Exgirlfriend and Roomate Love Triangle....

[Scarpozzi]

Alright...I just need some general advice. 3 years ago, I started seeing this girl and we dated for about 4 months. I broke up with her, but she would call me up and we'd hang out about every few months. It turned out to be sort of an 'unsaid booty call'. Anyhow, she had a scare about 3 months ago and thought she was pregnant and feelings between us sort of came out at that time... For instance, I learned that she was still in love with me from 3 years ago and that she wanted to be with me. Unfortunately, I'm too imature to be tied down at this point in my life and told her that I didn't have strong feelings for her the same way she did me. BIG MISTAKE. We found out 2 days later that everything was ok and it was a false alarm, but she ended up calling to speak with me one day and started talking to my roommate. Well....she and I got together last week and we were talking about my roommate. All of the sudden, she told me that she dated him and that they had seen each other a couple of times. I know my roommate so that pretty much means that they had sex! He kept this from me and never told me!!! Now, I was sitting in the livingroom and his cellphone rang. He picked it up and I heard my exgf's voice on the phone and she was even talking about me. I got up and walked out of the room.

Now, this is a classic example of what NOT to do to a roommate/friend of 4 years. Tell me people. What should I do here?

 

[minendo]

Consult him verbally, do not use physical force.

 

[StattlichPassat]

<< Consult him verbally, do not use physical force. >>

 

[N8Magic]

Three words: Bros before hos.

I had a similar situation bust up my living arrangement last year. :|

 

[Passions]

Hoes for bros.

 

[Brutuskend]

The question really is.
Are you mad because YOU still have feelings for HER, or are you mad because this means no more bootie calls??

 

[Azraele]

I'd talk to him, but it's not his fault that she called. You've already admitted that you don't want to be tied down to this girl, so think things through before you push the envelope too hard.
I do think you need to clear things up with both parties.

 

[Kelvrick]

<< The question really is.
Are you mad because YOU still have feelings for HER, or are you mad because this means no more bootie calls?? >>


I'd have to agree. You already said you don't have those kind of feelings for her.

 

[lawaris]

feelings ......they always hurt u

 

[Scarpozzi]

Right... I just hate that he never said anything about it. It's like he's sneaking around and if he does it once, he's probably going to try again. I Just hate that people change over time like this. Before he got laid, he was a nicer guy...

 

[Scrooge2]

Yeah i know the feelings. You thought you didnt have that strong feelings for her. But the reason you're here confused asking for advice means something. Most times when people ask a question like this online there's somehting they want to hear from the rest of us. Think about it, what do you want to hear? That's usually the truth about your feelings. If you wanna hear that you should confront your roomate and tell him to back off, you have a lot for this girl than you thought.

 

[Azraele]

<< It's like he's sneaking around >>


I'm not saying he was right to do what he did, but perhaps he didn't tell you because she asked him not to? Or because he didn't want to create tension between you two? Put yourself in his shoes, try and understand why he would behave in the way he did.

 

[AreaCode707]

Hey, you're the one that backed away from her. You're not interested and you made it clear. Chance are, he didn't tell you because he didn't want to get you mad. You've got NO claim on the girl whatsoever. I have to echo Brutuskend.



<< The question really is.
Are you mad because YOU still have feelings for HER, or are you mad because this means no more bootie calls?? >>



Take the chance to shed a little of that immaturity you talked about and keep some goodwill toward your roommate. He's not doing anything wrong.

 

[wnied]

I have to agree with Brutus and Hotchic. You gave up your right to get angry when you stated you couldnt commit to anyone yet. So with that in mind, your claim on the "Booty Mine" ...is Moot. What you need to do is let your roomie know, that you know of the situation and that if he would like, you could give him some insight as to her preferences in the sack.

At the very least you should tell your roomie you know it's going on.
~wnied~

 

[mchammer187]

if she dumped you or broke up w/ you because of him that it would be a different story

then she would be off limits

 

[Muadib]

You did the dumping, so the roomie is in the clear. It sucks that he didn't let you know, but I can understand it. I gotta give it to your ex. Nothing tops that for payback. ...

 

[ThaGrandCow]

Wow... it's like I was teh one who posetd this thread. I went through the exact thing with my roomate months ago. I even asked him to not see my ex (not because I wanted her, just because I didn't want to see her coming out half dressed from his room one day, that would be odd). He told me ok, and then I found out he was seeing her in his spare time. Fortunately me and the ex are still friends and she told me everything. I yelled at him about it, and "accidentally" dropped to her that he had mono and had no intention of telling her (not true, but I was pissed at the time). Neither of them spoke to each other after that to find out the truth

 

[Orsorum]

thaGrandCow - .

Wow, way to be mature... I'll have to keep that in mind for future ammunition towards my exs...oh, wait, none of them go here, thank goodness.

 

[Chrono]

haha
dude, forget her, and forget him as well
just find another roommate.. preferably a hot girl roommate that you can sex0r everyday
that sounds great

 

[Mookow]

sorry man, you gave up rights when you dumped her.

Talk to your roommate about how it bugs you. Otherwise you'll be pissed, and he wont know why. This way, you'll might still be pissed, but he'll know why.

 

[crystal]

sorry man, you gave up rights when you dumped her.

So what is your problem? Do you feel she/they needs your permission to make up her/their own mind on who to date? Grow up.

 

[Red Dawn]

Count your blessings. She's his problem now not yours!

 

[Nitemare]

Maybe your girl and my roommate can trade
tag team off the rope, on the ocean or in the boat
factores, or hundred spokes
what 'bout in the candy sto' that chocolate chocolate make it melt
whips and chains, handcuffs, smack a little bootie up with my belt

 

[Beau]

<< Count your blessings. She's his problem now not yours! >>





Yup.

 

[Alex]

<< Three words: Bros before hos. >>



BUT --> you have to appreciate that after you kinda told your ex that u didnt feel the same way about her u cant really expect much from her, shes prolly hurt pretty bad.

personally i think your roomate is a fsckin a$$hole for doing this to you and i would consult him verbally and then use force...

my $0.02