Long distance relatioships:

[desiplaya4life]

like being in different cities. there is this girl that goes to another university. we just met and we both hit off and like each other. every time this issue comes up that we are 3-4hrs apart. im scared and debating whether its worth it?


any experiences/stories and how you deal with DRIVING and meeting? Lol

 

[Imyourzero]

Did it before. Twice. Wish I hadn't.

 

[desiplaya4life]

well share your experience damnit. lol

 

[Eli]

I was in a long distance relationship with my now ex-girlfriend for the first 9 months or so of our 4 year relationship.

uh, before I would have said something like "It's hard, but if you're both committed then there is no reason why it can't work."

but I'm not sure what to say now.

 

[ironcrotch]

LDR's rarely work... I was in one for a couple years, loved her with all my heart. But the distance was too much.

 

[desiplaya4life]

so because of driving you quit seeing each other? lol . call me sappy but for true love i am willing to do anything. but i am not going to be happy on me just making all the efforts when it comes to driving and seeing each other. she has said yea she will offcourse drive and meet me.


if you know texas( who doesnt lol) i live in college station and she lives in san antonio. but good thing is we are from Houston.

now another bad thing is. she is persian (iranian) and i am also muslim. so spending time at each others house would be impossible because of our parents.

 

[Imyourzero]

Originally posted by: desiplaya4life
well share your experience damnit. lol

Well, the first one was short lived; she cheated on me with her ex-BF who lived near her.

The second one wasn't much better. It lasted longer, and we drove 2.5 hrs back and forth to see each other. But I suspected that she cheated on me with her ex-BF who (you guessed it) had an apartment near her dorm.

In my experience, it's just not worth the worrying and heartache. Even if the two of you manage to be faithful, it sucks not being able to see each other often. I've seen my GF almost every day for the past 18 months and we wouldn't want it any other way. But hey, everyone is different. Maybe it's something you need to experience for yourself, but the vast majority of these relationships fail... :brokenheart:

 

[SNiPeRX]

I might be in the same boat with you soon. I will be getting my bases selection soon for the AF and I will be gone. My girl is currently in med school in SC and still has 2 more years here. I am sure it will be hard, but I also believe if its ment to be its ment to be. Just keep the communication open and make the best of the time you have together. I have talked to a lot of people about this type of situation. Some have said it made their relationship stronger, when others have said it fell apart. Don't let space stop you...

 

[desiplaya4life]

yea sniper i believe one who believes in it can make it thru. some strive thru some are just unlucky. i wanna be the one to prove everybody wrong about this. i wanna cater her to her needs. i just hope she is faithful which in return is my responsibilty as well to keep her happy

 

[mrrman]

would never do it...to much hassle

 

[Sphexi]

I've known my wife over 7 years now, she lives on the west coast, I'm on the east (for now). We've been "together" a little over two years, unofficially, got married this summer. I'm just waiting on a few things to go through before I move out there, it's tough but we handle it. I'm an extremely patient guy, and even though she's not quite as patient, she's willing to put up with the distance since she knows I'll be out there as soon as I can.

Oh, her being pregnant helps a bit too

 

[LookingGlass]

It can work for awhile. If you can't be together on a regular basis. The distance will kill it eventually. For people that aren't in college, and can move around. You'll get to a point where a decision has to be made. It's either you'll break it off eventually, or one of you will move, to be with the other, plain as that. I have done it, and it does work. Depends on the couple.

 

[SaturnX]

Well when I met my current gf, we were about 3.5 hours apart, it actually went pretty well, stayed in touch through phone and IMs, and I'd go visit just about every second week, it worked great for about 2 months that time, and over the past summer we were about 1hr apart and worked great, it's all because of Co-Op that we're together for 4 months, and then who knows how far apart the next 4 months, but we've managed it.

--Mark

 

[BD2003]

In general, Ive found the only people capable of keeping up long term long distance relationships are those that are so desperate, ugly or undesireable that they have so little chance of finding someone else, and so much feeling that theyll never do any better, that theyll stay together throughout anything.

 

[Patt]

If you're really committed, it can work. If you just met the girl, it might be tough, because there isn't an established level of trust/committment. I've been there once before, and ended up calling it off because of some, ahem, indiscretions on her part. Her room-mate called me, and told me a guy was sleeping over often, in my supposed-gf's room. When confronted, she claimed it was purely platonic, but yes, they slept in the same bed. I replied that it wasn't good enough for me, and thanked her for the good times, and have a good life. We didn't know each other too well when the separation happened, and so there wasn't an established base of trust, so I couldn't do it. Hope that helps?

 

[bigrash]

Most long distance relationships dont work. Specially if you're young and you're in two different colleges

 

[bigrash]

dp

 

[RandomFool]

I'm about 8 hours away from my gf during the school year. We've ben doing it for 3 years now. It sucks being so far away but I love her so it's worth it. I spend alot of time talking on the phone with here and make as many trips home as i can.

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: desiplaya4life
so because of driving you quit seeing each other? lol . call me sappy but for true love i am willing to do anything. but i am not going to be happy on me just making all the efforts when it comes to driving and seeing each other. she has said yea she will offcourse drive and meet me.

if you know texas( who doesnt lol) i live in college station and she lives in san antonio. but good thing is we are from Houston.

now another bad thing is. she is persian (iranian) and i am also muslim. so spending time at each others house would be impossible because of our parents.

If it was driving or family issues, but not both, I'd say go for it. Since it is both, I'd say you're doomed. Love is not enough to overcome this big of a hurdle when you don't have each other to rely on on a daily basis.

But I also realize you're young enough to do what you've already made up your mind to do, so you may have to learn the hard way. Good luck with that.

 

[mitmot]

Try doing it with someone halfway across the world...

No, they don't work.

 

[blahter]

Originally posted by: bigrash
Most long distance relationships dont work. Specially if you're young and you're in two different colleges

 

[LookingGlass]

Originally posted by: BD2003
In general, Ive found the only people capable of keeping up long term long distance relationships are those that are so desperate, ugly or undesireable that they have so little chance of finding someone else, and so much feeling that theyll never do any better, that theyll stay together throughout anything.

In general for you maybe, that is not always the case. That is a pretty stupid thing to say, very narrow minded. :disgust: That people are so desperate, and ugly, that is their only option, maye for some, not for all, we all have options.
Have you ever thought maybe they really connected. And they just like each other? They can find other people closer to them, but, they choose not to.

 

[purbeast0]

done it before, didnt work out in the long run.

my mom did it as well, didnt work out in the long run.

its not worth the effort IMO. i did it for a long time while my GF was in college, and it was the reason we broke up in the long run. we just lost something in the distance we had between us and the time we spent apart. it just isn't worth it.

find a relationship with someone close to you whom you can always be with.

EDIT: oh and by the way, we were both 100% faithful to eachother. feelings just kinda dwindled away.

 

[ColdFusion718]

Unless you know without a hint of doubt that you are absolutely, deeply in love with this girl (and she with you), don't do it. Please spare yourself of the potential heartache.

You sound like a hopeless romantic, just like me many moons ago. Perhaps you won't understand what some of us are saying unless you experience this yourself. So it's a moot point in trying to persuade you otherwise. Sounds like you need to experience this first hand.

I'll share with you my personal experience. This happened approximately 2 years ago. I dated this girl for almost 5 years, so yeah all of college. We were very much in love. In fact, we even got engaged. I was getting ready to move once I graduated from college so I could be with her. Well, six months before that happened, we got into a fight one night and I later found out that she went out with some guy (her so called friend that she met at a wedding a 2 months prior).

Actually, they've known each other for the better part of a year. I know she loved me, but eventually the distance and loneliness got to her. That's not to say what she did was right, but in a way, I do understand (she's still a bitch for what she did to me).

In the end, I was the one who lost. Hell, I even turned down an internship with Intel for that woman. You have to decide what you are willing to give up. If you are willing to give up everything (like I did), but things don't work out, just remember that you made a choice and it is one you have to live with.

Good luck, man.

 

[jessicak]

I tried it once. We were together for about 9 months before he had to leave for school, so I trusted him completely. It worked out just fine for a while, especially since we were able to see each other at least once a month. I never really had a problem with it, but it didn't really work out in the end. It would have been nice if it did because he would have been home for the summer anyway. So to answer the question, eh I guess they can work. In my case, we made it last for a while. Who knows, if we were actually able to see each other it's difficult to say whether or not it would have lasted the same amount of time, more time or less time.