Its hard for me to write this post, because in truth I am writing to myself more than I am to you. I sense that some earlier posters, like I, see their younger selves in you. Not that I am that far from your position now, being just 20 myself.
I also don't want to get involved. On one level it is troubling that those I can say the least to are those most like me, and those I respect the most. It is a tough road that everyone walks, I don't want to look into your future and see my past. There are some situations I wouldn't wish on anyone. After going through them, I still have a lot of the same questions and troubles. It is all different now, why I don't know, but having gone through high school, love lost etc. things are different if only because I have been through them.
If what I remember from high school is true in your time and at your school; you will likely recieve a good mark. You will also likely be counseled on the paper. Your biggest liabilty as I see it is that your teacher will grade it or not more on the tone of your message than on the writing and delivery.
If your estimation of this forum has changed as a result of the responses to your thread, so be it. It is a bit of a fantasy to expect we or anyone to be able to provide helpful guiding answers to questions that neither you or anyone else can answer. Regarding the stylistic critisicsm you have recieved, learn to cherish the harsh responses. They sometimes come from assholes, but more often, and specifically when they make sense, do they come from someone who sees merit in your work. I would'nt kick a dog, but I sure as hell will punch a guy bigger than me.
My current guess at life holds to many points you make, and some that you hint at. It ain't easy. And there probably isn't a good reason to go through it as a whole. But, again as others have already said, you can find some small comfort in the day to day. You will find things you enjoy doing, I'd bet that you already have. They may seem insignificant and small, existence and society will prevent you from enjoying yourself most of the time, but that is just how it is. You may not be able to accept what you need to today. I have a strong feeling that there is never a point in anyone's life where they have sorted through everything and are ready to move on to tommorrow. But it is important to do just that. Of all the contradictions that make up my philosphy, that is perhaps the one I am most glad for. The unbearable is to be beared. When something impossible happens, it happens. When something as essential to life as being able to live your life just isnt there, do it anyway, pass it by. Seek counsel within. The important thing is the journey, not the destination. I just surpassed my quota of maxims by vast degrees, and I have forgot any point or message I may have meant to convey at my start. This is usually where I end my writings, when you and I are most confused about what the hell I just said.
I think that your post was not really about your paper, but if you are still working on the paper, and would like me to point out possible revisions, PM me. I will be up for a little bit longer. Yes I misused semi-colons and I dont think I am a good writer either. But thats just because I am fishing for compliments.