If it weren't against the general guidelines to make a parody thread, I would have made one that went like this:
lmao, he sure showed us!
Nieman Marcus customer rant
So, this customer was wandering around our store for an hour and a half. We ended up having the plainclothes security keeping an eye on him; he looked pretty suspicious. Finally, he picked up a vase and brought it to the register. I went through the usual lines that we're supposed to say, "will you be charging it to your N.M. card today? Would you like to apply for one?" He said "no" to each one, so I proceded to ring him up.
Well, then this fool pulls out a VISA card. "I'm sorry sir, we don't accept VISA; we only take cash, check, or AMEX." I don't know how shoppers miss this on the door as they enter (or rather, how they miss the AMEX sign.) Every store I've been to his little decals on the windows of the door with which credit cards they accept.
Well, this guy looks really embarassed now. He pulls out a handful of credit cards and says, "look, I've got a bunch of credit cards. I just don't want to use any of the other ones. I want to use my VISA card and the customer is always right, so ring it up on my VISA card now!" I thought he was going to start stomping his feet on the floor like a little three year old at that point. All the other customers in the area were staring at him. I tried to apologize, but he insisted that if we didn't ring it up on his VISA card, he wasn't going to buy it. If you ask me, all his other cards were probably maxxed out, but he was trying to save face in front of his girlfriend.
Oh well, eventually he gave up and stormed out of our door. He sure showed us!