Question for Married Guys

[PatrickBateman]

my wife didnt care about all that crap and preferred spending the money on something else

 

[coloumb]

Originally posted by: acheron
uh, I don't know. who measures things in "months of salary"? pre-tax-withholding or post-? how about insurance and 401k?

thinking about it, it was probably about a month net at the time (post-everything). that's just engagement ring; we bought wedding rings together later.

Diamond Industry and marketing does - they've pretty much brain washed women into thinking a certain amount of a man's salary = what kind of ring to expect.

As others have stated - it's nothing more than about bragging rights...

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: PatrickBateman
my wife didnt care about all that crap and preferred spending the money on something else

I love this thread and ridiculous replies like this. This is what I was talking about earlier :laugh:

People who think they are better and smarter than other people who choose to live their life differently. Love it.

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: coloumb

Originally posted by: acheron
uh, I don't know. who measures things in "months of salary"? pre-tax-withholding or post-? how about insurance and 401k?

thinking about it, it was probably about a month net at the time (post-everything). that's just engagement ring; we bought wedding rings together later.

Diamond Industry and marketing does - they've pretty much brain washed women into thinking a certain amount of a man's salary = what kind of ring to expect.

As others have stated - it's nothing more than about bragging rights...

Why aren't you up in arms about people who drive a really expensive Lexus or Mercedes? Surely for day to day driving a Civic will get them to and from work and anything more, for most people, is just bragging rights. Don't try to argue utility either because I could come up with 10 more examples of how idiots like you and others in this thread will do things for purely cosmetic reasons and not even bat an eye at it.

 

[meltdown75]

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan

Originally posted by: PatrickBateman
my wife didnt care about all that crap and preferred spending the money on something else

I love this thread and ridiculous replies like this. This is what I was talking about earlier :laugh:

People who think they are better and smarter than other people who choose to live their life differently. Love it.

Well, this place must seem like heaven to you then!

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: meltdown75

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan

Originally posted by: PatrickBateman
my wife didnt care about all that crap and preferred spending the money on something else

I love this thread and ridiculous replies like this. This is what I was talking about earlier :laugh:

People who think they are better and smarter than other people who choose to live their life differently. Love it.

Well, this place must seem like heaven to you then!

I won't lie. It's part of the reason I keep coming back. Only difference is I actually don't judge people based on what makes them happy or think I'm superior for it.

 

[Syringer]

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan

Originally posted by: PatrickBateman
my wife didnt care about all that crap and preferred spending the money on something else

I love this thread and ridiculous replies like this. This is what I was talking about earlier :laugh:

People who think they are better and smarter than other people who choose to live their life differently. Love it.

U mad?

 

[woodman1999]

Yeah, I spent about 5 months salary on the engagement ring. I'll punch her in the ovary if she wants to upgrade that rock.

 

[acole1]

She picked out several she liked, and her favorite was about 4mo worth... I paid cash. I also would have paid cash for one that was 2x the amt. I had plenty of time to save up, and didn't want to go into debt to get her what she wanted.

 

[meltdown75]

anyway... my answer is officially... way too much money.

but a drop in the bucket compared to what i had invested emotionally. money is nothing when you are offering yourself and everything you have 100%

 

[shortylickens]

I was just bullshitting with a waitress today and she complained her boyfriend was going too far overboard with rings. She just wanted an antique style that shouldnt have cost him more than 300 dollars. He tried to overdo it with a 2500 dollar diamond.

 

[meltdown75]

i know an Italian chick who had her ring designed... i heard it was over 10 grand... 0_0

that was also the most lavish & huge wedding i have ever been to.

 

[krunchykrome]

With my salary at that time, it was about 2.5 months worth

 

[krunchykrome]

Originally posted by: Insomniator

Originally posted by: nobody554

Originally posted by: rasczak
that she now wants to upgrade. $)_&(#QU)($&)!!!!

This part I've never fully understood ... At least past the physical, women-like-pretty-shiny-things part. Isn't the ring supposed to be a symbol of your love and commitment and unity and some crap like that to each other?

Then why does it matter how expensive the ring looks? Shouldn't you be happy with a 25 cent ring from the toy machine things in the mall?

Its also symbol of sacrifice, and women know that man value their money/work very very much. So a guy dropping 10 grand or whatever for marriage is a big gesture to some women.

A 25 cent ring shows no commitment or unity...

/girlfriend told me this

touche'

 

[krunchykrome]

Originally posted by: FallenHero

Originally posted by: Insomniator

Originally posted by: nobody554

Originally posted by: rasczak
that she now wants to upgrade. $)_&(#QU)($&)!!!!

This part I've never fully understood ... At least past the physical, women-like-pretty-shiny-things part. Isn't the ring supposed to be a symbol of your love and commitment and unity and some crap like that to each other?

Then why does it matter how expensive the ring looks? Shouldn't you be happy with a 25 cent ring from the toy machine things in the mall?

Its also symbol of sacrifice, and women know that man value their money/work very very much. So a guy dropping 10 grand or whatever for marriage is a big gesture to some women.

A 25 cent ring shows no commitment or unity...

/girlfriend told me this

No offense to anyone who has done this, but dropping 10 grand on a ring is dumb.

Hell, my g/f thinks 3 grand is way too much.

Not sure if you've proposed yet....

but your either just plain cheap, don't make enough money, lack financial discipline to save money, or all of the above

 

[krunchykrome]

Originally posted by: waffleironhead

Originally posted by: Insomniator

Originally posted by: nobody554

Originally posted by: rasczak
that she now wants to upgrade. $)_&(#QU)($&)!!!!

This part I've never fully understood ... At least past the physical, women-like-pretty-shiny-things part. Isn't the ring supposed to be a symbol of your love and commitment and unity and some crap like that to each other?

Then why does it matter how expensive the ring looks? Shouldn't you be happy with a 25 cent ring from the toy machine things in the mall?

Its also symbol of sacrifice, and women know that man value their money/work very very much. So a guy dropping 10 grand or whatever for marriage is a big gesture to some women.

A 25 cent ring shows no commitment or unity...

/girlfriend told me this

She sure fooled you, its all about bragging rights with the other girls. Look how big my ring is, guess how much he spent?

indeed
every girl does it, whether they admit it or not

 

[SunSamurai]

People spending a fortune on items forget what the point of marriage is.

 

[SunSamurai]

Originally posted by: krunchykrome

Originally posted by: waffleironhead

Originally posted by: Insomniator

Originally posted by: nobody554

Originally posted by: rasczak
that she now wants to upgrade. $)_&(#QU)($&)!!!!

This part I've never fully understood ... At least past the physical, women-like-pretty-shiny-things part. Isn't the ring supposed to be a symbol of your love and commitment and unity and some crap like that to each other?

Then why does it matter how expensive the ring looks? Shouldn't you be happy with a 25 cent ring from the toy machine things in the mall?

Its also symbol of sacrifice, and women know that man value their money/work very very much. So a guy dropping 10 grand or whatever for marriage is a big gesture to some women.

A 25 cent ring shows no commitment or unity...

/girlfriend told me this

She sure fooled you, its all about bragging rights with the other girls. Look how big my ring is, guess how much he spent?

indeed
every girl does it, whether they admit it or not

Those types of girls I would not want to marry. No. Not all girls are like that. Some of them have class and dignity. Maybe you are just surrounding yourself with girls. Try and find a woman. There is a difference, but you wont see it as people like you are called boys.

 

[DrPizza]

Originally posted by: krunchykrome

Originally posted by: FallenHero

Originally posted by: Insomniator

Originally posted by: nobody554

Originally posted by: rasczak
that she now wants to upgrade. $)_&(#QU)($&)!!!!

This part I've never fully understood ... At least past the physical, women-like-pretty-shiny-things part. Isn't the ring supposed to be a symbol of your love and commitment and unity and some crap like that to each other?

Then why does it matter how expensive the ring looks? Shouldn't you be happy with a 25 cent ring from the toy machine things in the mall?

Its also symbol of sacrifice, and women know that man value their money/work very very much. So a guy dropping 10 grand or whatever for marriage is a big gesture to some women.

A 25 cent ring shows no commitment or unity...

/girlfriend told me this

No offense to anyone who has done this, but dropping 10 grand on a ring is dumb.

Hell, my g/f thinks 3 grand is way too much.

Not sure if you've proposed yet....

but your either just plain cheap, don't make enough money, lack financial discipline to save money, or all of the above

Maybe you missed the most likely choice: He's smart. WTF is wrong with people? The majority of people cannot afford 20% down payment on a house, yet people are brainwashed into the idea that when they are starting their lives together, the first thing they need to do is spend lavishly on... a symbol. A tiny nearly useless decoration on a finger, useful only for bragging to friends about how big the diamond is and how much he spent on it - aka conspicuous consumption of wealth.

But, I suppose not everyone has the same priorities. While my wife and I purchased our first house at the age of 23 (purchase offer when 22, closed when 23), I'll bet there were plenty of other young couples who said "Gosh, I wish we didn't have to rent an apartment. Isn't this ring pretty and shiny!" In fact, while we could have afforded a nice honeymoon to a much more exotic location, we opted to simply travel to the finger lakes region of NY, stop by Niagara Falls for a couple days, then return home, saving much more of our money for the house we had the purchase offer on.

 

[Jack Ryan]

Originally posted by: DrPizza

Originally posted by: krunchykrome

Originally posted by: FallenHero

Originally posted by: Insomniator

Originally posted by: nobody554

Originally posted by: rasczak
that she now wants to upgrade. $)_&(#QU)($&)!!!!

This part I've never fully understood ... At least past the physical, women-like-pretty-shiny-things part. Isn't the ring supposed to be a symbol of your love and commitment and unity and some crap like that to each other?

Then why does it matter how expensive the ring looks? Shouldn't you be happy with a 25 cent ring from the toy machine things in the mall?

Its also symbol of sacrifice, and women know that man value their money/work very very much. So a guy dropping 10 grand or whatever for marriage is a big gesture to some women.

A 25 cent ring shows no commitment or unity...

/girlfriend told me this

No offense to anyone who has done this, but dropping 10 grand on a ring is dumb.

Hell, my g/f thinks 3 grand is way too much.

Not sure if you've proposed yet....

but your either just plain cheap, don't make enough money, lack financial discipline to save money, or all of the above

Maybe you missed the most likely choice: He's smart. WTF is wrong with people? The majority of people cannot afford 20% down payment on a house, yet people are brainwashed into the idea that when they are starting their lives together, the first thing they need to do is spend lavishly on... a symbol. A tiny nearly useless decoration on a finger, useful only for bragging to friends about how big the diamond is and how much he spent on it - aka conspicuous consumption of wealth.

But, I suppose not everyone has the same priorities. While my wife and I purchased our first house at the age of 23 (purchase offer when 22, closed when 23), I'll bet there were plenty of other young couples who said "Gosh, I wish we didn't have to rent an apartment. Isn't this ring pretty and shiny!" In fact, while we could have afforded a nice honeymoon to a much more exotic location, we opted to simply travel to the finger lakes region of NY, stop by Niagara Falls for a couple days, then return home, saving much more of our money for the house we had the purchase offer on.

Good for you? The great part about this country is you can be who you want to be. If you want to get a cheap ring, great. If you want to spend some dough on a nice ring, great. You have that freedom.

Living life YOUR way is not for everyone. Some people don't need a big house and they buy the newest truck out there every 3 years. Who cares what others do.

You can share your OPINION (like the OP asked for), but to claim someone isn't "smart" because they spent more money on a ring than you is just ignorant, and reeks of jealousy.

 

[DrPizza]

Originally posted by: Jack Ryan

Originally posted by: DrPizza

Originally posted by: krunchykrome

Originally posted by: FallenHero

Originally posted by: Insomniator

Originally posted by: nobody554

Originally posted by: rasczak
that she now wants to upgrade. $)_&(#QU)($&)!!!!

This part I've never fully understood ... At least past the physical, women-like-pretty-shiny-things part. Isn't the ring supposed to be a symbol of your love and commitment and unity and some crap like that to each other?

Then why does it matter how expensive the ring looks? Shouldn't you be happy with a 25 cent ring from the toy machine things in the mall?

Its also symbol of sacrifice, and women know that man value their money/work very very much. So a guy dropping 10 grand or whatever for marriage is a big gesture to some women.

A 25 cent ring shows no commitment or unity...

/girlfriend told me this

No offense to anyone who has done this, but dropping 10 grand on a ring is dumb.

Hell, my g/f thinks 3 grand is way too much.

Not sure if you've proposed yet....

but your either just plain cheap, don't make enough money, lack financial discipline to save money, or all of the above

Maybe you missed the most likely choice: He's smart. WTF is wrong with people? The majority of people cannot afford 20% down payment on a house, yet people are brainwashed into the idea that when they are starting their lives together, the first thing they need to do is spend lavishly on... a symbol. A tiny nearly useless decoration on a finger, useful only for bragging to friends about how big the diamond is and how much he spent on it - aka conspicuous consumption of wealth.

But, I suppose not everyone has the same priorities. While my wife and I purchased our first house at the age of 23 (purchase offer when 22, closed when 23), I'll bet there were plenty of other young couples who said "Gosh, I wish we didn't have to rent an apartment. Isn't this ring pretty and shiny!" In fact, while we could have afforded a nice honeymoon to a much more exotic location, we opted to simply travel to the finger lakes region of NY, stop by Niagara Falls for a couple days, then return home, saving much more of our money for the house we had the purchase offer on.

Good for you? The great part about this country is you can be who you want to be. If you want to get a cheap ring, great. If you want to spend some dough on a nice ring, great. You have that freedom.

Living life YOUR way is not for everyone. Some people don't need a big house and they buy the newest truck out there every 3 years. Who cares what others do.

You can share your OPINION (like the OP asked for), but to claim someone isn't "smart" because they spent more money on a ring than you is just ignorant, and reeks of jealousy.

I was simply defending the poster who was accused of being "just plain cheap, don't make enough money, lack financial discipline to save money, or all of the above." If you've got the money, fine, go ahead and spend it. But unlike on ATOT where the average poster makes 6 figures, the majority of young couples generally don't have a lot of money saved up. Read AnitaPeterson's response again:

Back in Europe, we used to marvel at the American "dollar-mindedness", even in what relationships are concerned... it seems to be alive and well.
Do you know there's no such thing as engagement rings in other parts of the world? Only wedding bands?
To claim - and to expect - a massive, expensive ring, which somehow "must" represent a hefty percentage of the man's salary (just because he's supposed to care about his money, therefore demonstrating his commitment) is cold, shallow and only demonstrates a mercantile mindset.

She's absolutely correct. And, you're correct. People can spend their money on whatever pleases them. But to spend the kind of money that DeBeer's is suggesting - 2 months gross salary - that's a poor financial decision, especially when people are financing many of the engagement rings. What would you say to a young couple who wanted a house, but couldn't afford one; were living in an apartment, had an older vehicle, but went out and purchased a $5000 painting (even financing it) to hang on the wall in their apartment. I'd agree with you that such a purchase was their choice, and to each their own, but we'd both also be thinking "that was a pretty stupid thing to do."

If you're financially set, and can afford a big ring, go for it. But the truth is, the vast majority of couples getting married are NOT in that position. BTW, I'm not jealous. That's kinda funny that you'd think that.

 

[geno]

I once had a girl tell me "It's worth it to spend a lot on a big ring because jewelry is a good investment"

 

[PatrickBateman]

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan

Originally posted by: PatrickBateman
my wife didnt care about all that crap and preferred spending the money on something else

I love this thread and ridiculous replies like this. This is what I was talking about earlier :laugh:

People who think they are better and smarter than other people who choose to live their life differently. Love it.

maybe by calling it "crap", it came across that way. To us at the time, being 23 and having a baby....spending an enormous amount of money on a rock, was ridiculous and still is. It's just not something we value. We dont buy things to show everyone..."ohhhhh look what I got" to us THAT is people thinking they are better than others. We buy things to please ourselves. To us, a diamond is just a rock, I mean what do you do with it other than show people and stare at it? We were not ballin' at the time so we got something she liked without spending lot of money.
Hey, if spending a lot of money on a ring makes you happy, who cares?
I am sure my Paiste cymbals is "money spent on crap" to some people...so what.

Everytime I ask wahat she wants for her birthday/christmas/anniversary/etc, her answer is always the same....."you"

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: geno
I once had a girl tell me "It's worth it to spend a lot on a big ring because jewelry is a good investment"

I guess some fine jewelry ends up being worth more in a hundred years...

 

[JoPh]

cost me $5000