the work-it-out theory, they believe they can be happy with this key because, in their minds, it?s impossible to find a perfect fit. They think that through the process of time and concerted effort love will survive and flourish until, magically, the key and locking mechanism conform to each other?s design until the key is capable of turning the lock. This is an absurd and unreasonable expectation.
So you wait until you?ve found one of those proper keys. The degree of your own efforts, mathematics and probability may increase or decrease your chances of finding one of those keys. When you do find a key that fits and turns the lock, you have found a soulmate. But there is still no guarantee that a marriage will last. That key may have been cut from metal of poor quality and break inside the lock. You spend some time digging out the shattered piece and then resume looking for another key.
When you find another key that works and years of use do not wear out the key or the lock, you can begin to consider the fact that you have found a real-life soulmate to spend the rest of your days with.
But even then, it is possible that you still may find yet another key that will fit and turn the lock. This means you?ve found another soulmate. But you will have to discard those other keys, otherwise the key you committed yourself to will be neglected, begin to deteriorate and weaken until it breaks.
It is also quite possible that, for some, they will never find a key that fits and turns the lock. Several possibilities might account for this and many may be unknown. These people remain single throughout their life or they blunder through a series of unhappy marriages, settling for keys that fit but don?t work just for the sake of companionship and the fear of being alone.
You are a lock in need of a key. May you find that key and unlock the joys therein.