Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to the Large Hadron Collider.
Caution: The Large Hadron Collider may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
The Large Hadron Collider contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
Do not use the Large Hadron Collider on concrete.
Discontinue use of the Large Hadron Collider if any of the following occurs:
* itching
* vertigo
* dizziness
* tingling in extremities
* loss of balance or coordination
* slurred speech
* temporary blindness
* profuse sweating
* or heart palpitations.
If the Large Hadron Collider begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
The Large Hadron Collider may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, the Large Hadron Collider should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of the Large Hadron Collider, the scientific community, and its parent company, the military-industrial complex, of any and all liability.
Ingredients of the Large Hadron Collider include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
The Large Hadron Collider has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
Do not taunt the Large Hadron Collider.
The Large Hadron Collider comes with a lifetime warranty.