I'm hell-bent on believing nothing matters in life and/or death. I've really shifted to the beliefs of a nihilist lately. I can't see any meaning in anything anymore: success, failure, living, dying, pain and pleasure. Am I the only person who sees this? Everyone goes about life as if they're serving some divine purpose. After they die, the earth will still rotate and orbit, nothing changes. (Read Ecclesiastes) My psychologist ignores me when I ask these questions and he thinks they're just a side effect from being depressed about my family. I assure you that this affects me much more than my family. I think he believes that once my family problems are solved I will return to conformity and these thoughts will never bother me again.
This has affected my life so much lately that the only thing I will do is sleep. I don't want to deal with reality so I just fall asleep for as long as I can and when I've slept all I can, I'll stare at the ceiling until I fall asleep again. This is the rare occasion that I'll venture to my computer to visit Anandtech because this is my favorite site and I guess one of the only things I live for (Ha). So my standards have fallen in life. My goal in life is to get through life as a recluse because I no longer desire the pleasure of success or the pain of failure. I care about nothing and no one, least of all myself. I have one thing on my mind.
This has affected my life so much lately that the only thing I will do is sleep. I don't want to deal with reality so I just fall asleep for as long as I can and when I've slept all I can, I'll stare at the ceiling until I fall asleep again. This is the rare occasion that I'll venture to my computer to visit Anandtech because this is my favorite site and I guess one of the only things I live for (Ha). So my standards have fallen in life. My goal in life is to get through life as a recluse because I no longer desire the pleasure of success or the pain of failure. I care about nothing and no one, least of all myself. I have one thing on my mind.