My HONEST thoughts on marriage

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: Tiamat
Some men are destined to be bachelors. You seem to be one of them. There isn't anything wrong with that either.

Until you get into your 30s anyway...and if you reach 40 and are still a bachelor you might as well tattoo a big L on your forehead because you aren't going to get any hot chicks at that point unless you have gobs of money in which case none of them will give a crap about who you are as a person. In other words, you failed at life.

 

[Carmen813]

I guess to each his own, but if attraction is all that matters to you, then I have to think you haven't yet met someone who knocks you off your feet. When that happens, looks won't matter.

Here's a picture of my and my fiancee.
http://www.active.com/donate/tntmi/tntmiBVeit

Don't she look great? We were both 20 years old at the time of that picture, and had been engaged for a week before she was diagnosed with Leukemia. Needless to say, that was one of the "better" pictures from that period in our lives. Did I care what she looked like on the outside? Nope, and I still made sure she knew I was still attracted to her and wanted to be with her. I really hope you get to experience that kind of closeness someday.

 

[dyn2nvu]

If you feel like you're going to cheat, do not get married!! Go out, have fun and don't get attached.
When you do feel like settling down, get a prenup!

 

[DrPizza]

OP:

This thread, and the thread where you pretty much state that insurance is a dumb idea...

Are you really 24? You don't act like it. I'm guessing 14 or 15. Either that, or you are really really naive about the world.

 

[91TTZ]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: Tiamat
Some men are destined to be bachelors. You seem to be one of them. There isn't anything wrong with that either.

Until you get into your 30s anyway...and if you reach 40 and are still a bachelor you might as well tattoo a big L on your forehead because you aren't going to get any hot chicks at that point unless you have gobs of money in which case none of them will give a crap about who you are as a person. In other words, you failed at life.

So one is a loser if they're not married by their 30's/40's? That's news to me.

 

[Bryophyte]

Originally posted by: DrPizza
OP:

This thread, and the thread where you pretty much state that insurance is a dumb idea...

Are you really 24? You don't act like it. I'm guessing 14 or 15. Either that, or you are really really naive about the world.

In this thread: http://forums.anandtech.com/messageview...atid=38&threadid=2050463&enterthread=y he says he has a girlfriend, but no friends. Hmm.

 

[realEZE]

Originally posted by: Alphathree33There are several "solutions" in my mind:
-- Marriage just isn't for me
-- I could attempt to remove all younger women from my life when I get older so that I don't even remember what it's like to feel attracted to a girl, but this seems silly
-- I could go through a cycle of marriages and divorces with really good pre-nups?

I *DO* want the family experience. I want to be settled and have kids and be married and have all of those things. But I also KNOW for a fact that I am never *fully* satisfied unless I have a hot young woman in my life.

There's nothing wrong here. Do what you want, it's your life.

Your plan is great, unless you happen to fall in love. That is, with someone other than yourself (sorry couldn't resist... this is ATOT)

 

[Patt]

Originally posted by: Roguestar
Cliffs?

In before OP dies alone.

:laugh: Thanks for the laugh.

 

[ViviTheMage]

you will be one creepy old man

 

[dr150]

Alphathree33,
Your current way of thinking will sooner or later get you into trouble (i.e. lonely).

It's fine to date, but eventually you'll lose your looks and you won't get the women you used to.....unless you think being a sugardaddy is "love".


On the other hand, marriage/aging does definitely lessen the sex impulse.....sooner or later. It's a fact of life. You'll eventually have to come to terms that marriage is A LOT MORE about companionship than about looks or sex. Though some immature married guys do go through their "mid-life crisis" by trying to recapture their youth through cheating, etc.

You'll have time to mature and evolve your thoughts in one way or the other.

You could be the rare loner type that's comfortable being single for life and enjoy it due to the multititude of activities you do. Then again, you could be the "crazy uncle" that tries to drink himself out of loneliness during the holidays. After all, humans are social animals and need companionship to "survive". Studies even prove that married people do indeed live longer.

Either way, at least rejoice in the fact that you're a guy and can have children/family later in life. If you're a woman, the decision to delay things (marriage, children) is a lot more "dangerous".

 

[topslop1]

Nah man keep gunning for it - you got a definite chance - just like the rest of us. Money makes all things possible. MARRY MONEY, and then have an affair with a woman - that's my goal and what I'm shooting for in my life.

 

[undeclared]

I have a very simple solution for you.
For now, have fun, meet lots of hot chicks, have some good times.

When you're ready, start dating girls who have the right qualities for you to be able to make it something a lot bigger.

To everyone who says things like: "Your attitude will one day fail and you'll be lonely" or similar things, I think I read that once or twice..

That's not true, but if you believe it you will plan it in your head and make it happen

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: topslop1
Nah man keep gunning for it - you got a definite chance - just like the rest of us. Money makes all things possible. MARRY MONEY, and then have an affair with a woman - that's my goal and what I'm shooting for in my life.

don't be too shocked when the monied wife aims to "shoot" you,nobody likes being used or played for a fool.

 

[undeclared]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: topslop1
Nah man keep gunning for it - you got a definite chance - just like the rest of us. Money makes all things possible. MARRY MONEY, and then have an affair with a woman - that's my goal and what I'm shooting for in my life.

don't be too shocked when the monied wife aims to "shoot" you,nobody likes being used or played for a fool.

hahaha oh my god, high five or something

On the ratio of men who do this to women who do this, I think it'd be like, uh, 1 million women to 1 guy ratio?

 

[patentman]

Originally posted by: Alphathree33
A lot of my friends are getting married. And that's great -- I'm really happy for them. All of us are approaching "that stage" in our lives where we're supposed to become Boring Old Guys (TM), buy a house and have kids.

But there is something that I simply cannot come to terms with, and it is really shallow, but it is also the truth.

I've become accustomed to dating attractive girls -- you know, thin, nice skin, nice hair. Not supermodels, but 8s and 9s.

That's the *primary* thing that attracts me to a woman. Once a girl has that, then other things DEFINITELY come into play: are they sweet? caring? active? interesting?

But WITHOUT that primary attraction, none of those other things matter.

A fact of life is that women get old and they loose their looks. There's nothing that can be done to prevent it. Another fact of life is that marriage is supposed to be forever. I know that isn't the case in reality, but I also couldn't possibly go forward PLANNING to divorce.

Now, I know a lot of people say they get married and they've never been happier.

But she will get older and then I will no longer be attracted to her. I've never met a woman over 35 that I have the slightest bit of attraction for.

I wish I could *choose* otherwise, but unfortunately it's built into my biology.

There's that old quote from the 70-year-old man who likes 19-year-old girls: "When I was 19, I preferred 19-year-old girls. My preferences simply haven't changed since."

I don't expect my desires to change.

I'm not denying the value of a life-long partner. But I might as well just move in with my best friend and get the same effect -- seriously. We can adopt kids and watch movies together, just without the cuddling.

There are several "solutions" in my mind:
-- Marriage just isn't for me
-- I could attempt to remove all younger women from my life when I get older so that I don't even remember what it's like to feel attracted to a girl, but this seems silly
-- I could go through a cycle of marriages and divorces with really good pre-nups?

I *DO* want the family experience. I want to be settled and have kids and be married and have all of those things. But I also KNOW for a fact that I am never *fully* satisfied unless I have a hot young woman in my life.

As a married man all I can say is that eventually you may come to realize that there is more to life than perky boobs and casual sex. Once you find the right woman, you will be attracted to her for a whole lot more than just the way she looks. I would strongly encourage you not to get married and have kids "just" so you can have the "family experience." I think you are being very honest with yourself in saying that you may not be satisfied if the woman on your arm isn't a supermodel. If that is truly the cas,e than marriage just isn't for you. In my case, my wife is not the gold standard of hotness that the media portrays, but she is darn cute. But beyond that, when I look at her I see a future of happiness, warmth, companionship, humor, and family. To me that is worth far more than physical looks.

Also, while it may be difficult to believe, men lose their looks as well. I used to be muscular and athletic, but time takes it's toll on everyone, including you.

 

[Ackmed]

Wow, how sad. First you claim it to be your opinion, then post things as facts.

Here is a fact, you're going to get less attractive as you get older, not just her. Another fact is, not all women get fat as they get older and have kids. My wife is 32, and we've had two kids. She weighs less now, than when we first got married, over 12 years ago.

People against marriage will never know what its like to be married, and totally in love with someone. Living with someone isnt the same thing.

I dont know why you assume you'er going to get pretty 19 year olds when you get older, heavier, grayer, wrinkled, and just less attractive. Unless you're very well off, dont count on it. But hey, post a pic so we can all make that judgment.