It's dark in here...

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
A wife takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.


The 9-year old son comes home early, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.


Unexpectedly, the woman's husband also comes home.
She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that
the little boy is already in there.


The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice"
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My Dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250"


Weeks later, it happens that the boy and the lover
find themselves in the closet again.


Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the
boy, "How much?"
Boy: "$750"
Man: "Sold"


A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, "Grab
your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."


The Dad asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy: "$1,000"
The Dad says, "That's terrible to rip off your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost I'm taking you to church, to confession."


In church, the Dad makes sure the boy goes in to the confessional and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again;
you're in my closet now.
 

Kirby64

Golden Member
Apr 24, 2006
1,485
0
76
I laughed, but not rofl. Still :thumbsup:

Edit: Might get more views if you added joke to the title
 

Iron Woode

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Oct 10, 1999
31,232
12,766
136
this one is better:

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor to give a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth,first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing"

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?"

The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get that darn jar open."
 

Kelemvor

Lifer
May 23, 2002
16,928
8
81
Heh heh. Nice one.

Second one I knew as soon as I got to the part of him trying with different hands.
 

BudAshes

Lifer
Jul 20, 2003
13,981
3,328
146
Originally posted by: Iron Woode
this one is better:

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor to give a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth,first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing"

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?"

The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get that darn jar open."

hehe
 

Goosemaster

Lifer
Apr 10, 2001
48,775
3
81
Originally posted by: Iron Woode
this one is better:

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor to give a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth,first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing"

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?"

The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get that darn jar open."

holy sh!T that was hilarious:laugh:
 
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