let the power of your emortions help you carefully select the
words, think less is more
Jean got it right IMO. Although I think a complete and total rewrite by a relative stranger is extreme, it could prove useful in strengthening your relationship and I'm a softie when it comes to love so here's my version:
My Beloved,
Wandering, my mind recalled a chance encounter with the person who has changed me in unimaginable ways and allowed me to see beauty in this world- you. Oh, how I long for you, my entire being in agony from the separation. From early dawn to late dusk I seek you only to find you missing. Ah, agony is separation. I look for you in the sky and there you are. I look for you in strangers passing by and your face smiles radiantly back at me. Oh my love to be with you if even in a passing minute is heaven itself.
You are mine and I am yours. No longer separated I am whole again through and in you. Friend, soul-mate, lover, oh my Beloved I wish to be in your arms. In your embrace do any troubles melt away. In your arms I find myself and through that, you. In you does the world resound in angelic symphonies. In you and you alone does the world make sense.
Separation from you wrings my heart. My soul cries out in agony to find you gone. The love-madness is pain and joy mixed so together that I have no recourse but to cry and laugh the laughter of a man so struck by love as to be powerless. Ah hear me my love you are mine and I am yours. For everything you are to me, thank you. If words could shout from this page, they would fill your mind with discord from our separation. If time could stop, we would still be one. If the world did indeed end through act of God or man, it would still never separate us. We are one, united in love, always. My Beloved my only solution to this madness is to love you more each day until nothing is left but love itself. You will never stop being a part of me and my life. I love you.
yours for eternity,
your name
Cheers !
ps: note the difference. If I were reading your version, I'd think "bah, some more typical teenagerish nonsense. This person doesn't really understand love. This person just feels the beginning of what he/she thinks is meant by love. I want more. I want to own wholly and submit wholly." I tried to make my version do just that. Although I don't know how effective it was since I, admittedly, have no basis to make a judgment. Also note that you didn't give me much to work with since I can't empathize and become you with just one letter...