Riiiinnnngggg*
Me: Hello
Them: May I speak with Mr. C?
Me: Umm well he's not in right now, this is his son. (which is me of course)
Them: Well can I speak to the person who handles the bills, or the head of the household?
Me: Well that would be my dad, but he's not in
Them: When would be a good time for us to contact him?
Me: Well I'm not sure, I haven't seen him since he's gone away.
Them: Where has he gone away too?
Me: They sent him to Cummins for killing another man. He's been in prison for about 6 months now.
Them: Well Ok, thank you bye
Scenario 2
Me: Hello
Them: May we speak to Mr. C?
Me: Do you mean Mr C?
Them: Yes this is so and so with Venerable Windows, we would like to talk to him.
Me: Well <insert crying voice here> Mr. C won't be able to come to the phone for a while.
Them: Well when would be a good time to get in contact with him?
Me: When you get to Heaven. He passed away about 3 months ago, could you please take him off your call list, it's very painful for us to hear his name, and it really tears us up.
Them: Ohh I'm soooo sorry, blah blah blah, <apologises about 3 times> Vowes to take Mr. C off the list.
Scenario 3
Me: Hello
Them: This is so and so, we need to talk to Mr. C
Me: (has to be female) Sooo Mr. C? How did you get his #? Did you meet him at Platinum Plus last weekend. <insert creepy voice right about now> This is Mr C speaking, my you have a very very very sexy voice.
Them: Well thank you....blah blah blah, <talk so much that you can't get a word in sideways>
Me: So what are you wearing right now? I'm naked.....You know that voice....it just does it for me, could you hold on? I have to take care of something real quick.....
They usually hang up....