Rodney Dangerfield appreciation thread

[Iron Woode]

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

I'm so ugly ... my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could ... but he pulled through."

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

When I was born, I was so ugly that the doctor slapped my mother.

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. ... and no one showed up.

With my wife, I don't get no respect. The other night there was a knock on the front door. My wife told me to hide in the closet.

oh yeah, that's the good stuff

 

[Oil]

 

[effowe]

Bust a Rhyme Rodney.

 

[newb111]

classic

 

[QueBert]

Back To School is a GREAT MOVIE! Rodney owns so hard - RIP MAN. I love how all his material is quick one liners, easy to follow, easy to laugh at. He really was one of a kind

 

[UberNeuman]

"This is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?

Oh, it looks good on you though."

 

[anxi80]

Originally posted by: UberNeuman
"This is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?

Oh, it looks good on you though."

"hey, did somebody step on a duck?"

i also like his lines in 'back to school':

Are you fat? When you go jogging, do you leave potholes? When you make love, do you have to give directions? At the zoo, do the elephants throw you peanuts? Do you look at a menu and say 'OK!'?

ah hell, one more!

I read a book once, "100 Ways to Make Love." I ended up in traction, it was a misprint!

 

[andylawcc]

Originally posted by: anxi80

Are you fat? When you go jogging, do you leave potholes? When you make love, do you have to give directions? At the zoo, do the elephants throw you peanuts? Do you look at a menu and say 'OK!'?

HAHAHA goooooood one

ah hell, one more!

I read a book once, "100 Ways to Make Love." I ended up in traction, it was a misprint!

I didn't get that.

 

[UberNeuman]

Originally posted by: andylawcc

Originally posted by: anxi80

Are you fat? When you go jogging, do you leave potholes? When you make love, do you have to give directions? At the zoo, do the elephants throw you peanuts? Do you look at a menu and say 'OK!'?

HAHAHA goooooood one

ah hell, one more!

I read a book once, "100 Ways to Make Love." I ended up in traction, it was a misprint!

I didn't get that.

Self Love...

 

[SZLiao214]

I like it

 

[Goosemaster]

Originally posted by: Iron Woode


When I was born, I was so ugly that the doctor slapped my mother.

it invokes so many chewy and squishy and just laudable, appreciable, and generally warm fuzzy feeligns that everyone wants or should want to be experiencing at any give nti,e

 

[dennilfloss]

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

 

[TheVrolok]

Back to School was just on Comedy Central the other day... quality stuff. I'll have to go home and listen to one of his albums now. Rodney was great.

 

[madogvt]

My favorite:

"Were you scared the first time you had sex"?

"Yes, I was all alone"

 

[MercenaryForHire]

I stayed up late one night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

RIP Rodney.

- M4H

 

[RiverDog]

11/10 !!! Great stuff :laugh:

 

[spacejamz]

Caddyshack is one of the classic comedies of all time (definitely in my top 5)...hard to believe that move is nearly 30 years old...

"You scratched my anchor!!!"