'Going Rogue'

[DukeN]

Forget republicans, I'm in a bit of shock to learn that Alaskans actually know of the existence of books.

Guess this will point out the minimum number of retards in the country (# of copies sold).

 

[PJABBER]

How Did Sarah Palin Write Her Memoir So Fast?

How Did Sarah Palin Write Her Memoir So Fast?

By Laura Fitzpatrick
TIME
Wednesday, Oct. 07, 2009

Fans and foes alike are hoping for surprises in Sarah Palin's memoir, Going Rogue: An American Life, which leapfrogged Dan Brown and Glenn Beck to the top of the Amazon.com best-seller list last week before even being published. But with over a month to go until the book hits shelves on Nov. 17, the biggest shocker thus far is the sheer speed with which she wrote it. The former Alaska governor penned the 400-page tome in just four months, finishing well before the planned spring release date. So how the heck did she do it?

Palin's publisher says the answer is simple: hard work. "When she resigned as governor, she had a lot more time and was able to really devote herself full-time to writing the book," says Tina Andreadis, a spokeswoman for HarperCollins. "That's really all that there is."

Well, there's also this: Palin had help. Editorial sidekicks are par for the course in political memoirs, though ghostwriters say many pols are heavily involved in the writing process. Palin's assist came from Lynn Vincent, a writer for the Christian news magazine WORLD who has co-authored several other books.

Vincent is mum on the collaboration; a confidentiality agreement forbids her from divulging any details. But the authors behind other famous names say a variety of factors can influence how quickly a ghostwriter does her job.

Foremost among them is the richness of the subject material ? and here Palin, with her colorful family, devoted following and knack for inciting controversy at every turn, is a ghostwriter's dream. "Your worst enemy is a boring subject," says Sally Jenkins, co-author of Lance Armstrong's 2000 best seller, It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life, and other sports memoirs. "And [Palin] certainly isn't that."

It also helps to have a subject who knows what message she wants to get across. Palin was apparently clear from the start about her book's mission: "It will be nice through an unfiltered forum to get to speak truthfully about who we are and what we stand for and what Alaska is all about," she told the Anchorage Daily News in May, when the deal was first announced. Memoirists with fuzzier goals may find the process slowed by handlers or publishers who bicker over how the book should read, ghostwriters say.

But having a clear message is no guarantee of speed, especially if it's a policy-heavy, labor-intensive one. Crafting former CIA chief George Tenet's 2007 memoir, which was laden with sensitive information and required extensive document research, took about 18 months, says ghostwriter Bill Harlow. "If it's more personality driven, I think it's probably easier to finish in a shorter period of time," he says.

The last potential time sink is steeping the ghostwriter in the author's voice well enough that he or she can channel it convincingly. Palin's singular rhetorical style is a boon on that score. "The fun part is when you get to the point that they don't even notice it wasn't something they actually said," says Jenkins. "Sarah Palin, in her own odd vernacular, is incredibly sort of quotable and eloquent, in her own Palinesque way."

After interviewing the memoirist extensively, talking to family members, scrutinizing television appearances and mining speeches or other documents, a ghostwriter with the need for speed may enlist transcribers and fact checkers to expedite the process. But in the end, how quickly the book gets finished depends largely on the ghostwriter's drive to grind it out. "My friends used to joke about, I think it's Control plus F10 ? [the computer shortcut that brings up] the word count," says Barbara Feinman Todd, who ghostwrote Hillary Clinton's 1996 best seller, It Takes a Village, among other books. Jenkins, meanwhile, recalls months of pumping out 40 pages a week for Armstrong's memoir. "You're a basket case afterward," she says. "But you can certainly do it."

Once the ghostwriter has finished writing, the task of rushing a book into print falls to the publisher. If a newsy or highly anticipated manuscript arrives on schedule, says Steve Culpepper, executive director of editorial at Globe Pequot Press, editors huddle with sales and marketing staff members, among others, to determine whether it's big enough to be worth crashing out quickly. The company's president makes the final call.

If it's a go, each step in the release process gets crunched. Instead of having a manuscript copyedited all at once and then sent to the author for review, doing it piecemeal can whittle the typical four-week process down to less than one, Culpepper says. Two weeks of fact-checking can get cut in half, and design and layout times may be curtailed from five weeks to five days. Eight days are shaved off the usual 10 for proofreading. And last-minute corrections are done in a single day instead of a week. When the printed books arrive in the warehouse, they're shipped out again the same day.

The impetus for all that extra work is, of course, money. Rush rates can bump up copyediting, proofreading and fact-checking costs by 50%, Culpepper explains. Which means the publisher has to calculate whether or not getting a book out quickly will drive up sales. In that sense, the decision to expedite Palin's memoir was a slam dunk, since the quick turnaround ensures that the book will hit shelves with just 38 shopping days until Christmas. "It's holiday time, which is the best, best time to sell a book," says HarperCollins' Andreadis. "We're thrilled."

********************

Hey, you read the whole article? Here is an extra special treat for you!

The Fashion Looks Of Sarah Palin

 

[jonks]

Originally posted by: PJABBER
How Did Sarah Palin Write Her Memoir So Fast?

By Laura Fitzpatrick
TIME
Wednesday, Oct. 07, 2009

Once the ghostwriter has finished writing, the task of rushing a book into print falls to the publisher.

so she wrote it so fast because she didn't write it. clear.

 

[Ausm]

Still time to collect the prize!

http://leftake.com/diary/858/2...itle-sarah-palins-book

 

[PJABBER]

Originally posted by: Ausm
Still time to collect the prize!

http://leftake.com/diary/858/2...itle-sarah-palins-book

The really funny thing about that contest is that none of the alternative titles are even half-funny!

:laugh:

The really sad thing is that after Lenny Bruce passed away, the humor of the Left has been nothing but a compilation of meanness. Why is that?

 

[Ausm]

Originally posted by: PJABBER

Originally posted by: Ausm
Still time to collect the prize!

http://leftake.com/diary/858/2...itle-sarah-palins-book

The really funny thing about that contest is that none of the alternative titles are even half-funny!

:laugh:

The really sad thing is that after Lenny Bruce passed away, the humor of the Left has been nothing but a compilation of meanness. Why is that?

I was thinking the same think about the Republican side when Newt crawled back underneath his rock.

 

[PJABBER]

Originally posted by: Ausm

Originally posted by: PJABBER

Originally posted by: Ausm
Still time to collect the prize!

http://leftake.com/diary/858/2...itle-sarah-palins-book

The really funny thing about that contest is that none of the alternative titles are even half-funny!

:laugh:

The really sad thing is that after Lenny Bruce passed away, the humor of the Left has been nothing but a compilation of meanness. Why is that?

I was thinking the same think about the Republican side when Newt crawled back underneath his rock.

I can't accept your premise that Republican (and are the Republicans now synonymous with the Right???) humor died out with Newt leaving office (yet he is still very active on the news shows, etc. so I wouldn't entirely count his zingers out yet.) I believe the funniest Republican was actually Lee Atwater (may he and his guitar rest in everlasting peace! :music: :music: :music with a tie between Dick Cheney and Karl Rove for current Republican comedy All Stars! I am serious about this!

Right now the funniest professional comedians on the Right are probably Chris Rock and Dennis Miller. John Stewart and Lewis Black represent the Left, but I think Black is much more the archetype.

I bet the Palin book will have her sense of humor throughout!

 

[jonks]

Originally posted by: PJABBER
I bet the Palin book will have her sense of humor throughout!

what has she said that was (intentionally) funny?

Originally posted by: PJABBER
Right now the funniest professional comedians on the Right are probably Chris Rock

huh?

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: PJABBER
Right now the funniest professional comedians on the Right are probably Chris Rock and Dennis Miller. John Stewart and Lewis Black represent the Left, but I think Black is much more the archetype.

I bet the Palin book will have her sense of humor throughout!

Dennis Miller hasn't been funny since he left SNL and became a Republican and Republicans never had a sense of humor unless you consider nominating Palin a joke (we do but I doubt you do)

 

[PJABBER]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: PJABBER
Right now the funniest professional comedians on the Right are probably Chris Rock and Dennis Miller. John Stewart and Lewis Black represent the Left, but I think Black is much more the archetype.

I bet the Palin book will have her sense of humor throughout!

Dennis Miller hasn't been funny since he left SNL and became a Republican and Republicans never had a sense of humor unless you consider nominating Palin a joke (we do but I doubt you do)

I am not a Republican but when I listen to his radio show once in a while as I drive he has some very funny commentary.

I think your comment kind of reinforces my observation that the Left doesn't seem to have a sense of humor that isn't bitter, like the life has been sucked out of them...

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: PJABBER

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: PJABBER
Right now the funniest professional comedians on the Right are probably Chris Rock and Dennis Miller. John Stewart and Lewis Black represent the Left, but I think Black is much more the archetype.

I bet the Palin book will have her sense of humor throughout!

Dennis Miller hasn't been funny since he left SNL and became a Republican and Republicans never had a sense of humor unless you consider nominating Palin a joke (we do but I doubt you do)

I am not a Republican but when I listen to his radio show once in a while as I drive he has some very funny commentary.

I think your comment kind of reinforces my observation that the Left doesn't seem to have a sense of humor that isn't bitter, like the life has been sucked out of them...

No it reinforces the fact that you don't know funny and that it's you are your ilk who are bitter.

 

[Pens1566]

I'm still in full on wtf-mode over Chris Rock being considered "on the right". Someone isn't very familiar with Rock if they think that is the case.

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: Pens1566
I'm still in full on wtf-mode over Chris Rock being considered "on the right". Someone isn't very familiar with Rock if they think that is the case.

The Rights so short on intentional funny that they made him an honorary Wingnut because he criticized the whackos who defend Polanski.:laugh::thumbsup:

 

[PJABBER]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: PJABBER

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: PJABBER
Right now the funniest professional comedians on the Right are probably Chris Rock and Dennis Miller. John Stewart and Lewis Black represent the Left, but I think Black is much more the archetype.

I bet the Palin book will have her sense of humor throughout!

Dennis Miller hasn't been funny since he left SNL and became a Republican and Republicans never had a sense of humor unless you consider nominating Palin a joke (we do but I doubt you do)

I am not a Republican but when I listen to his radio show once in a while as I drive he has some very funny commentary.

I think your comment kind of reinforces my observation that the Left doesn't seem to have a sense of humor that isn't bitter, like the life has been sucked out of them...

No it reinforces the fact that you don't know funny and that it's you are your ilk who are bitter.

This is not OT, but just for a laugh, why don't you tell us all a lefty joke that everyone will think is funny?

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: PJABBER
[
This is not OT, but just for a laugh, why don't you tell us all a lefty joke that everyone will think is funny?

In a recent study, the United States was ranked the 114th happiest country in the world. Then Sarah Palin stepped down. Now we're at 17

 

[PJABBER]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: PJABBER
[
This is not OT, but just for a laugh, why don't you tell us all a lefty joke that everyone will think is funny?

In a recent study, the United States was ranked the 114th happiest country in the world. Then Sarah Palin stepped down. Now we're at 17

That does not even come close, proving my point once again.

I can't leave the field of battle without my own contribution, can I?

What Is Politics?

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep poo."

One more personal favorite, an oldie but goody, then I have to go for a bike ride and enjoy the sunshine!

Cows & Politics Explained

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. They are mad. They die. Pass the shepherd's pie, please.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship both of them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.

AN ISRAELI CORPORATION: There are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?

AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: PJABBER

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: PJABBER
[
This is not OT, but just for a laugh, why don't you tell us all a lefty joke that everyone will think is funny?

In a recent study, the United States was ranked the 114th happiest country in the world. Then Sarah Palin stepped down. Now we're at 17

That does not even come close, proving my point once again.

I can't leave the field of battle without my own contribution, can I?

What Is Politics?

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep poo."

One more personal favorite, an oldie but goody, then I have to go for a bike ride and enjoy the sunshine!

Cows & Politics Explained

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. They are mad. They die. Pass the shepherd's pie, please.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship both of them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.

AN ISRAELI CORPORATION: There are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?

AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

Yawn, typical wingnut, long drawn out and boring.

 

[PJABBER]

OK, OK, just one more!

Your Urgent Help Needed!

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transaction is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully,

Minister of Treasury Paulson

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: PJABBER
OK, OK, just one more!

Your Urgent Help Needed!

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transaction is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully,

Minister of Treasury Paulson

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Face it, political jokes are barely amusing at best.

 

[PJABBER]

Christmas Time in Washington

The Supreme Court ruled there cannot be a Nativity scene in Washington, D.C. this Christmas. This isn't for any religious or constitutional reason, they simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the nation's capitol. There was no problem however finding enough asses to fill the stable.

:laugh:

 

[PJABBER]

Last one, I promise!

A Guide to U.S. Newspapers

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The Washington Post is read by people who think they should run the country.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however like the smog statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave L.A. to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country, and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country either, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority, feministic atheist dwarfs, who also happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long as they are Democrats.

10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.

 

[PJABBER]

I lied!

State Mottos

Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity

Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat

Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything

California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It-Yet

Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids

Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave
Your Money)

Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes...Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure
Are Real Good

Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And Very
Little Else

Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada: Hookers and Poker!

New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent pets

New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An
Attorney....

North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing

Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal

Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee: The Educashun State

Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les

Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont: Yep

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!

Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?

West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Really!

Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese

Wyoming: Where Men Are Men... and the sheep are scared

 

[Ausm]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: PJABBER
[
This is not OT, but just for a laugh, why don't you tell us all a lefty joke that everyone will think is funny?

In a recent study, the United States was ranked the 114th happiest country in the world. Then Sarah Palin stepped down. Now we're at 17

lmfao :beer:

 

[PJABBER]

Building my post count!

Two Tough Questions

Question 1:

If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.

Question 2:

It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates.

Candidate A.

Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with an astrologist. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B.

He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C.

He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, only drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife. Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first ... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.

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Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question: If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: Ausm

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: PJABBER
[
This is not OT, but just for a laugh, why don't you tell us all a lefty joke that everyone will think is funny?

In a recent study, the United States was ranked the 114th happiest country in the world. Then Sarah Palin stepped down. Now we're at 17

lmfao :beer:

Dude not cool, Pjab worked his ass off copy and pasting all that, at least wink at him.