Question for Married Guys

[MiniDoom]

3k for engagement ring, $50 for wedding band.

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: dainthomas

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan

It doesn't matter what you say. The ATOT mentality is that any woman who likes a nice ring is automatically shallow and will rape you in the divorce. It's impossible to just like the nice ring for what it is and be happily married on top of that. In 30 years my wife's ring will still look impressive and we'll be able to pass it on to our kids. The diamonds will be, as they say, forever.

If people want their cheap rings that's fine, but calling people disgusting or anything else because they like something nice is beyond stupid. If you like your little shit ring then good for you. Sounds contradictory but I hate when people think they are better for wanting to buy something cheaper out of preference or just straight bitterness.

I think a nice ring is exactly that - a nice ring. You show the commitment and unity in whatever way you feel is right, but it is undeniable that a lot of people like nice things and there is nothing wrong with that. In my experience, the people who go super cheap and buy $50 rings are the ones who are annoyingly sarcastic and preach the holier-than-thou attitude, not the people with nice ones. Not like this is a new trend, though.

I agree with you in that the size of the ring has no bearing on whether you'll get nailed in the divorce. Because you will regardless.

Nobody is saying you can't enjoy something nice. Just that giving a ring is not some ancient tradition, because it's about as ancient as Santa Claus. And people were able to stay committed before this whole thing was concocted.

What happened to the good old days when the woman (or her parents) had to pay YOU to get married?

Actually that's exactly what they are saying by calling women/couples who participate in this somewhat new tradition "disgusting" or anything similar. Who cares when the tradition was created? You don't have to take part in it if you don't want, but turning your nose up at people for doing things they want to do is beyond idiotic. I never said the ring had anything to do with materializing your commitment and unity. They are unrelated.

Edit: forgot to comment on the dowry part...I agree, what happened to those days??

 

[Drako]

Originally posted by: rdubbz420
3k for engagement ring, $50 for wedding band.

Where did you find a $50 wedding band?

 

[drdops]

Think it was $4250 for the engagement ring, but only £120 for the wedding band (the wedding band was a last minute thing :x oops)

 

[AnitaPeterson]

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan

Originally posted by: dainthomas

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan

It doesn't matter what you say. The ATOT mentality is that any woman who likes a nice ring is automatically shallow and will rape you in the divorce. It's impossible to just like the nice ring for what it is and be happily married on top of that. In 30 years my wife's ring will still look impressive and we'll be able to pass it on to our kids. The diamonds will be, as they say, forever.

If people want their cheap rings that's fine, but calling people disgusting or anything else because they like something nice is beyond stupid. If you like your little shit ring then good for you. Sounds contradictory but I hate when people think they are better for wanting to buy something cheaper out of preference or just straight bitterness.

I think a nice ring is exactly that - a nice ring. You show the commitment and unity in whatever way you feel is right, but it is undeniable that a lot of people like nice things and there is nothing wrong with that. In my experience, the people who go super cheap and buy $50 rings are the ones who are annoyingly sarcastic and preach the holier-than-thou attitude, not the people with nice ones. Not like this is a new trend, though.

I agree with you in that the size of the ring has no bearing on whether you'll get nailed in the divorce. Because you will regardless.

Nobody is saying you can't enjoy something nice. Just that giving a ring is not some ancient tradition, because it's about as ancient as Santa Claus. And people were able to stay committed before this whole thing was concocted.

What happened to the good old days when the woman (or her parents) had to pay YOU to get married?

Actually that's exactly what they are saying by calling women/couples who participate in this somewhat new tradition "disgusting" or anything similar. Who cares when the tradition was created? You don't have to take part in it if you don't want, but turning your nose up at people for doing things they want to do is beyond idiotic. I never said the ring had anything to do with materializing your commitment and unity. They are unrelated.

Edit: forgot to comment on the dowry part...I agree, what happened to those days??

Well, actually, you did. Indirectly, of course.
Back in Europe, we used to marvel at the American "dollar-mindedness", even in what relationships are concerned... it seems to be alive and well.
Do you know there's no such thing as engagement rings in other parts of the world? Only wedding bands?
To claim - and to expect - a massive, expensive ring, which somehow "must" represent a hefty percentage of the man's salary (just because he's supposed to care about his money, therefore demonstrating his commitment) is cold, shallow and only demonstrates a mercantile mindset.

 

[nakedfrog]

Whoa, deja vu.

 

[Special K]

Originally posted by: Insomniator

Originally posted by: nobody554

Originally posted by: rasczak
that she now wants to upgrade. $)_&(#QU)($&)!!!!

This part I've never fully understood ... At least past the physical, women-like-pretty-shiny-things part. Isn't the ring supposed to be a symbol of your love and commitment and unity and some crap like that to each other?

Then why does it matter how expensive the ring looks? Shouldn't you be happy with a 25 cent ring from the toy machine things in the mall?

Its also symbol of sacrifice, and women know that man value their money/work very very much. So a guy dropping 10 grand or whatever for marriage is a big gesture to some women.

A 25 cent ring shows no commitment or unity...

/girlfriend told me this

What about using that money as a downpayment on a house for the two of you? It shows commitment and is far more pratical than the ring.

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: AnitaPeterson

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan

Originally posted by: dainthomas

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan

It doesn't matter what you say. The ATOT mentality is that any woman who likes a nice ring is automatically shallow and will rape you in the divorce. It's impossible to just like the nice ring for what it is and be happily married on top of that. In 30 years my wife's ring will still look impressive and we'll be able to pass it on to our kids. The diamonds will be, as they say, forever.

If people want their cheap rings that's fine, but calling people disgusting or anything else because they like something nice is beyond stupid. If you like your little shit ring then good for you. Sounds contradictory but I hate when people think they are better for wanting to buy something cheaper out of preference or just straight bitterness.

I think a nice ring is exactly that - a nice ring. You show the commitment and unity in whatever way you feel is right, but it is undeniable that a lot of people like nice things and there is nothing wrong with that. In my experience, the people who go super cheap and buy $50 rings are the ones who are annoyingly sarcastic and preach the holier-than-thou attitude, not the people with nice ones. Not like this is a new trend, though.

I agree with you in that the size of the ring has no bearing on whether you'll get nailed in the divorce. Because you will regardless.

Nobody is saying you can't enjoy something nice. Just that giving a ring is not some ancient tradition, because it's about as ancient as Santa Claus. And people were able to stay committed before this whole thing was concocted.

What happened to the good old days when the woman (or her parents) had to pay YOU to get married?

Actually that's exactly what they are saying by calling women/couples who participate in this somewhat new tradition "disgusting" or anything similar. Who cares when the tradition was created? You don't have to take part in it if you don't want, but turning your nose up at people for doing things they want to do is beyond idiotic. I never said the ring had anything to do with materializing your commitment and unity. They are unrelated.

Edit: forgot to comment on the dowry part...I agree, what happened to those days??

Well, actually, you did. Indirectly, of course.
Back in Europe, we used to marvel at the American "dollar-mindedness", even in what relationships are concerned... it seems to be alive and well.
Do you know there's no such thing as engagement rings in other parts of the world? Only wedding bands?
To claim - and to expect - a massive, expensive ring, which somehow "must" represent a hefty percentage of the man's salary (just because he's supposed to care about his money, therefore demonstrating his commitment) is cold, shallow and only demonstrates a mercantile mindset.

Actually, I didn't, and very directly.

It's impossible to just like the nice ring for what it is and be happily married on top of that.

I think a nice ring is exactly that - a nice ring. You show the commitment and unity in whatever way you feel is right, but it is undeniable that a lot of people like nice things and there is nothing wrong with that.

and if you are still trying to misinterpret what I said, you can take the extremely direct sentence where I tried to say exactly how I feel about it:

I never said the ring had anything to do with materializing your commitment and unity. They are unrelated.

A nice ring is a nice ring. It says nothing about commitment or unity unless the two people who are involved chose to have it represent that. In our case, it didn't mean that but again you are doing the same stupid thing as other people in this thread - thinking your opinion is right just because "most of the world" does it differently. If you don't agree with the practice then don't do it. It's that easy.

 

[bignateyk]

about 1 month net pay (~3500) for the engagement ring.

$40 for the gold band

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: Special K

What about using that money as a downpayment on a house for the two of you? It shows commitment and is far more pratical than the ring.

We bought a nice ring and went slightly light on the wedding expenses to meet the down payment for our first house. The ring will last forever and the wedding was just 1 day was our approach. We made the wedding what we wanted and saved/spent the rest on other things we thought were important.

 

[actuarial]

Also, I probably spend the amount I spent on the ring no golfing every summer. I'll also be buying a nice car of which I will be the primary driver. Those things alone make the ring expense silly by comparison.

 

[Sasiki]

I spent 2 weeks salary, around $1,000 on the wedding set. She loves it and after 5 years, still loves me. Spending money on expensive jewelry is over rated. My wedding band cost like 80 bucks. I have worn it every day for the past 5 years and plan on wearing it for the next 50.

 

[Adul]

Originally posted by: DAGTA
How big was the down payment on your wife? Was it one month, two months, or three months salary?

dare i ask why are you asking this?

 

[dquan97]

I paid about $1500 for the engagement ring and $150 for the wedding band. so less than 50% of a month's salary

 

[MiniDoom]

Originally posted by: Drako

Originally posted by: rdubbz420
3k for engagement ring, $50 for wedding band.

Where did you find a $50 wedding band?

Tungsten Carbide. stronger and cheaper than others.

 

[ViRaLRuSh]

About 3 months pay for the engagement ring....couple of hours pay for the wedding band.

 

[JJ650]

The diamonds didn't cost me a thing. They were given to me from her mom. They were passed down to her from her mom.
Grandmother -> Mother -> daughter Diamonds now working on their 3rd generation. I imagine our daughter will get them if/when the time comes.

I had 15 stones to use. 7 went to engagement ring, the rest went to the wedding band. I spent $300 on the white gold, settings and the antique engraving on both rings.

Monetary value for me: $300
Sentimental vale for her : Priceless

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: BoberFett

Originally posted by: AreaCode707
For my husband it cost him about a day's pay, I would guesstimate (not sure what he was making at the time). Abut $150 for a gold band.

We went cheap too. Our bands were about $250-300 each. My wife doesn't own a diamond ring.

I own a very small ring with two little diamond chips; my sister got it for me when I turned 18. It was $100. I'm not a big diamond fan but I like how little it is and I wear it on my right hand all the time. My sister-ring.

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: actuarial
1500 on engagement ring, 1000 on wedding band, 400 on my wedding band in Canada. Been married for 10 days now.

I was in school working part time when I got engaged, so it was something like a month (though was actually bought out of savings). Then bands were bought a couple months ago now that I'm in the real world, and total about a 6 days pay (3 days pay if you are looking at our joint income).

She would have been pissed if I spent more, though I was willing to. She's the type of gal which is happier about what kind of deal I get as opposed to how much I spend. I got the engagement ring on sale (happened to go on sale after I decided I would get it) so I saved about a grand on it. She was happy with that!

Dang, that's almost as much as we spent on our whole wedding...

 

[NoCreativity]

Originally posted by: Insomniator

Originally posted by: nobody554

Originally posted by: rasczak
that she now wants to upgrade. $)_&(#QU)($&)!!!!

This part I've never fully understood ... At least past the physical, women-like-pretty-shiny-things part. Isn't the ring supposed to be a symbol of your love and commitment and unity and some crap like that to each other?

Then why does it matter how expensive the ring looks? Shouldn't you be happy with a 25 cent ring from the toy machine things in the mall?

Its also symbol of sacrifice, and women know that man value their money/work very very much. So a guy dropping 10 grand or whatever for marriage is a big gesture to some women.

A 25 cent ring shows no commitment or unity...

/girlfriend told me this

The kind of woman you don't want to marry.

I think Dudeman hit the nail on the head, nothing wrong with wanting a nice ring as long as both people agree on the price.

Back OT, I proposed with a $5 fake. Next day we went to the jewelry store and picked out a ring we both liked that was a reasonable price, don't remember the cost but probably a month gross salary.

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan

Originally posted by: rasczak

Originally posted by: AnitaPeterson

Originally posted by: Insomniator

Originally posted by: nobody554

Originally posted by: rasczak
that she now wants to upgrade. $)_&(#QU)($&)!!!!

This part I've never fully understood ... At least past the physical, women-like-pretty-shiny-things part. Isn't the ring supposed to be a symbol of your love and commitment and unity and some crap like that to each other?

Then why does it matter how expensive the ring looks? Shouldn't you be happy with a 25 cent ring from the toy machine things in the mall?

Its also symbol of sacrifice, and women know that man value their money/work very very much. So a guy dropping 10 grand or whatever for marriage is a big gesture to some women.

A 25 cent ring shows no commitment or unity...

/girlfriend told me this

Disgusting mentality... women like these deserve all the bad reputation they get...

wow i didn't realize i put my wife in such a bad light. it was all in good fun. if anything, i'd say my wife deserves an upgrade for all the crap i put her through.

guess i gotta be more careful about how i portray my wife from now on.

It doesn't matter what you say. The ATOT mentality is that any woman who likes a nice ring is automatically shallow and will rape you in the divorce. It's impossible to just like the nice ring for what it is and be happily married on top of that. In 30 years my wife's ring will still look impressive and we'll be able to pass it on to our kids. The diamonds will be, as they say, forever.

If people want their cheap rings that's fine, but calling people disgusting or anything else because they like something nice is beyond stupid. I hate when people think they are better for wanting to buy something cheaper out of preference or just straight bitterness.

I think a nice ring is exactly that - a nice ring. You show the commitment and unity in whatever way you feel is right, but it is undeniable that a lot of people like nice things and there is nothing wrong with that. I guess my wife and I are morons for liking wood floors instead of carpet or for buying a nice house instead of living in a 1 bedroom apartment. In my experience, the people who go super cheap and buy $50 rings are the ones who are annoyingly sarcastic and preach the holier-than-thou attitude, not the people with nice ones. Not like this is a new trend, though.

Good post. My husband spent $150 on my ring but that doesn't make me better or less shallow than anyone else. Would I have liked something more distinctive than a gold band? Sure. But I walked away with the biggest jewel I could have possibly asked for - my husband. I think most girls feel the same way, just have different emotional reactions to the "would I have liked something different".

 

[surfsatwerk]

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

Good post. My husband spent $150 on my ring but that doesn't make me better or less shallow than anyone else. Would I have liked something more distinctive than a gold band? Sure. But I walked away with the biggest jewel I could have possibly asked for - my husband. I think most girls feel the same way, just have different emotional reactions to the "would I have liked something different".

I'm going to totally disagree with you and cite the content of your post as proof that you are a lot less shallow than most women.

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: surfsatwerk

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

Good post. My husband spent $150 on my ring but that doesn't make me better or less shallow than anyone else. Would I have liked something more distinctive than a gold band? Sure. But I walked away with the biggest jewel I could have possibly asked for - my husband. I think most girls feel the same way, just have different emotional reactions to the "would I have liked something different".

I'm going to totally disagree with you and cite the content of your post as proof that you are a lot less shallow than most women.

I think you missed her point. What she's saying is what I was also saying just from a different angle. We bought a more expensive ring and don't attach any big meaning to it. She and her husband bought a less expensive ring and feel the same way about it. My wife has exactly the same feeling about the ring as AreaCode707. I bought a more expensive ring because I wanted to, not because she needed or expected it. You are just playing the stereotype card that any woman who likes a nice ring is shallow. AreaCode707 even just admitted she would have liked a "fancier" ring but does not need it to be happy which is the point entirely. You can't disagree with someones opinion, which is what you are doing, unless you are dumb enough to think yours is right in a situation where there is no right or wrong. If she and her husband are happy with their choice, then that's the end of it. If other people decide to attach meaning to buying a big, fancy ring, then that is their right as well.

Case in point, you wouldn't call a guy shallow for thinking a Porsche 911 or Dodge Viper is awesome. If they brought it to your house, you would most likely compliment them and let them be happy about it. This is the exact same thing. If someone else chooses to buy a diamond ring and expresses pleasure in owning it, then let them be happy and you can go about your own business. Thinking someone is stupid for being happy about something and then calling them shallow because you don't enjoy what they enjoy is ridiculous. Grow up.

 

[surfsatwerk]

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan

Originally posted by: surfsatwerk

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

Good post. My husband spent $150 on my ring but that doesn't make me better or less shallow than anyone else. Would I have liked something more distinctive than a gold band? Sure. But I walked away with the biggest jewel I could have possibly asked for - my husband. I think most girls feel the same way, just have different emotional reactions to the "would I have liked something different".

I'm going to totally disagree with you and cite the content of your post as proof that you are a lot less shallow than most women.

I think you missed her point. What she's saying is what I was also saying just from a different angle. We bought a more expensive ring and don't attach any big meaning to it. She and her husband bought a less expensive ring and feel the same way about it. My wife has exactly the same feeling about the ring as AreaCode707. I bought a more expensive ring because I wanted to, not because she needed or expected it. You are just playing the stereotype card that any woman who likes a nice ring is shallow. AreaCode707 even just admitted she would have liked a "fancier" ring but does not need it to be happy which is the point entirely. You can't disagree with someones opinion, which is what you are doing, unless you are dumb enough to think yours is right in a situation where there is no right or wrong.

So I can't have an opinion of my own about her statement? I'm forced to hold the opinion that greed is good because why... you say so?

I was trying to give a compliment, but please feel free to pick it apart for no reason.

 

[EagleKeeper]

About 1 wks pay $225
Wedding rings were $150 set