Originally posted by: Kyle
Originally posted by: StormRider
I rated myself as a 9. In the past, I have only felt "comfortable" in class or work situations. So, if I was in a study group in school, then I was fine. And if I'm working on a project at work with a group of people, then I'm fine.
But when it starts getting "social" then I will have great anxiety because I don't know how to act or talk. I've never really had a social life (had to help out in my parent's restaurant) so I've got nothing to talk about socially. And I get very anxious when people start talking socially because I'm afraid they will ask a little about me and my answers will reveal that I have no friends or social life and it will be very embarrassing. When people start talking about their wives, husbands, or girlfriends I clam up -- I can't relate at all since I've never dated or anything. I'm 45 years old so things will get worse and worse.
I think the root cause of social anxiety is fear of embarrassment.
Right now, the thing that is worrying me is that I heard that security clearances must be renewed every 10 years and it's coming up on my 10th year at work. I had a hard time 10 years ago coming up with personal references and I haven't really kept in touch with the people I put down as personal references so I'm worrying about who to put down as personal references when my renewal comes up. Also, you have to put down a neighbor and I would feel really uncomfortable doing this because I don't really socialize with my neighbors -- I usually just say "hi" or wave and dart inside.
I can really relate to 99% of your post- I am very similar in a lot of ways.
I used to be a 9 maybe about 6+ years ago- I did see a shrink for about 6 months and actually had positive results- I felt incredibly comfterble talking to him, and found it helpful to be able to just talk on end about the anxiety I'd struggled with, and know that he understood (or at least was good at pretending =). He also challenged me to go outside my comfort level- during one session he insisted we walk to the 7-11 and that I make small talk w/ the cashier- I was terrified. Looking back, I did horrible . I actually pulled the "wow, the weather's really nice outside" thing. And because the psychiatrist knew that, like StormRider said, a lot of it stems from fear of embarrassment, he came up behind me and very loudly asked the casheir where they kept their bowties, or something like that.
Anyways- I did find it helpful. the other thing I found helpful was forcing myself to work in social situations- I worked at radio shack for a while, now I'm on the phone talking to people all day. I'd rate myself around a 6 now- still some anxiety, but nothing that really interferes much w/ my day to day life- fear of random encounters is gone, same w/ phone conversations which used to really bother me (calling in for pizza, tech support etc). There is one antidepressant that is approved for social anxiety disorder that I took for a few days, but decided against relying on pills. I'd still consider it if things got a lot worse, but I didnt think it was *quite* bad enough to justify medication.