Ebay Etiquette?

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pkilway01

Senior member
Jul 5, 2007
236
0
76
I didn't leave any negative feedback, she was indicating she'd pay so I wouldn't - and that she sent me the payment before she emailed. So it went like this:

1st - My email
2nd - Her payment
3rd - Her email

I do plan on leaving her positive feedback after the transaction is complete.
 

pkilway01

Senior member
Jul 5, 2007
236
0
76
Originally posted by: PingSpike
Originally posted by: pkilway01
Ok, recently sold something on Ebay.

I sold three tickets for an Amusement Park admission on a specific date, which was clearly listed in the Ebay posting. So these are time sensitive - I needed to sell them and get them to the bidder before the date of the ticket.

Had one bidder, the winner, but 4-6 others that emailed me asking questions about the tickets (so there was soem interest).

Ebay auction closed. I immediately emailed the winner to notify them that they won and ask for payment so I could overnight the tickets to them ASAP.

Now, I just got a reply from the winner saying they purchased them by mistake. They thought the tickets I was selling was for a different day and would I mind if they back out.

I know DIY, Anandtech and other forums have very specific etiquette about transactions on their forums. But what's the Ebay Etiquette? Should I make this person pay? I can't sell the tickets now, there's no way to get a new Auction listed and get these tickets sold and to the new winner before the date of the tickets.

Any and all advice appreciated.

Your post contains a logic error. An assumption was made that you have the capability to force them to pay. This assumption is incorrect.

True, I can't force them. Noted.
 

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,143
10
81
Originally posted by: mugs
Originally posted by: pkilway01
Their response:

-----------------------------

If I didn't bid on your tickets, you would have not sold
them, I was the only bidder! Whatever! Just not to get a negative
feedback - I already paid.

------------------------------

So now should I feel bad for her stupidity AND is she really acting like the "bigger person" by the tone of her email?

Wait 90 days and leave a negative anyway. Even if she paid in the end, she's not someone I'd want to deal with on eBay. Make sure you follow all of Paypal's requirements to prevent her from reversing the charge later.

why leave a neg? she paid. thats all she had to do.


to leave a neg after payment just shows how petty people can be.
 

kami333

Diamond Member
Dec 12, 2001
5,110
2
76
Leave a positive but add that she initially did not want to pay but eventually did.
 

Triumph

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
15,031
14
81
Originally posted by: mugs
Originally posted by: pkilway01
Their response:

-----------------------------

If I didn't bid on your tickets, you would have not sold
them, I was the only bidder! Whatever! Just not to get a negative
feedback - I already paid.

------------------------------

So now should I feel bad for her stupidity AND is she really acting like the "bigger person" by the tone of her email?

Wait 90 days and leave a negative anyway. Even if she paid in the end, she's not someone I'd want to deal with on eBay. Make sure you follow all of Paypal's requirements to prevent her from reversing the charge later.

You don't leave somebody a negative just because they asked if they could back out of the deal. :roll:
 

mugs

Lifer
Apr 29, 2003
48,920
46
91
Originally posted by: waggy
Originally posted by: mugs
Originally posted by: pkilway01
Their response:

-----------------------------

If I didn't bid on your tickets, you would have not sold
them, I was the only bidder! Whatever! Just not to get a negative
feedback - I already paid.

------------------------------

So now should I feel bad for her stupidity AND is she really acting like the "bigger person" by the tone of her email?

Wait 90 days and leave a negative anyway. Even if she paid in the end, she's not someone I'd want to deal with on eBay. Make sure you follow all of Paypal's requirements to prevent her from reversing the charge later.

why leave a neg? she paid. thats all she had to do.


to leave a neg after payment just shows how petty people can be.

At best she deserves a neutral. Feedback isn't just dependent on whether the seller ships the item and the buyer pays, it's based on the full transaction.

She tried to back out after the auction was over, and she ONLY paid because he threatened her with a NPB and a negative feedback - she admitted as much. Definitely not a POSITIVE experience. If you were at a retail establishment and they tried to pull similar shenanigans with you, how would you react?

Bottom line is, she's a bad ebayer. She won an auction and then tried to get out of paying. She is not the kind of person I'd want to deal with. It's not petty, it's a warning to people who may deal with her in the future.
 

mugs

Lifer
Apr 29, 2003
48,920
46
91
Originally posted by: Triumph

You don't leave somebody a negative just because they asked if they could back out of the deal. :roll:

I do see now in the OP she asked if he minds if she backs out. Still I don't think she deserves anything better than a neutral feedback.

People are too generous with feedback on eBay, it's no wonder that there are so many bad eBayers.
 

Ns1

No Lifer
Jun 17, 2001
55,420
1,599
126
Originally posted by: mugs
Originally posted by: waggy
Originally posted by: mugs
Originally posted by: pkilway01
Their response:

-----------------------------

If I didn't bid on your tickets, you would have not sold
them, I was the only bidder! Whatever! Just not to get a negative
feedback - I already paid.

------------------------------

So now should I feel bad for her stupidity AND is she really acting like the "bigger person" by the tone of her email?

Wait 90 days and leave a negative anyway. Even if she paid in the end, she's not someone I'd want to deal with on eBay. Make sure you follow all of Paypal's requirements to prevent her from reversing the charge later.

why leave a neg? she paid. thats all she had to do.


to leave a neg after payment just shows how petty people can be.

At best she deserves a neutral. Feedback isn't just dependent on whether the seller ships the item and the buyer pays, it's based on the full transaction.

She tried to back out after the auction was over, and she ONLY paid because he threatened her with a NPB and a negative feedback - she admitted as much. Definitely not a POSITIVE experience.

Bottom line is, she's a bad ebayer. She won an auction and then tried to get out of paying. She is not the kind of person I'd want to deal with. It's not petty, it's a warning to people who may deal with her in the future.

Yeah but it's not like he had to really hassle her. 3 emails and he got his payment. IMHO if I was the seller I'd leave her a positive no problem. "Buyer made a mistake but owned up to it and paid." Why would you leave a negative for that? if that were the case, if the same thing were to happen to the buyer again she wouldn't pay for it. "why should I pay anyway if that douchebag seller is going to leave me a negative"

If you were at a retail establishment and they tried to pull similar shenanigans with you, how would you react?

You can put it in other terms. She went into a retail establishment. Preordered the item and realized she made a mistake. She tried to go cancel the preorder before the store informed her that all preorders are final. Understandably, angry at her own stupidity, she tries to not pay for it, at which point the store threatens her. She owns up to it and pays.

Why would you want to alienate her? If she can understand why you wanted her to pay, maybe she'll buy something from you again later. There's no need to be an asshat.

One more. I clicked on her FB profile. It's clear that FB is pretty important to her and that overall she's a good ebayer. Once again, she made a mistake. If you treat her well, she may buy from you again.
 

mugs

Lifer
Apr 29, 2003
48,920
46
91
Originally posted by: NeuroSynapsis

Yeah but it's not like he had to really hassle her. 3 emails and he got his payment. IMHO if I was the seller I'd leave her a positive no problem. "Buyer made a mistake but owned up to it and paid." Why would you leave a negative for that? if that were the case, if the same thing were to happen to the buyer again she wouldn't pay for it. "why should I pay anyway if that douchebag seller is going to leave me a negative"

See my most recent post... I revised my stance based on something I didn't notice in the OP before. She deserves a neutral, not a negative. Not a positive either though.
 

Ns1

No Lifer
Jun 17, 2001
55,420
1,599
126
Originally posted by: mugs
Originally posted by: NeuroSynapsis

Yeah but it's not like he had to really hassle her. 3 emails and he got his payment. IMHO if I was the seller I'd leave her a positive no problem. "Buyer made a mistake but owned up to it and paid." Why would you leave a negative for that? if that were the case, if the same thing were to happen to the buyer again she wouldn't pay for it. "why should I pay anyway if that douchebag seller is going to leave me a negative"

See my most recent post... I revised my stance based on something I didn't notice in the OP before. She deserves a neutral, not a negative. Not a positive either though.

I still don't see it. If you were in her position, you'd try to do the same thing. "oh shit I fucked up, maybe the seller will let me out of it." She ASKED if she could back out, and when seller said no, she paid in a very reasonable time period.

For reference I sell a shitload on eBay, and this is the stance I'd take.
 

Cdubneeddeal

Diamond Member
Oct 22, 2003
7,473
3
81
She made a mistake in bidding and asked nicely to back out. She paid quickly after the OP sent the email because she cared enough about her feedback and reputation. Everyone messes up every once in a while on purchases on eBay. I would give her a positive.
 

Captante

Lifer
Oct 20, 2003
30,337
10,855
136
I would either leave neutral feedback with a detailed explanation or just forget about it... while annoying, this incident doesn't warrant na negative IMO.
 

rh71

No Lifer
Aug 28, 2001
52,844
1,049
126
what kind of a back-out starts with "would you mind?" Sounds like there's a chance she'll still go through with it.

Say yes, you do mind, as you cannot sell them otherwise.

EDIT>> ok so she paid, don't leave any feedback either way.
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
Originally posted by: pontifex
contact the next highest bidder and see if they still want them.

other than that, you're pretty much screwed

EDIT: Please update the original post...

In this case I would definitely give positive, she probably made a legitimate mistake and was hoping you had another buyer lined up.

You always have to be careful of other bidders selling a similar item and taking yours out of the competition and even making theirs look more attractive by tying yours up with a false bid. It happens a lot.
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
Originally posted by: NeuroSynapsis
Originally posted by: mugs
Originally posted by: waggy
Originally posted by: mugs
Originally posted by: pkilway01
Their response:

-----------------------------

If I didn't bid on your tickets, you would have not sold
them, I was the only bidder! Whatever! Just not to get a negative
feedback - I already paid.

------------------------------

So now should I feel bad for her stupidity AND is she really acting like the "bigger person" by the tone of her email?

Wait 90 days and leave a negative anyway. Even if she paid in the end, she's not someone I'd want to deal with on eBay. Make sure you follow all of Paypal's requirements to prevent her from reversing the charge later.

why leave a neg? she paid. thats all she had to do.


to leave a neg after payment just shows how petty people can be.

At best she deserves a neutral. Feedback isn't just dependent on whether the seller ships the item and the buyer pays, it's based on the full transaction.

She tried to back out after the auction was over, and she ONLY paid because he threatened her with a NPB and a negative feedback - she admitted as much. Definitely not a POSITIVE experience.

Bottom line is, she's a bad ebayer. She won an auction and then tried to get out of paying. She is not the kind of person I'd want to deal with. It's not petty, it's a warning to people who may deal with her in the future.

Yeah but it's not like he had to really hassle her. 3 emails and he got his payment. IMHO if I was the seller I'd leave her a positive no problem. "Buyer made a mistake but owned up to it and paid." Why would you leave a negative for that? if that were the case, if the same thing were to happen to the buyer again she wouldn't pay for it. "why should I pay anyway if that douchebag seller is going to leave me a negative"

If you were at a retail establishment and they tried to pull similar shenanigans with you, how would you react?

You can put it in other terms. She went into a retail establishment. Preordered the item and realized she made a mistake. She tried to go cancel the preorder before the store informed her that all preorders are final. Understandably, angry at her own stupidity, she tries to not pay for it, at which point the store threatens her. She owns up to it and pays.

Why would you want to alienate her? If she can understand why you wanted her to pay, maybe she'll buy something from you again later. There's no need to be an asshat.

One more. I clicked on her FB profile. It's clear that FB is pretty important to her and that overall she's a good ebayer. Once again, she made a mistake. If you treat her well, she may buy from you again.

QFT...only an asshole would do that. A buyer has the option to ask for anything...as the seller you can accept or decline. If the buyer keeps pushing then action needs to happen.

People get so irate with lowballs. To me lowballing is about 90% of how we get products on our shelves. Also I have won/bought amazing items for offers that I couldn't afford to go higher on and thought there was no way in hell I'd get it. Sure enough either the seller just wanted anything for it, didn't know what they had/mislabelled it, or there was no other interest.

In 1997ish I picked up a set of Klipsch Quartets, an Academy, pair of PSB alphas, and a Yamaha RX-V1050 for $800 in pristine condition. I still have the Quartets, but I had no idea an Academy was worth so much when I sold mine in 1999 for about $175. I recently replaced it with one found locally for $300. I was honest with the guy when he asked isn't the speaker worth a lot more. I told him he could get up to $500-600 (at the time) but you always risk a chargeback or renegotiation after the sale when Joe Idiot says the 1/32" blemish you didn't mention.

I had cash in hand and he had three of them to sell.
 

needalife

Senior member
Jul 28, 2007
576
1
0
In this case, seeing how the item is very time sensitive, I'd just charge the winning bidder as it is clearly their mistake...
 

alimoalem

Diamond Member
Sep 22, 2005
4,025
0
0
dude whoever's saying leave negative feedback is, for lack of better words, dumb. if someone asks whether it's okay to back out or not and ends up paying within 24 hours does not deserve negative feedback. give her a positive. she asked nicely if she could back out then paid you when you said no.

btw, as far as i know, there is no ebay etiquette. the way i go about is if you're selling a time sensitive item, get your money. if you're not and the winner is willing to pay for ebay fees or one of your Second Chance Offers pays, let the winner back out.
 
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