That still seems like a crazy-high estimate for that damage. My first thought upon seeing the pictures was 'it will live.' Looks like it needs at least one fender, bumper cover, bumper foam, bumper rebar, headlights, possibly a radiator support, hood...it seems like a lot, but the important part is that it all looks aesthetic and non-structural aside from the steel part of the bumper (rebar/support), which is obviously meant to be pretty sacrificial.
What kind of lights do you have? If they're HID's with motors (at least up and down, maybe the side-to-side ones, at well), they're likely a solid thousand bucks a piece.
Ooohhh...probably took out the laser module for your adaptive cruise, too, didn't it? There's another grand.
I can't believe you didn't get a police report. :/ It might not matter...sometimes they're so shitty (inaccurate) that it hurts more than helps. But I've never heard of not getting one unless the damage is very minor or you're the only car involved (and you didn't run into someone's house or otherwise cause mass property damage).
Yeah, I think it's crazy high as well. There seem to be a lot of little parts that are in the estimate like hood hinges, latches, clips etc that add up. The HID indeed is motorized (side to side) and I do have the laser cruise module inside the bumper as well. All that is being replaced. The re-conditioned HID by itself is $777 per the estimate. I'd imagine that a new one would cost a lot more.
My car was also sprayed with that coating that prevents nicks/chips in the bumper. All that is being added to the final cost.
I have to say that I never thought that the car would be this damaged when I was inside the car when it happened. It kind of sucks to know that something like this could cost so much to fix.