Drinking Strategy

AgaBoogaBoo

Lifer
Feb 16, 2003
26,108
5
81
Recently a routine RCMP patrol parked outside a bar just off the main highway at Goobies, Newfoundland. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into.

He sat there for a few minutes and then threw a hook and line out the window and seemed to be trying to catch a fish. A number of other patrons failed to observe this crazy drunk as they left the bar and drove off. Finally the drunk started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry summer night) flicked the blinkers on, then off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.

He pulled in the hook and line and moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for A few more minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left.
At last, the parking lot was empty; he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road. The officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to Headquarters. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud Newfoundlander.
"Tonight I'm the designated decoy!"

For those who browse the Dieselstation forums, yes, I stole it from there
 

her209

No Lifer
Oct 11, 2000
56,336
11
0
There was once a man who was in a bar, terribly drunk. The bartender noticed this, and when he asked for another beer, the bartender politely told him that he was too drunk to be served another drink. The man leaves. He walks in the side door and asks the bartender for a beer. A little frustrated, the bartender repeats the answer he said before. The man leaves. He then comes in the other side door, walks to the bartender and asks for a beer. The bartender is annoyed, and tells the man he is too drunk and to get a ride home and leave his bar. He leaves. He then comes in the BACK door, comes the the bartender, and before he can say a word, the bartender explodes at him. "I told you already, you are way to drunk, you can not have another beer Get out of my bar" Disgruntled, the man looks at the bartender and asks, "Man, how many bars do you work at?"
 

Charmed

Senior member
Sep 9, 2005
302
0
0
Originally posted by: AgaBoogaBoo
Recently a routine RCMP patrol parked outside a bar just off the main highway at Goobies, Newfoundland. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into.

He sat there for a few minutes and then threw a hook and line out the window and seemed to be trying to catch a fish. A number of other patrons failed to observe this crazy drunk as they left the bar and drove off. Finally the drunk started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry summer night) flicked the blinkers on, then off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.

He pulled in the hook and line and moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for A few more minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left.
At last, the parking lot was empty; he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road. The officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to Headquarters. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud Newfoundlander.
"Tonight I'm the designated decoy!"

For those who browse the Dieselstation forums, yes, I stole it from there

....and they stole it from myspace...
 

Syringer

Lifer
Aug 2, 2001
19,333
2
71
Originally posted by: Charmed
Originally posted by: AgaBoogaBoo
Recently a routine RCMP patrol parked outside a bar just off the main highway at Goobies, Newfoundland. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into.

He sat there for a few minutes and then threw a hook and line out the window and seemed to be trying to catch a fish. A number of other patrons failed to observe this crazy drunk as they left the bar and drove off. Finally the drunk started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry summer night) flicked the blinkers on, then off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.

He pulled in the hook and line and moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for A few more minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left.
At last, the parking lot was empty; he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road. The officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to Headquarters. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud Newfoundlander.
"Tonight I'm the designated decoy!"

For those who browse the Dieselstation forums, yes, I stole it from there

....and they stole it from myspace...

And they stole it from 1997
 

Charmed

Senior member
Sep 9, 2005
302
0
0
Originally posted by: Syringer
Originally posted by: Charmed
Originally posted by: AgaBoogaBoo
Recently a routine RCMP patrol parked outside a bar just off the main highway at Goobies, Newfoundland. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into.

He sat there for a few minutes and then threw a hook and line out the window and seemed to be trying to catch a fish. A number of other patrons failed to observe this crazy drunk as they left the bar and drove off. Finally the drunk started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry summer night) flicked the blinkers on, then off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.

He pulled in the hook and line and moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for A few more minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left.
At last, the parking lot was empty; he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road. The officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to Headquarters. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud Newfoundlander.
"Tonight I'm the designated decoy!"

For those who browse the Dieselstation forums, yes, I stole it from there

....and they stole it from myspace...

And they stole it from 1997


lol.....nice.
 

b0mbrman

Lifer
Jun 1, 2001
29,470
1
81
Originally posted by: Charmed
Originally posted by: AgaBoogaBoo
Recently a routine RCMP patrol parked outside a bar just off the main highway at Goobies, Newfoundland. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into.

He sat there for a few minutes and then threw a hook and line out the window and seemed to be trying to catch a fish. A number of other patrons failed to observe this crazy drunk as they left the bar and drove off. Finally the drunk started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry summer night) flicked the blinkers on, then off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.

He pulled in the hook and line and moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for A few more minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left.
At last, the parking lot was empty; he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road. The officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to Headquarters. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud Newfoundlander.
"Tonight I'm the designated decoy!"

For those who browse the Dieselstation forums, yes, I stole it from there

....and they stole it from myspace...

This joke has been around since well before the internet.

Still funny though
 

andylawcc

Lifer
Mar 9, 2000
18,183
3
81
Originally posted by: Syringer
Originally posted by: Charmed
Originally posted by: AgaBoogaBoo
Recently a routine RCMP patrol parked outside a bar just off the main highway at Goobies, Newfoundland. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into.

He sat there for a few minutes and then threw a hook and line out the window and seemed to be trying to catch a fish. A number of other patrons failed to observe this crazy drunk as they left the bar and drove off. Finally the drunk started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry summer night) flicked the blinkers on, then off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.

He pulled in the hook and line and moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for A few more minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left.
At last, the parking lot was empty; he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road. The officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to Headquarters. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud Newfoundlander.
"Tonight I'm the designated decoy!"

For those who browse the Dieselstation forums, yes, I stole it from there

....and they stole it from myspace...

And they stole it from 1997

hiliarious OP, hiliarously rEdiclulluouus reply
 
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