Joint Accounts with Spouse?

[OutHouse]

we have a joint account, i make the money for our family and she manages the money for the family and is good at it. having separate accounts in a marriage in my opinion is a sign of distrust.

 

[OutHouse]

Originally posted by: shilala
Here's how ours works...
I have a wife and two kids.
My paycheck goes into the only account there is.
That money goes toward taking care of our family.
My wife puts her paycheck into the only account we have.
That money goes toward taking care of the family.
She pays the bills.
I make more money than she does.
She works harder than I do.
When we want something, we buy it. If it's big, we discuss it. "Big" around here is anything over 100-200 bucks, I suppose.
If I have a pocketful of money and she doesn't have any, I give her some.
If she has a big wad of money and I'm out, she gives me some.

I guess the key is that when I got married, there wasn't any more "I".
It became "us".
The kids are just more of "us".

excellent post. this is exactly how we are as well.

 

[GasX]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
"Ever" - and there should be three accounts in a marriage - His, Hers, and Ours.

- M4H

We have exactly that. Everything we had before marriage is kept separately and is an individual asset. Everything we earn since is a joint asset.

 

[Homerboy]

Originally posted by: spidey07
Not having a joint account means you aren't really commited to the marriage IMHO.

"yeah I love you... until death do us part.... oh my money? Hell no thats mine" - dead right

Its so stupid and hipocritcal to get married yet keep your accounts seperate. It just shows that "your" money is more important to you than your spouse.

 

[GasX]

Originally posted by: KarenMarie
We do not have a joint account... but... every friday, the b/f comes home and hands me the paycheck in the still sealed envelope. he has no idea what is inside or how much he has in his personal account. I am in charge of his personal account and sign his name to everything.

i used to do the same with his business account, too, but recently had him sign the forms to allow me to legally sign my own name instad of illegally signing his.... the bank has issues with me signing his name even if it is with his permission and although our bank looked the other way all these years, they are now merging with another bank and chaning managment, so i felt it was best to be legit.

the b/f has no idea how much money we have, nor does he worry about it. as long as he can get cash out of the aTM whenever he wants, he lets me deal with all the money.

I can't decide if that is wholly irresponsible or a matter of absolute trust...

 

[Toasthead]

well it would make sense if you had no money and your spouse made all the cash

 

[Homerboy]

Originally posted by: ATLien247

Originally posted by: vi_edit

Originally posted by: shilala
Here's how ours works...
I have a wife and two kids.
My paycheck goes into the only account there is.
That money goes toward taking care of our family.
My wife puts her paycheck into the only account we have.
That money goes toward taking care of the family.
She pays the bills.
I make more money than she does.
She works harder than I do.
When we want something, we buy it. If it's big, we discuss it. "Big" around here is anything over 100-200 bucks, I suppose.
If I have a pocketful of money and she doesn't have any, I give her some.
If she has a big wad of money and I'm out, she gives me some.

I guess the key is that when I got married, there wasn't any more "I".
It became "us".
The kids are just more of "us".

:thumbsup:

:thumbsup:++

perfect

 

[waggy]

we have 3 checking accounts.

1) nearly everything goes in it. both of us are on it. we pay all bills and stuff out of it.
2-3) both of us have personal accounts for toys and such. neither ever has more then 500 in it. this just for when we go out and have fun. I use mine for online purchases. she uses hers for buying music etc. Big items come out of checking account #1 but we talk about before buying

we try to keep a budget. but i understand she needs to go out and have fun. I do not want to bounce anything important like the mortgage which is why 2-3 are there. my wife is on every account except accounts dealing with my inheritance i received before marriage.

It does not matter who makes more money. we both work very hard on keeping the family together and surviving. i couldn't see denying her anything (if reasonable) if we had the money to spare even though i have more money then she does.


A buddy of mine got married about 4 years ago. They kept all finances separate. She would transfer money over to his account to pay her share of the bills. they divorced a year latter.

 

[FoBoT]

Originally posted by: AccruedExpenditure
.. when is this ever a good idea?

to me the only reason it is a bad idea is if you are planning on getting divorced

if you are going to be married for 50 years, why have seperate accounts?

also, if one person stays home with children and doesn't have income for a significant time, then why would they have a seperate account with no money in it?

 

[Phoenix86]

Originally posted by: Mwilding

Originally posted by: KarenMarie
We do not have a joint account... but... every friday, the b/f comes home and hands me the paycheck in the still sealed envelope. he has no idea what is inside or how much he has in his personal account. I am in charge of his personal account and sign his name to everything.

i used to do the same with his business account, too, but recently had him sign the forms to allow me to legally sign my own name instad of illegally signing his.... the bank has issues with me signing his name even if it is with his permission and although our bank looked the other way all these years, they are now merging with another bank and chaning managment, so i felt it was best to be legit.

the b/f has no idea how much money we have, nor does he worry about it. as long as he can get cash out of the aTM whenever he wants, he lets me deal with all the money.

I can't decide if that is wholly irresponsible or a matter of absolute trust...

Depends on the outcome... In my case it wasn't very responsible, however given the option I would rather trust and fail than fail because I didn't trust.

 

[Ramma2]

Is there any reason to not have joint accounts?

 

[BriGy86]

have a joint account for bills and what not, but keep a personal one, unless you know you can trust them (which doesn't seem to be the case these days)

having a joint account makes it easy for you 2 to screw each other over

it really depends case by case

 

[GasX]

Originally posted by: BriGy86
have a joint account for bills and what not, but keep a personal one, unless you know you can trust them (which doesn't seem to be the case these days)

having a joint account makes it easy for you 2 to screw each other over

it really depends case by case

If you don't trust him/her don't get married...

 

[BriGy86]

Originally posted by: Mwilding

Originally posted by: BriGy86
have a joint account for bills and what not, but keep a personal one, unless you know you can trust them (which doesn't seem to be the case these days)

having a joint account makes it easy for you 2 to screw each other over

it really depends case by case

If you don't trust him/her don't get married...

it seems a lot of people don't grasp this strange new concept

on another note, im planning on buying a house with my sister, for house bills and what not were are going to be getting a joint account, and we will each put in a certain amount each month

 

[mugs]

We don't have a joint account... no reason not to, but we just haven't gotten around to it. We don't live paycheck to paycheck, and we consider all of it "our" money, so it doens't cause any issues. Just recently I wrote a check for her new car, but the check from the insurance company for her old (totalled) car is in her name - so a huge amount of money went from my account to hers... but who cares? It's all OUR money. I didn't lose anything. Whenever we go shopping or out to eat it goes on my card. All the household bills are paid out of her checking account. I could pay all of it for all I care, that's just more money she can save for US.

We don't have money issues because we're both very reasonable and sensible with our spending. She won't get pissed at me for spending a month's pay on a huge HDTV, because I never do anything like that. Any "major" purchases are usually made when we're together or with the other person's knowledge.

The only downside to having separate accounts is that neither of us really knows exactly how much money we have total. It's all spread between two ING Direct accounts, two checking acounts and a Scottrade account.

 

[codeyf]

Technically, we have 2 accounts, but in every aspect we have a joint account.

All money goes in to main account. Covers bills, entertainment, everything. The second account is just for the mortgage which comes out automatically. Basically, half of the mortgage is transferred from main account twice a month.

Unless you have cash flowin out your a$$, a joint account is crucial. It says a lot about your commitment to your spouse and marriage when you are able to talk to your spouse when there is something you are wanting to spend money on. -THIS DOES NOT MEAN ASKING PERMISSION- Just an open dialogue between the two of you.

It's a way of showing you put your spouse's wants/needs if not AHEAD of your own (where it should be), at the same level of your own.

 

[codeyf]

Originally posted by: MattCo

Originally posted by: shilala
Here's how ours works...
I have a wife and two kids.
My paycheck goes into the only account there is.
That money goes toward taking care of our family.
My wife puts her paycheck into the only account we have.
That money goes toward taking care of the family.
She pays the bills.
I make more money than she does.
She works harder than I do.
When we want something, we buy it. If it's big, we discuss it. "Big" around here is anything over 100-200 bucks, I suppose.
If I have a pocketful of money and she doesn't have any, I give her some.
If she has a big wad of money and I'm out, she gives me some.

I guess the key is that when I got married, there wasn't any more "I".
It became "us".
The kids are just more of "us".

Wow, rarely do I agree so completely with someone on ATOT. You just described my marrage.

Yes, just read this as well.

 

[ahurtt]

Originally posted by: BriGy86
have a joint account for bills and what not, but keep a personal one, unless you know you can trust them (which doesn't seem to be the case these days)

having a joint account makes it easy for you 2 to screw each other over

it really depends case by case

If you can't trust somebody you shouldn't be marrying them to begin with. . .
Maybe the reason we have so much divorce is because there are so many people who enter into marriage with your mentality. Why on earth would anybody want to commit their life to somebody they didn't trust 100%?

 

[ahurtt]

Originally posted by: Homerboy

Originally posted by: ATLien247

Originally posted by: vi_edit

Originally posted by: shilala
Here's how ours works...
I have a wife and two kids.
My paycheck goes into the only account there is.
That money goes toward taking care of our family.
My wife puts her paycheck into the only account we have.
That money goes toward taking care of the family.
She pays the bills.
I make more money than she does.
She works harder than I do.
When we want something, we buy it. If it's big, we discuss it. "Big" around here is anything over 100-200 bucks, I suppose.
If I have a pocketful of money and she doesn't have any, I give her some.
If she has a big wad of money and I'm out, she gives me some.

I guess the key is that when I got married, there wasn't any more "I".
It became "us".
The kids are just more of "us".

:thumbsup:

:thumbsup:++

perfect

:thumbsup:
As it should be.

 

[BriGy86]

Originally posted by: ahurtt

Originally posted by: BriGy86
have a joint account for bills and what not, but keep a personal one, unless you know you can trust them (which doesn't seem to be the case these days)

having a joint account makes it easy for you 2 to screw each other over

it really depends case by case

If you can't trust somebody you shouldn't be marrying them to begin with. . .
Maybe the reason we have so much divorce is because there are so many people who enter into marriage with your mentality. Why on earth would anybody want to commit their life to somebody they didn't trust 100%?

i never said i would marry some one i didn't trust, i was trying to say that many people these days marry others just on a whim (see previous post(s)), or just make stupid, yet obvious mistakes

its not really MY mentality, i've just noticed it about others

 

[acemcmac]

I don't want to think about financials with my girlfriend. All she does is talk about spending money on sh!t we don't need and she's prone 2-3k a year in needless clothes buying binges (I dont know if that's high for a college senior). She hates that I don't mind buying things like projectors, video cards and good tires even if it means tightening my belt for 6-8 weeks, probably because it means I'll take her out to dinner less, etc. Neihter of us have ever carried a CC balance, but that's because she always has her parents to bail her out. I've been financially independant for years now.

I decided the other day that I should never have to compromise on my anti-SUV beliefs and I have resolved that if a penny of my or my household's money ever has to buy an SUV, I'd rather be divorced. I'd rather drive an economy car the rest of my life instead of any of the little sports cars I lust after (the miata) rather than have to give in on something like that... but what kind of a way to live life is that if you can so easily afford it?

This whole topic is very depressing for me. I don't know how I'll ever be able to make it work

 

[Need4Speed]

Originally posted by: shilala
Here's how ours works...
I have a wife and two kids.
My paycheck goes into the only account there is.
That money goes toward taking care of our family.
My wife puts her paycheck into the only account we have.
That money goes toward taking care of the family.
She pays the bills.
I make more money than she does.
She works harder than I do.
When we want something, we buy it. If it's big, we discuss it. "Big" around here is anything over 100-200 bucks, I suppose.
If I have a pocketful of money and she doesn't have any, I give her some.
If she has a big wad of money and I'm out, she gives me some.

I guess the key is that when I got married, there wasn't any more "I".
It became "us".
The kids are just more of "us".

thats how it works at our house. we have always had just the one account and it has never been a problem.

 

[Superself]

Originally posted by: shilala
Here's how ours works...
I have a wife and two kids.
My paycheck goes into the only account there is.
That money goes toward taking care of our family.
My wife puts her paycheck into the only account we have.
That money goes toward taking care of the family.
She pays the bills.
I make more money than she does.
She works harder than I do.
When we want something, we buy it. If it's big, we discuss it. "Big" around here is anything over 100-200 bucks, I suppose.
If I have a pocketful of money and she doesn't have any, I give her some.
If she has a big wad of money and I'm out, she gives me some.

I guess the key is that when I got married, there wasn't any more "I".
It became "us".
The kids are just more of "us".

This is how we handle it too...verbatim.

 

[jjones]

We started out with separate accounts because we were both the independent type, but that only lasted maybe a couple of years. It's easier just having a joint account. Whether or not it's a good idea or bad idea is dependent upon the persons involved; for us it is a good idea.

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: Ornery
WTF would you have separate ANYTHING after marriage? WTF is the point of being married, if you're going to have separate accounts etc.? Absolutely ludicrous.

My wife has handled all the bills since the beginning. There's no way I'd even marry somebody who was irresponsible with money. If she didn't take care of the bills, then I would. One or the other, but not both.

:thumbsup:

Joint accounts are completely practical. Anything I don't have his name on yet he has access to anyway, and he's got a complete power of attorney so he can get into anything he wants to even if I'm not available to sign.

Trust HAS to be part of marriage, including financials. What kind of marriage do you have otherwise?