I need some advice

[wetcat007]

Originally posted by: ScottSwingleComputers

Originally posted by: hanoverphist

Originally posted by: rsd
Take away the car until she gets her grades up, seems simple to me.

ditto. ive already had this talk with my 13 yr old, and will yank the keys if her grades drop below a B as well. gotta stay firm on it if you already laid down the law beforehand.

Good lord, where can 13 year olds drive?

Somalia

 

[GoodRevrnd]

Give her the money back, BUT also forbid her from working. Obviously it was a distraction from school and too many kids these days think they can just take some part time job after school to buy the shit they want now and pay their studies no mind.

 

[Eeezee]

Originally posted by: Plumcuda1
Well, I gave her a chance today to try and make this work so she could get the jeep. I gave her a few options.
If she got a 90 average for the last quarter she would have her B average. She flat out said that was impossible and couldn't do it. Next choice was summer school. Nope, no way. She said she won't go to school during the summer. .... ok, one last try. I said we could start the contract over again for next year. Nope.

I am really disappointed that she doesn't even want to try. I guess this just shows me that she really doesn't want to work for it .... just wants it given to her.

Bottom line. She made her choice, no jeep.

You've made the right choice and are a good parent for doing so.

 

[xgsound]

Originally posted by: Plumcuda1
Well, I gave her a chance today to try and make this work so she could get the jeep. I gave her a few options.
If she got a 90 average for the last quarter she would have her B average. She flat out said that was impossible and couldn't do it. Next choice was summer school. Nope, no way. She said she won't go to school during the summer. .... ok, one last try. I said we could start the contract over again for next year. Nope.

I am really disappointed that she doesn't even want to try. I guess this just shows me that she really doesn't want to work for it .... just wants it given to her.

Bottom line. She made her choice, no jeep.

It sounds like you came up with reasonable options. I probably would have went for a B average in the last quarter, but we're on the same page. Of course she wants it given to her, and she'll continue to want that until she's sure that's impossible. It's a shame she's not ready to try YET! . That doesn't mean you quit trying to tempt her into adulthood with reasonable options, always at her choice. Try not to nag and wave your finger in her face (unless that works with her), but keep that jeep quietly on the table for next year or whenever she's willing to work for it.


Jim

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: Plumcuda1

Originally posted by: Insomniator
A D average in high school? Seriously? Take the car away and lock her in her room until she gets at minimum a C.

I don't know where she goes to school, but in my old high school and most Ive heard of, you literally have to do nothing and probably get suspended a few times
to end up with a D average.

Worst part is a D in gym class.....

ouch....

she broke contract, so you sue.

simple

 

[ShawnD1]

The only class I ever had a D in was English, and it was because I skipped literally half of the classes and I didn't read any of the assigned short stories.


The car/contract thing looks like a small issue. First find out why she is getting bad grades, then go through what is to be done about this. For all you know, she could be depressed, and taking the car away would just make it worse. The flip side is that she could be a snotty bitch when you're not around, in which case taking the car away is perfect.

Try talking to her teachers to get a feel for what she's like in class. Uppity = bitch, withdrawn = depressed. Eating all the time = pregnant

 

[tk149]

Originally posted by: Xstatic1
OMG!

u should be asking herself how she went from an honor student to a D student moreso than if u should give her a Jeep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! . obviously something happened where she's not even trying. a D average sounds like she's not doing her homework, and i wouldn't be surprised if she's even attending class. have u or her mother even tried contacting her teachers to find out what's really going on (like attendance, homework, participation)?

look at the bigger picture here. in 3 years time, she's supposed to be an "adult". do u think she's well on her way? have either of u even tried talking to her to find out what could possibly be troubling her?

one of the posts above mentions failing her as a parent. and the way it's looking, i'd say u're clearly headed there.

QFT

There's something else going on here, and it may not be just "teenage rebellion." Be a FATHER, and help your daughter by finding out what is going on.

Also, you made the right decision by not letting her have the jeep, and trying to negotiate another contract.

 

[Alistar7]

Originally posted by: Plumcuda1

Originally posted by: jdini76
Can I ask you this? If she got her grades up, but didn't pay the $1000, what would you do?

The money was stated as "up to $1000" so there was room for her to slide there. I wanted her to maintain the grades more than pay the money.

Did her grades slide during the priod she worked to make the money to pay what she agreed? If so I would cut her some slack and tell her the grades need to be where you agreed by the next report. If they are not I would still let her drive but only to school/work until the grade requirements are met.

The issues she is having in her relationship with her mother probably have little to do with you, nor will you likely have any effect. My advice would be to stay out of that mess and be a stable, supportive, loving, & compassionate parent. Remember if she has a fractured relationship with her mother you are her next best choice. Don't alienate her over the jeep and push her away, work with her and let her know you are there with her best interests at heart.