Need some personal advice

[forouza1]

guys and gals help me out.


Here is my situation:

My ex and I broke up 2 months ago. We didn't get along. She was way really sensitive person and emotionally labile. (As many women are mind you whoever this was kinda extreme).

Well I come to find out that some very bad things happened to her when she was very young that would be prosecuted under our laws under than it was her brother that did this to her.

So I guess I found out where much of this insecurity was coming from. Well she is having an extremely hard time dealing with this past that she has just acknowledged. She is crying alot and she has talked about how she feels abandoned by her family and feels like commiting suicide. This is very serious but I didn't find out about the suicide thing until today.

Here is the real problem:

She came and stayed with me the other night as we are trying to be friends and she wanted to get away from the situation. Well, one thing led to another and we hooked up. See my problem! It was definetly casual but now it's starting to bother me. She is coming over tomorrow likely and I'm worried that if I tell her I don't want it and I just want to be a friend to her that she will get extremely mad seeing as the condition she is in.

How do walk this fine line?

 

[glen]

Don't worry.
You'll probably date about 30 more just like her, at least I did.
Just relaxe and try to treat her with kindness and enjoy the hook ups.

 

[John]

Pics?

Just listen to what she has to say, and comfort her.

 

[forouza1]

Am I wrong for feeling like I just want to hook up? especially in this situation. She is not mentally sound right now.

 

[gopunk]

heh, well you could be a nice guy and not hook up with her.... that depends on your set of morals though.

 

[Nitemare]

Just make sure she knows that you are just her friend now who likes to hook up with her occasionally...


Go with it...she probably needs you as a friend...and your jr. probably appreciates the company as well..

Sounds to me like she has nobody else, might want to suggest she get involved in som groups or something..

 

[forouza1]

Well she seems like she has got a many friends to support her and she is seeing a psychologist.

 

[CobaltGrC]

Yeah the best thing to do is listen to what she has to say and try to make her feel better in that moment. I had a girlfriend like this.. .. ick.. yeah it didn't go to well. It ended with me not being able to take it anymore, dumping her, then she turned around and started going out with my paranoid friend. Ofcourse, I'm a b*stard, and I still fool around with her from time to time.. yay.. so um.. good luck!

 

[amnesiac]

Do yourself AND her a huge favor and NOT hook up with her. Be there for her, listen to her problems. Don't get more involved than necessary.
Messing with her head by feigning interest (which is exactly what you'll be doing when you hook up) is an atrocious thing to do to a person in this kind of mental state.

If she gets mad when you say you don't want anything physical, that's fine. It's for the greater good. Just let her know that you'll always be there as her friend should she need a shoulder to cry on (please, please only say this if you mean it...)

*edit*

Jerks like some of the guys here are the reasons why so many girls are f**ked up in the head. Trust me as someone who's been on BOTH sides of the line when I say that taking advantage of her fragile condition makes you NO BETTER than her brother.

 

[forouza1]

Yes I agree.

The only thing that I'm having trouble dealing with is the intimate feeling that we used to share coming back and not letting that interfere with me helping her and caring for her.

The other is that the when we hooked up I swear I didn't bring it up. She actually brought it up and said that she was feeling stressed and couldn't sleep and just wanted to @#@!.

I know she knows what's best for her but I think what is best for me is to play it cool and just be there for her.

I just got to deal with the above two if she wants anything from me.

 

[Anghang]

definitely don't hook up with her because you feel sorry for her...she needs to iron out her issues, be a listening ear and support her, but suggest that she get some help, she's obviously scarred and will need an objective ear to hear her out as well as give unbiased advice on how to carry on with her life...sounds like she needs to go to a therapist, they're experts in the subjectmatter and are unbiased in their advice...

i hope your friend can overcome the wrongs that have been done against her, i too know some people that have gone through your friend's situation and they of course are trying to deal with the issue...its so terrible that such people exist in this world that can do such despicable acts, even more so when its a family member!!! it totally pisses me off :|...ok...i'm starting to rant so i'll stop here...

good luck to your friend and keep us updated...

edit: oops, just read that she is already seeing a psychologist...good for her, hope things are going well...

 

[forouza1]

Thanks guys for the advice.

Me go to bed soon.