PSA: GrapeNuts "cereal" is godawful.

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astralusion

Senior member
Nov 19, 2004
487
0
0
yeah, i always thought it was supposed to be eaten really warmed up with liquid...almost oatmealish
 

dullard

Elite Member
May 21, 2001
25,765
4,293
126
I see you don't know how to eat GrapeNuts properly. It does take a little work. Here are the proper steps.

1) Poor about a cup of the cereal into a bowl.
2) Just barely moisten the cereal with milk. Enough to take the hard crunch out of them but there should NOT be a single drop of milk unabsorbed. You might want to start conservative with less milk (say 1 tsp at a time).
3) Stir.
4) Repeat steps 2 and 3 to get just enough milk but none that is not absorbed.
5) If some milk is left unabsorbed, don't panic. You can add just a little more GrapeNuts and stir. When the balance is correct, there is no longer a "clink" as the hard cereal hits the bowl but there is also no milk on the bottom.
6) Add 1 heaping tablespoon of sugar. Possibly 1.5 tbsp if you really like sweets. But for the love of God, don't ever try 2 tbsp per cup of cereal!
7) Stir thoroughly so that every granule has at least one shiny sugar crystal adhered.

The resulting sugary mass is one of the world's greatest food treats (well #1 is Craklin Oat Bran right out of the box).
 

moshquerade

No Lifer
Nov 1, 2001
61,504
12
56
Originally posted by: PingSpike
What the hell is this sh|t? Tree bark bits?

People said it was bad, but people say that about all cereals that aren't frosted and since I don't mind bland food I bought a box last week. I poured myself a hearty bowl with some milk and brought the spoon to my mouth, expecting a flavor perhaps only slightly worse than bran flakes or a grassy flavor like Khashi. What I got was a mushy mouthful of dirt milk. After about three spoonfulls I sliced up some fresh strawberries to try and dull the foul taste. No dice. The grapenuts flavor easily overpowered the strawberries pitiful attempts at flavor restoration. The delicious strawberries were assimilated into the ground rabbit turd collective. They resembled strawberries now only on a visual level.

I consumed the entire bowl since I hate throwing food away, but it was immensely difficult. And keep in mind I eat baked potatos plain.

It says on the box that a study shows that if you you eat grapenuts in place of two meals a day you'll lose weight. No sh|t. Probably because after three days of eating grape nuts for two meals a day you stopped eating those meals altogether and started eating dryer lint or something.

I dunno what I'm going to do with that box.
use the rest for cat litter

 

LordMaul

Lifer
Nov 16, 2000
15,168
1
0
You should start a support group for Grapenuts Haters in a Grapenuts Friendly world. I'd join.
 

BoberFett

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
37,562
9
81
I like them, just let them sit in the milk for a minute and they soften up just a bit. I don't enjoy feeling like I'm going to break a tooth eating them at full strength.
 

kranky

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
21,019
156
106
Totally agreed - GrapeNuts is just vile. I don't know how you managed to finish the bowl.

I bought a box once and dug in to the first bowl.

Bite 1: Oh, this is terrible. It couldn't be that bad, though, since people do buy it.
Bite 2: No, this really is terrible. Vile, foul and disgusting. Who could really enjoy this? But I bought it so I'll finish it.
Bite 3: <gag> Nope, forget this. Wish I had a dog just to see if he'd eat it.

That was the end of that. And ever since, I've wondered what people really do with it. I know it's claimed to be food, but it's certainly not fit for human consumption. Maybe mosh is on to something with the cat litter thing.
 

KarenMarie

Elite Member
Sep 20, 2003
14,372
6
81
it is not supposed taste good... it is supposed to be good for you. Or it is supposed to taste bad so ppl think it must be good for them.
 

silverpig

Lifer
Jul 29, 2001
27,703
12
81
You put grapenuts in yogourt. Especially good if you find Liberty Mediterranean 10% MF yogourt.
 

Rumpltzer

Diamond Member
Jun 7, 2003
4,815
33
91
Originally posted by: FoBoT
i like it

you didn't put enough sugar on it
Yeah. Not enough sugar.

I really like Grape Nuts, but I don't eat them crunchy. I pour lots of milk over them, add lots of sugar and stir, and then put them in the fridge. I then go take a shower and get dressed and stuff, then I come back about thirty minutes later to eat them soggy.

I love it.
 

krcat1

Senior member
Jan 20, 2005
551
0
0
Let them sit in the milk for a few minutes and put sugar on them.

Otherwise its like eating gravel.
 
Mar 19, 2003
18,289
2
71
Originally posted by: dullard
I see you don't know how to eat GrapeNuts properly. It does take a little work. Here are the proper steps.

1) Poor about a cup of the cereal into a bowl.
2) Just barely moisten the cereal with milk. Enough to take the hard crunch out of them but there should NOT be a single drop of milk unabsorbed. You might want to start conservative with less milk (say 1 tsp at a time).
3) Stir.
4) Repeat steps 2 and 3 to get just enough milk but none that is not absorbed.
5) If some milk is left unabsorbed, don't panic. You can add just a little more GrapeNuts and stir. When the balance is correct, there is no longer a "clink" as the hard cereal hits the bowl but there is also no milk on the bottom.
6) Add 1 heaping tablespoon of sugar. Possibly 1.5 tbsp if you really like sweets. But for the love of God, don't ever try 2 tbsp per cup of cereal!
7) Stir thoroughly so that every granule has at least one shiny sugar crystal adhered.

The resulting sugary mass is one of the world's greatest food treats (well #1 is Craklin Oat Bran right out of the box).

QFT :thumbsup:
 

loup garou

Lifer
Feb 17, 2000
35,132
1
81
Originally posted by: SynthDude2001
Originally posted by: dullard
I see you don't know how to eat GrapeNuts properly. It does take a little work. Here are the proper steps.

1) Poor about a cup of the cereal into a bowl.
2) Just barely moisten the cereal with milk. Enough to take the hard crunch out of them but there should NOT be a single drop of milk unabsorbed. You might want to start conservative with less milk (say 1 tsp at a time).
3) Stir.
4) Repeat steps 2 and 3 to get just enough milk but none that is not absorbed.
5) If some milk is left unabsorbed, don't panic. You can add just a little more GrapeNuts and stir. When the balance is correct, there is no longer a "clink" as the hard cereal hits the bowl but there is also no milk on the bottom.
6) Add 1 heaping tablespoon of sugar. Possibly 1.5 tbsp if you really like sweets. But for the love of God, don't ever try 2 tbsp per cup of cereal!
7) Stir thoroughly so that every granule has at least one shiny sugar crystal adhered.

The resulting sugary mass is one of the world's greatest food treats (well #1 is Craklin Oat Bran right out of the box).

QFT :thumbsup:
No way! The crunchier the better. The litmus test for GrapeNuts is if you can hear anything else around you, they're too soggy!
 
Mar 19, 2003
18,289
2
71
Originally posted by: werk
Originally posted by: SynthDude2001
Originally posted by: dullard
I see you don't know how to eat GrapeNuts properly. It does take a little work. Here are the proper steps.

1) Poor about a cup of the cereal into a bowl.
2) Just barely moisten the cereal with milk. Enough to take the hard crunch out of them but there should NOT be a single drop of milk unabsorbed. You might want to start conservative with less milk (say 1 tsp at a time).
3) Stir.
4) Repeat steps 2 and 3 to get just enough milk but none that is not absorbed.
5) If some milk is left unabsorbed, don't panic. You can add just a little more GrapeNuts and stir. When the balance is correct, there is no longer a "clink" as the hard cereal hits the bowl but there is also no milk on the bottom.
6) Add 1 heaping tablespoon of sugar. Possibly 1.5 tbsp if you really like sweets. But for the love of God, don't ever try 2 tbsp per cup of cereal!
7) Stir thoroughly so that every granule has at least one shiny sugar crystal adhered.

The resulting sugary mass is one of the world's greatest food treats (well #1 is Craklin Oat Bran right out of the box).

QFT :thumbsup:
No way! The crunchier the better. The litmus test for GrapeNuts is if you can hear anything else around you, they're too soggy!

Well, I can go either way I guess, crunchy or soggy (it's actually been years since I've eaten any), but the real key is the sugar.
 

loup garou

Lifer
Feb 17, 2000
35,132
1
81
Originally posted by: SynthDude2001
Originally posted by: werk
Originally posted by: SynthDude2001
Originally posted by: dullard
I see you don't know how to eat GrapeNuts properly. It does take a little work. Here are the proper steps.

1) Poor about a cup of the cereal into a bowl.
2) Just barely moisten the cereal with milk. Enough to take the hard crunch out of them but there should NOT be a single drop of milk unabsorbed. You might want to start conservative with less milk (say 1 tsp at a time).
3) Stir.
4) Repeat steps 2 and 3 to get just enough milk but none that is not absorbed.
5) If some milk is left unabsorbed, don't panic. You can add just a little more GrapeNuts and stir. When the balance is correct, there is no longer a "clink" as the hard cereal hits the bowl but there is also no milk on the bottom.
6) Add 1 heaping tablespoon of sugar. Possibly 1.5 tbsp if you really like sweets. But for the love of God, don't ever try 2 tbsp per cup of cereal!
7) Stir thoroughly so that every granule has at least one shiny sugar crystal adhered.

The resulting sugary mass is one of the world's greatest food treats (well #1 is Craklin Oat Bran right out of the box).

QFT :thumbsup:
No way! The crunchier the better. The litmus test for GrapeNuts is if you can hear anything else around you, they're too soggy!

Well, I can go either way I guess, crunchy or soggy (it's actually been years since I've eaten any), but the real key is the sugar.
I prefer honey, but yes, they do need some sweetener. Next time, try them super crunchy with honey and sliced banana...mmm...
 

ttown

Platinum Member
Oct 27, 2003
2,412
0
0
i eat them about 2/3 cup per meal... with sugar and milk... very filling

You need to let them sit in the milk a few minutes to get rid of the "gravelly" hardness.

i can't imagine them being good with strawberries. Try again with bananas instead.
 

alien42

Lifer
Nov 28, 2004
12,821
3,236
136
:music:
He was born in the summer of his 27th year
Comin' home to a place he'd never been before
He left yesterday behind him, you might say he was born again
You might say he found a key for every door

When he first came to the mountains his life was far away
On the road and hangin' by a song
But the string's already broken and he doesn't really care
It keeps changin' fast and it don't last for long

But the Colorado rocky mountain high
I've seen it rainin' fire in the sky
The shadow from the starlight is softer than a lullabye
Rocky mountain high

He climbed cathedral mountains, he saw silver clouds below
He saw everything as far as you can see
And they say that he got crazy once and he tried to touch the sun
And he lost a friend but kept his memory

Now he walks in quiet solitude the forest and the streams
Seeking grace in every step he takes
His sight has turned inside himself to try and understand
The serenity of a clear blue mountain lake

And the Colorado rocky mountain high
I've seen it rainin' fire in the sky
You can talk to God and listen to the casual reply
Rocky mountain high

Now his life is full of wonder but his heart still knows some fear
Of a simple thing he cannot comprehend
Why they try to tear the mountains down to bring in a couple more
More people, more scars upon the land

And the Colorado rocky mountain high
I've seen it rainin' fire in the sky
I know he'd be a poorer man if he never saw an eagle fly
Rocky mountain high

It's Colorado rocky mountain high
I've seen it rainin' fire in the sky
Friends around the campfire and everybody's high
Rocky mountain high
:music:
 

edro

Lifer
Apr 5, 2002
24,326
68
91
LOL! Awesome rant! I agree, but I still have my 1 cup every morning. I usually drizzle honey over it though. Sometimes I mix Honey Nut Cheerios in it too.

Just wait until tommorow... you'll sh|t a pop can
 

0roo0roo

No Lifer
Sep 21, 2002
64,795
84
91
its pretty easy to get suckered by the health claims though. so nasty. easier to eat oatmeal or shredded wheat
 
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