Relationship Advice...

[imported_Indohottie]

Hey All..

I read a lot of these but thought I would never post one.. but guess what here I am... background - 25 year old professional, working in a training program (2 year, every six months new job) ending this summer, so I need to choice a full time position.

Here is the situation.. I was living in DC for 6 months for work, while out there I got to reconnect with my best friend. He happened to be subletting out one room in his place to a girl neither of us knew before. I had my own place. I would crash on their couch 2 or 3 times a week (he lived closer to the bars) and got to spend a lot of time with the girl.

Over the 6 months she and I go pretty close, and I got to know her friends pretty well. In fact ended up hooking up with one of them on New Years. Well a couple weeks later, I come to find out my buddy hooked up with her when she firsts moved in, and on her end seemed to be some feelings of more then just friends, however he isn't really interested in it.

Since then I have moved to Wisconsin for work and she and I have talked a lot (more with her then my best friend). Last weekend I got kinda lit up and pushed the issue.. whats going on between us are we friends or is there somethig more. As it turns out, she is feeling pretty much the same as me.. there could be something great, but while we live a part its to difficult to even figure out.

Cliff Notes
1. Met girl in DC
2. Hooked up with her friend, she hooked up with my best friend - one time deals both
3. Moved away - our friendship has built into an interest in being more.

Here is my problems
1. She is far away .. at this moment long distance is not going to work very well - I have an opportunity this summer to move back permenantly ... Do I do it? Its been awhile since I had a connection with a girl like I feel I have with her.
2. She hooked up with my best friend --- maybe its my male ego, but I am having a hard time getting past it .. I dont judge her on it, but having a relationship knowing my best friend has been involved with her seems a bit awkward.

Part of me just wants to postpone all decisions on this until later.. but its been eating at me for a couple weeks now..

 

[EagleKeeper]

Do not plan your career around a weak relationship.

 

[ViviTheMage]

move back for a girl you 'hardly' know?

meh, i wouldn't....there has GOT to be something closer....

 

[apac]

Put the past in the past man.

edit: I should say, that's just about the friend thing. DO NOT jeopardize your career (if you care at all about it) over something that you claim "might be great". Three words: plenty of fish.

 

[Wapp]

Move back to DC and lay some pipe.

 

[clamum]

If you can find a good job that you'd enjoy in DC, I'd say go for it. If you'd like to live there (even if the relationship doesn't end up working out), why not?

 

[mad0maxx]

Tell her to move out to you... if she says no find someone local ^_^

 

[KarenMarie]

Most men I know would never be able to get past the fact that the girlwas done by their friend. That is first of all.

Second, and most importantly... at your age, you needed to do what you gotta do as far as your life/career plan. If this works into the relationship, then cool... but if you alter your course for another person, more times than not, there is resentment when things arent perfect.

If you can get past the first and the second is not an issue ... then give it a try.

Oh... and if you and she are going to be an item... she needs to find a different place to live than with your friend, with whom she had sex.

 

[necine]

Move On.

 

[imported_Indohottie]

So some updates...

1. The job in DC is a great opportunity.. in fact is more a nationwide job, and I can choose where to live.. and I absolutely love DC. Its been my favorite place thus far to live and work over Boston, NYC and Milwaukee.

2. She is moving out next month.

3. My career and my family def come first, so I am in total agreement with that right now. I gotta do whats best for me right now.

 

[fire400]

Originally posted by: EagleKeeper
Do not plan your career around a weak relationship.

*LOL* I think a lot of my friends need to hear that one...

Well, honestly, my sister gave me the advice, that if you liked someone, and they already had a lover, stay as far away from them as possible. You don't want someone trying to make things worse between your girl friend and you, do you?

Alright, well, if you want to be best friends with a girl, and you're a guy, then you're putting away lot of things just to try and do this. For some, it works out. But if you dig her and she wants to be a friend, then man, you are going to be suffering a lot when you two hang out, unless you know how to control that ego of yours.

Don't get over frustrated. People come and go, but friends are forever. If she is a true admirer, she'd do the same in return, by letting you know how she feels. However, don't push everything on this relationship because although 'everyone' would tell you that there are plenty of fish in the sea, my advice, is to tell her how you feel, and let it go for a while. We don't feel the same all the time, but you can't have everything, you know, especially trying to make it go your way. Always be yourself, and don't let your feelings and passions over-cloud your goals of reaching your dreams. If you love her, you'll learn how to let her go, that's reality, all you can do it hope and take action with the right timing, but don't overdo yourself.

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: EagleKeeper
Do not plan your career around a weak relationship.

Excellent advice.

 

[George P Burdell]

Originally posted by: EagleKeeper
Do not plan your career around a weak relationship.

 

[mooglemania85]

Originally posted by: mad0maxx
Tell her to move out to you... if she says no find someone local ^_^

If you can get past the sloppy seconds.

 

[ShadowOfMyself]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: EagleKeeper
Do not plan your career around a weak relationship.

Excellent advice.

Weak being the keyword here