the mathematician vs the engineer

[JohnCU]

A mathematician and an engineer agree to a psychological experiment.
The mathematician is put in a chair in a large empty room and a
beautiful naked woman is placed on a bed at the other end of the room.

The psychologist explains, "You are to remain in your chair. Every
five minutes, I will move your chair to a position halfway between its
current location and the woman on the bed." The mathematician looks
at the psychologist in disgust. "What? I'm not going to go through
this. You know I'll never reach the bed!" And he gets up and storms
out.

The psychologist makes a note on his clipboard and ushers the
engineer in. He explains the situation, and the engineer's eyes
light up and he starts drooling. The psychologist is a bit confused.
"Don't you realize that you'll never reach her?" The engineer smiles
and replied, "Of course! But I'll get close enough for all practical
purposes!"

 

[StevenYoo]

A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician were sitting in a street cafe watching the crowd. Across the street they saw a man and a woman entering a building. Ten minutes they reappeared together with a third person.

- They have multiplied, said the biologist.
- Oh no, an error in measurement, the physicist sighed.
- If exactly one person enters the building now, it will be empty again, the mathematician concluded.

 

[FleshLight]

lim[ (1/2)^x] as x -> infinity = 0

 

[JohnCU]

Originally posted by: FleshLight
lim[ (1/2)^x] as x -> infinity = 0

will they live forever? and shouldn't you be using an infinite sum?

 

[TallBill]

Nice

 

[videogames101]

rofl

 

[Babbles]

Originally posted by: StevenYoo
A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician were sitting in a street cafe watching the crowd. Across the street they saw a man and a woman entering a building. Ten minutes they reappeared together with a third person.

- They have multiplied, said the biologist.
- Oh no, an error in measurement, the physicist sighed.
- If exactly one person enters the building now, it will be empty again, the mathematician concluded.

This is a good one.

 

[frostedflakes]

I lol'd.

 

[IHateMyJob2004]

9/10 pretty good. Geoduck is funnier though!

 

[Beller0ph1]

*Sigh* I love engineering.

<--ChE here

 

[Triumph]

Originally posted by: StevenYoo
A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician were sitting in a street cafe watching the crowd. Across the street they saw a man and a woman entering a building. Ten minutes they reappeared together with a third person.

- They have multiplied, said the biologist.
- Oh no, an error in measurement, the physicist sighed.
- If exactly one person enters the building now, it will be empty again, the mathematician concluded.

I don't quite get it (engineer here)

 

[zzuupp]

:beer:

 

[JohnCU]

Originally posted by: Triumph

Originally posted by: StevenYoo
A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician were sitting in a street cafe watching the crowd. Across the street they saw a man and a woman entering a building. Ten minutes they reappeared together with a third person.

- They have multiplied, said the biologist.
- Oh no, an error in measurement, the physicist sighed.
- If exactly one person enters the building now, it will be empty again, the mathematician concluded.

I don't quite get it (engineer here)

the building is at -1.

 

[Fenixgoon]

a mathematician, scientist, and engineer have 3 houses next to each other. each of their houses catches on fire.

the scientist awakes from bed and says "OH MY GOD, the house is ON FIRE!" so he grabs his graduated cylinder, measures the exact of water needed, puts out the fire, and goes back to bed.

the engineer wakes up in a similar fashion, but gets a bucket of water far exceeding what is necessary. he puts out the fire but soaks his carpet. nonetheless, he heads back to bed.

the mathematician wakes up, realizing the catastrophe before him, and scurries over to his desk. he grabs a pencil and paper and scribbles furiously. after a few seconds, he stands up and shouts, "I've proven I can put out the fire!!!!!" and heads back to bed.

 

[JohnCU]

Originally posted by: Fenixgoon
a mathematician, scientist, and engineer have 3 houses next to each other. each of their houses catches on fire.

the scientist awakes from bed and says "OH MY GOD, the house is ON FIRE!" so he grabs his graduated cylinder, measures the exact of water needed, puts out the fire, and goes back to bed.

the engineer wakes up in a similar fashion, but gets a bucket of water far exceeding what is necessary. he puts out the fire but soaks his carpet. nonetheless, he heads back to bed.

the mathematician wakes up, realizing the catastrophe before him, and scurries over to his desk. he grabs a pencil and paper and scribbles furiously. after a few seconds, he stands up and shouts, "I've proven I can put out the fire!!!!!" and heads back to bed.

hahaha :thumbsup:

 

[CraKaJaX]

Originally posted by: Fenixgoon
a mathematician, scientist, and engineer have 3 houses next to each other. each of their houses catches on fire.

the scientist awakes from bed and says "OH MY GOD, the house is ON FIRE!" so he grabs his graduated cylinder, measures the exact of water needed, puts out the fire, and goes back to bed.

the engineer wakes up in a similar fashion, but gets a bucket of water far exceeding what is necessary. he puts out the fire but soaks his carpet. nonetheless, he heads back to bed.

the mathematician wakes up, realizing the catastrophe before him, and scurries over to his desk. he grabs a pencil and paper and scribbles furiously. after a few seconds, he stands up and shouts, "I've proven I can put out the fire!!!!!" and heads back to bed.

:laugh:

Good one.

 

[91TTZ]

These aren't funny.

 

[zzuupp]

Originally posted by: Fenixgoon
a mathematician, scientist, and engineer have 3 houses next to each other. each of their houses catches on fire.

the scientist awakes from bed and says "OH MY GOD, the house is ON FIRE!" so he grabs his graduated cylinder, measures the exact of water needed, puts out the fire, and goes back to bed.

the engineer wakes up in a similar fashion, but gets a bucket of water far exceeding what is necessary. he puts out the fire but soaks his carpet. nonetheless, he heads back to bed.

the mathematician wakes up, realizing the catastrophe before him, and scurries over to his desk. he grabs a pencil and paper and scribbles furiously. after a few seconds, he stands up and shouts, "I've proven I can put out the fire!!!!!" and heads back to bed.

:beer:
excellent

 

[imported_Imp]

Heard one of those variations before. Bla bla bla, engineer likes it close enough.

 

[cirthix]

lol, these are linked from my school's math department page.

 

[StevenYoo]

Originally posted by: 91TTZ
These aren't funny.

oh yeah? your FACE isn't funny.

 

[Illusio]

Teacher: So y = r cubed over 3. And if you determine the rate of change in this curve correctly, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
[The class laughs except for Bart who appears confused.]
Teacher: Don't you get it, Bart? Derivative dy = 3 r squared dr over 3, or r squared dr, or r dr r.

 

[ConstipatedVigilante]

Text

 

[IronWing]

Three engineers take to discussing the nature of God. Of course they immediately agree that God is an engineer. But what kind of engineer? The electrical engineer speaks up first pointing out the electrical wonders of the human nervous system and that God surely must be an electrical engineer. The chemical engineer pleads his case next reviewing all the chemical processes that keep the body running from oxygen exchange in the lungs to energy extraction from food. Surely God is a chemical engineer. The civil engineer speaks last, stating matter of factly that God is a civil engineer. The electrical engineer and chemical engineer are shocked at the suggestion and demand to hear his evidence to which he replies ?Who else would put a waste water treatment plant in the middle of a beautiful recreation area??

 

[CraKaJaX]

A mathematician and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The mathematician leans over to the engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The mathematician persists and explains that the game is real easy and lots of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5."

Again, the engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The mathematician, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!"

This catches the engineer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The mathematician asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The engineer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the mathematician Now, it's the engineer's turn. He asks the mathematician "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down on four?"

The mathematician looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers all to no avail.

After about an hour, he wakes the engineer and hands him $50. The engineer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.

The mathematician then hits the engineer, saying, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?" The engineer calmly pulls out his wallet, hands the mathematician five bucks, and goes back to sleep.