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Believe it or not, that was one of my doubts that i once harbored. I used to ask myself, "What if this is it? Sin feels so good, why not indulge? And for a time, i did. Later i realized that that part of me was just making excuses to sin. I was being tempted and lied to by the devil. But, as i said earlier, there were many times when i doubted God, yet he has shown me time and time again that he is real and he is God. This put to rest any notion in my mind that there is no God. I know in my heart that there is a God. And i worship the one true living God. He has performed so many miracles in my life, and i cannot call them coincidences because God is in control, so that means there is no such thing as a coincidence. God planned it that way. I know that it is hard to swallow, but my way of thinking requires faith. But that is also the hardest part of it all: you gotta believe. There comes a point in your life when all your ambitions, all your goals, everything that you thought would make you happy in your life, doesn't. You feel empty inside, and no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, it won't go away. I'll tell you something: that emptiness was created by God so that in your desparity, you would search for God. I do not know when or if you will ever come to that realization, but i think most of you know what i am talking about. And most of you are probably still seeking to fill that hole. So you try to fill it with pleasures, with a gf/wife, with tv, or sports, or... computers... whatever it is that you idolize. You may think i am fanatical, and if you do, i say, thank you. Because unless i am different and set apart from this world, i will not know that i am truly a Christian. It says in Romans 12:2 "Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is: his good, pleasing and perfect will." Therefore, all of you that are hard-hearted towards the church because you felt unaccepted or rejected, just know that you were not exposed to Christianity, but rather a crude wanna-be religion. They have conformed to the world and fallen away from God. If the sermons are boring and the praise seems dead, the spirit is not moving in that church, and that church is dead. When you experience a true church, you will know it. If this is you, i encourage you to give God another chance. I know he has and will give you infinately more chances, because he has done so for me, even when i have spit in his face. >>
NeoHS:
Don't worry. I hope never to stop giving religion or God a chance. I hope to stay open. It just doesn't make since to me at the moment, so I don't believe. I am not anti-religion or anything. I work at a church and I get along with everyone there just about. Nice people trying to do nice things.
But I do have a suggestion for you (I hope this doesn't sound arrogant, because I do mean it in the best since): don't give up on doubting!. I hope to impart onto you the importance of doubt in faith (doh! Now I sound arrogant I don't have faith but am telling how to have it. Bear with me). How to say this... This is how I have worked it out in my mind. I have had many discussion with my mom, who is religious, and the pastors at the church where I work. I have come to understand (or so I believe) the importance of doubting in faith. If you have no doubt, then I don't think you have faith anymore. For if you don't doubt, than you have knowledge. Knowledge that God exists, that Gods existance is the truth. But if you have knowledge, then you don't have faith. For faith is believeing without knowing. So if you have knowledge (beliefe without doubt), then you no longer have faith. By having the "knowlege" that God exists, you no longer can have any growth in your faith. You already hold the "truth." But what is the "truth" that you hold? It is the truth that you have created. An image created by your mind, an idol of knowledge. No longer do you believe in God, but you believe insted in this image, this knowledge, this truth that you have created. You are worshiping this instead that which you should be worshiping. You know Doubting THomas? God/Jesus did not turn away from him for doubting. No, instead he gave him the evidence that he wanted, and Thomas' faith grew. I think that those greatest in their faith emulate doubting Thomas. I have seen people grow in faith by doubt.
This is what I hope to impart to you. I know the above might sound arrogant, considering my own lack of faith, but I do mean the best. Don't give up on doubting. Keep it with you and you will grow.
Please Give my message good thought, as I gave thought in writing it. Even if you disagree