Talk at Ebay - Get fired!

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ThaGrandCow

Diamond Member
Dec 27, 2001
7,956
2
0
I call schenanigans. I work at a call center and let me tell you how it really goes:


<customer babbling on about something stupid>
</me hits mute button on phone>
"YOU'RE A FVCKING STUPIDASS IDIOT!!! Kill yourself so you don't breed JACKASS!!!"
</me hits unmute button>
"yes sir, exactly"
</me hits mute button>
</me taps person next to me>
"yo dude, you gotta hear this dumbass! They are doing <insert stupidest thing you can think of here>!"
"MY IQ IS DROPPING JUST FROM HEARING YOU THINK YOU JACKASS!!!"
</me hits unmute button>
"Uh-huh, I see sir"
</me hits mute button>
"WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU DUMBASS?!?!?! ENGLISH MOTHERFVCKER... DO YOU SPEAK IT?!?!?!"
</me hits unmute button>
"Ok sir, so when you do <insert simple windows command> it says <insert standard "you're a fvcking moron, don't breed" error message> on the screen?"
</me hits mute button>
</me calls supervisor over>
"Jason! You have got to hear this one! Come here!"
</me hits unmute button>
"Ok sir, just so I'm clear on this, tell me the problem one more time"
</me has buddy in next pod and supervisor both 'Y'-jacked into headset listening, both of them laughing hysterically>
</me doesn't feel like dealing with future darwin award candidates>
</me hits unmute button>
"Ok sir, this is very easy to fix. You need to click on the <click>"
</me removes finger from the call instant disconnect button>
"ah damn, looks like the phone software is messing up again"
</me puts notes on customers account that while telling solution to problem callers phone disconnected>

EDIT: Yes, we really do this. If you're calling into any sort of call center and you've done something stupid... you know when it sounds like the phone just goes dead? When the white noise in the background of the person at the call center just stops and you get dead air? Yeah, that's us making fun of you with the phone on mute and calling other people over to hear.

Perfect example: "My Athlon chip caught fire so I threw water on it and it shorted out the motherboard and chip!!! I'll call AMD and see if I can get an RA tomorrow!" <oldschool ATOT'ers will remember what I'm talking about>
 

LordRaiden

Banned
Dec 10, 2002
2,358
0
0
It's not a fake. If it's on internalmemos.com it's been verified authentic. They don't post fake stuff.
 

Red

Diamond Member
Aug 22, 2002
3,704
0
0
I call this FAKE. I have dealt with ebay customer service many times and I have specifically asked to have phone support to speak with a supervisor and they explicitly told me they do not handle any customer service over the phone.
 

Kenazo

Lifer
Sep 15, 2000
10,429
1
81
crazy... at my workplace I think we do more talking than working. man, working at a radio station is the bomb!
 

isasir

Diamond Member
Aug 8, 2000
8,609
0
0
Originally posted by: LordRaiden
It's not a fake. If it's on internalmemos.com it's been verified authentic. They don't post fake stuff.

I'm pretty sure Pud's apologized in the past for posting a fake memo.
 

Pezman

Member
May 8, 2003
155
0
0
eBay
eBay internal communication - Talking at desks- Please read
Sent: Thursday, June 19, 2003 10:30 AM
To: DL-eBaySJC-all-R
Subject: eBay internal communication - Talking at desks- Please read

It has come to my attention that several employees are talking at their desks during scheduled work hours. I must convey the importance of NOT talking at your desk, or to your desk partner. Talking greatly decreases work productivity, and company morale.

If you need to talk to someone, please schedule a meeting room where you can talk, or use the break rooms. If you are caught talking at your desk, you will be escorted into a meeting room and questioned as to why you are talking, and if it is relevant to your job. If not, you may be subjected to disciplinary actions.

We want you to work hard at eBay, and enjoy your work. Please contact management if you have any questions.

Thank you,

Jody Rivers
Safeharbor Manager.

 

GtPrOjEcTX

Lifer
Jul 3, 2001
10,784
6
81
Talking greatly decreases work productivity, and company morale.

Is Jody Rivers a friggin idiot or what?
 

LordRaiden

Banned
Dec 10, 2002
2,358
0
0
Originally posted by: DorkBoy
I just called a friend of mine and that memo is not real
Well, I guess then that someone needs to tell the site owners so they can correct the issue. I know that once they know it's a fake, they'll remove it. They always do.

 
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