My friend 'hates' God.

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Howard

Lifer
Oct 14, 1999
47,982
10
81
Originally posted by: LordMaul
Originally posted by: Howard
I've reasoned, debating, and had nightmares for a literal eternity - for as far as I know, my life has been forever in existence - and I still ain't got a damn opinion.

However, LordMaul isn't being as reasonable as he usually is.

Are you saying I'm normally reasonable?

Damn, I guess I need to make my posts more clear.
There was the roll eyes, damn it.

Damn! I am SO not used to seeing Howard under my avatar...
 

Salvador

Diamond Member
May 19, 2001
7,058
0
71
Uh, yeah. We're so arrogant. We're not as good as you athiests. Not anywhere near as smart. You athiests really got it going for you, especially when compared to us lowlife religious people. Eh?
Why is it that Atheists or Agnostics never want to force their "religion" on you, but there are always door to door religious folks trying to shove their religion down someone elses throats? I really wish the bible huggers would keep their "faith" to themeselves. If I want to be "saved", I know where to go. I just have to look for the big buildings with the crosses on them.

I've always wondered about this. When I watch a basketball or football game and the opponent on one side says that it was the will of "god" that let him win. Well.. The guy on the other team was hoping that god would be on his side as well, so what happened? Did "god" take sides? Do you think "god" is a betting man/woman?

Sal
 

Athlon4all

Diamond Member
Jun 18, 2001
5,416
0
76
The guy on the other team was hoping that god would be on his side as well, so what happened? Did "god" take sides? Do you think "god" is a betting man/woman?
Romans 8:28 says that "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." God is in control, and this verse shows that God will work things that happen for the good of those who love him (pressumably those who believe in Jesus as their savior), not necessary those who don't love him. This doesn't mean he doesn't bless unbelievers, he actually wants to bless all his children, like a father does with his children but belivers recieve a higher blessing here on earth, plus the blessing of living for all eternity in heaven with God.
I really wish the bible huggers would keep their "faith" to themeselves. If I want to be "saved", I know where to go. I just have to look for the big buildings with the crosses on them.
But we can't, nbot only do we personally wnat everyone to know the good news and that there is hope!!!!!!!!! But also, Jesus' very last words as a human, after his ressurection were to his disciples "All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world."(Matthew 28:18-20). Jesus has commanded us to preach the gospel
Quite so. Christians pushing their beliefs on someone is the FIRST way to make them hate god.
See my response to the last quote
there is no god

and no jesus

people who believe are stupid.
I guarantee you will realize how wrong you are during the Tribulation and at the Glorious appearing of Jesus Christ here on earth
Do you really think you can change someones religious belief's with logic?
Exactley, this isn't about logic, truth be told, this not really man's fight, this is a fight between Satan and his demons against God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and thheir Angels. The human race is simply pawns of both sides, the question is which side are you on? God will come out on top, and he gives us Love and so much more, human words can't even explain it. Repent of your sins and accept Jesus!!!!!! I'm begging you all!!!!!
 

datalink7

Lifer
Jan 23, 2001
16,765
6
81
This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first:

John:
"Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."
Mary:
Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me:
"Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss His ass?"
John:
"If you kiss Hank's ass, He'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, He'll kick the Sh!t out of you."
Me:
"What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?"
John:
"Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever he wants, and what He wants is to give you a million dollars, but He can't until you kiss his ass."
Me:
"That doesn't make any sense. Why..."
Mary:
"Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?"
Me:
"Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."
John:
"Then come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me:
"Do you kiss Hank's ass often?"
Mary:
"Oh yes, all the time..."
Me:
"And has He given you a million dollars?"
John:
"Well no. You don't actually get the money until you leave town."
Me:
"So why don't you just leave town now?"
Mary:
"You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and He kicks the Sh!t out of you."
Me:
"Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's ass, left town, and got the million dollars?"
John:
"My mother kissed Hank's ass for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money."
Me:
"Haven't you talked to her since then?"
John:
"Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it."
Me:
"So what makes you think He'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?"
Mary:
"Well, he gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty-dollar bill on the street."
Me:
"What's that got to do with Hank?"
John:
"Hank has certain 'connections.'"
Me:
"I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game."
John:
"But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's ass He'll kick the Sh!t of you."
Me:
"Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to Him, get the details straight from him..."
Mary:
"No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank."
Me:
"Then how do you kiss His ass?"
John:
"Sometimes we just blow Him a kiss, and think of His ass. Other times we kiss Karl's ass, and he passes it on."
Me:
"Who's Karl?"
Mary:
"A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's ass. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times."
Me:
"And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss His ass, and that Hank would reward you?"
John:
"Oh no! Karl has a letter he got from Hank years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself."

From the desk of Karl
1 Kiss Hank's ass and He'll give you a million dollars when you leave town.
2 Use alcohol in moderation.
3 Kick the Sh!t out of people who aren't like you.
4 Eat right.
5 Hank dictated this list Himself.
6 The moon is made of green cheese.
7 Everything Hank says is right.
8 Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
9 Don't use alcohol.
10 Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments.
11 Kiss Hank's ass or He'll kick the Sh!t out of you.

Me:
"This appears to be written on Karl's letterhead."
Mary:
"Hank didn't have any paper."
Me:
"I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting."
John:
"Of course, Hank dictated it."
Me:
"I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?"
Mary:
"Not now, but years ago He would talk to some people."
Me:
"I thought you said He was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist kicks the Sh!t out of people just because they're different?"
Mary:
"It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right."
Me:
"How do you figure that?"
Mary:
"Item 7 says 'Everything Hank says is right.' That's good enough for me!"
Me:
"Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up."
John:
"No way! Item 5 says 'Hank dictated this list himself.' Besides, item 2 says 'Use alcohol in moderation,' Item 4 says 'Eat right,' and item 8 says 'Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.' Everyone knows those things are right, so the rest must be true, too."
Me:
"But 9 says 'Don't use alcohol.' which doesn't quite go with item 2, and 6 says 'The moon is made of green cheese,' which is just plain wrong."
John:
"There's no contradiction between 9 and 2, 9 just clarifies 2. As far as 6 goes, you've never been to the moon, so you can't say for sure."
Me:
"Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of rock..."
Mary:
"But they don't know if the rock came from the Earth, or from out of space, so it could just as easily be green cheese."
Me:
"I'm not really an expert, but I think the theory that the Moon was somehow 'captured' by the Earth has been discounted. Besides, not knowing where the rock came from doesn't make it cheese."
John:
"Ha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank is always right!"
Me:
"We do?"
Mary:
"Of course we do, Item 7 says so."
Me:
"You're saying Hank's always right because the list says so, the list is right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the list says so. That's circular logic, no different than saying 'Hank's right because He says He's right.'"
John:
"Now you're getting it! It's so rewarding to see someone come around to Hank's way of thinking."
Me:
"But...oh, never mind. What's the deal with wieners?"
Mary:
She blushes.
John:
"Wieners, in buns, no condiments. It's Hank's way. Anything else is wrong."
Me:
"What if I don't have a bun?"
John:
"No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong."
Me:
"No relish? No Mustard?"
Mary:
She looks positively stricken.
John:
He's shouting. "There's no need for such language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!"
Me:
"So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be out of the question?"
Mary:
Sticks her fingers in her ears. ?I am not listening to this. La la la, la la, la la la."
John:
"That's disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that..."
Me:
"It's good! I eat it all the time."
Mary:
She faints.
John:
He catches Mary. "Well, if I'd known you where one of those I wouldn't have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the Sh!t out of you I'll be there, counting my money and laughing. I'll kiss Hank's ass for you, you bunless cut-wienered kraut-eater."
With this, John dragged Mary to their waiting car, and sped off.
 

chemwiz

Senior member
Mar 8, 2000
848
1
81
Datalink7, did you write that yourself? GREAT job, says it all. I passed it on to a bunch of people.
 

datalink7

Lifer
Jan 23, 2001
16,765
6
81
Originally posted by: chemwiz
Datalink7, did you write that yourself? GREAT job, says it all. I passed it on to a bunch of people.

Unfortunately, I cannot say that I did. I think it was posted on the board a while back, and I saved it. Don't know who wrote it though.

I love it though
 
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