Tick on my sack

[Agentbolt]

Next time just wait until it gets huge, and then burn it off with a cigar. That's what they do with leeches in the jungle. Burning the tick makes it pull its head out.

Granted, we might be talking a day or two before it's big enough for that to be safe, but what's he hurting down there? He's like your wacky roomate we all love to hate.

 

[Xylitol]

I found one on my foot at a person's house. I had to pull off the skin and the tick to get it completely out

 

[Scarpozzi]

Originally posted by: Fritzo
GAHHHH!!!!!!!!!! You just gave me hebee-gebee nightmares!!!

You've obviously never been to Vietnam.

 

[PottedMeat]

Yeah a tick on your genitals is bad. Dr. House pulled a fat tick of some girl's punanny - she was really messed up. Teevee is good.

 

[djheater]

Ticks crawl upwards until they can't anymore then bite. You can wear your pants tucked into your socks to avoid the crotch problem.

 

[DrPizza]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: DrPizza

Originally posted by: moshquerade
you're going to get lyme disease or elephantitis, take your pick.

Elephantitis? Oh no! If things in that area start enlarging, run to the nearest emergency room. Hey, have you seen the babe thread over in L&R?

why, what did i miss?

I think you missed the punchline.

 

[Mo0o]

Where do you live? Dont need to freak out about Lyme Disease, could very well be Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever or Relapsing Fever.

 

[Fritzo]

I have decided that "Tick on My Sack" will be the title of my next album.

 

[conehead433]

Should have used a blow torch.

 

[her209]

Its better than leech on my sack.

 

[The Bakery]

SQUIRM

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: Scarpozzi

Originally posted by: Fritzo
GAHHHH!!!!!!!!!! You just gave me hebee-gebee nightmares!!!

You've obviously never been to Vietnam.

I go there every time I go to sleep man.....EVERY TIME I GO TO SLEEP!!!!!!!

 

[AlienCraft]

Sounds like the name of a SMITH'S song.

 

[bignateyk]

Originally posted by: Quintox

Originally posted by: Xavier434
I have a funny story related to this.

A buddy of mine (let's call him Jack Schwartz) went to the Naval Academy which involved a large number of activities including various training in areas where ticks are plenty. It was routine for everyone to take time to check for ticks after training exercises. Well, after one of these exercises, my friend went to the head and started checking himself for ticks. He was alone at the time. After being satisfied that he had no ticks in any visible area, the thought crossed his mind that maybe one managed to get somewhere in the general area between his sack and ass crack. He decided that the best way to check was to get on the counter which had the usual sinks and mirror, drop his pants, turn around, and bend over to look between his legs at the mirror. Well, just as he bent over, one of his commanding officers stepped in and immediately yelled, "SCHWARTZ! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?!?" Jack then snapped into Attention as quickly as he could while standing on the counter and naked from the waist down as he replied, "SIR! CHECKING FOR TICKS SIR!". His officer then replied, "I see....carry on" and then walked out.

I giggled

Dont giggle. That actually happened to me. About a year ago I went camping and got pretty drunk. I woke up the next day, went home, and took a shower. I felt some pain on my taint, and thought I was getting a zit or something, and I felt around, and it felt kinda sharp.

So as best I could I propped one leg up on the counter, and got a look at my taint. I almost fainted. HOW THE FUCK DID I GET A TICK ON MY TAINT.

At this point, I had two options. 1) Go to the emergency room
2) Get my roommate to help me out.

I couldn't ask my roommate to bear that kind of mental anguish, and I was too embarassed to go to the emergency room.

So here's how it went down. I pounded about 5 shots of whiskey, then got out my pocket knife and a lighter. After 15 minutes, lots of bleeding and screaming, and stretching into positions no man should ever have to, I got the fucker out.

Thats the only tick i've ever had in my life, and the event has scarred me mentally and physically.

:|:frown:

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: bignateyk

Originally posted by: Quintox

Originally posted by: Xavier434
I have a funny story related to this.

A buddy of mine (let's call him Jack Schwartz) went to the Naval Academy which involved a large number of activities including various training in areas where ticks are plenty. It was routine for everyone to take time to check for ticks after training exercises. Well, after one of these exercises, my friend went to the head and started checking himself for ticks. He was alone at the time. After being satisfied that he had no ticks in any visible area, the thought crossed his mind that maybe one managed to get somewhere in the general area between his sack and ass crack. He decided that the best way to check was to get on the counter which had the usual sinks and mirror, drop his pants, turn around, and bend over to look between his legs at the mirror. Well, just as he bent over, one of his commanding officers stepped in and immediately yelled, "SCHWARTZ! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?!?" Jack then snapped into Attention as quickly as he could while standing on the counter and naked from the waist down as he replied, "SIR! CHECKING FOR TICKS SIR!". His officer then replied, "I see....carry on" and then walked out.

I giggled

Dont giggle. That actually happened to me. About a year ago I went camping and got pretty drunk. I woke up the next day, went home, and took a shower. I felt some pain on my taint, and thought I was getting a zit or something, and I felt around, and it felt kinda sharp.

So as best I could I propped one leg up on the counter, and got a look at my taint. I almost fainted. HOW THE FUCK DID I GET A TICK ON MY TAINT.

At this point, I had two options. 1) Go to the emergency room
2) Get my roommate to help me out.

I couldn't ask my roommate to bear that kind of mental anguish, and I was too embarassed to go to the emergency room.

So here's how it went down. I pounded about 5 shots of whiskey, then got out my pocket knife and a lighter. After 15 minutes, lots of bleeding and screaming, and stretching into positions no man should ever have to, I got the fucker out.

Thats the only tick i've ever had in my life, and the event has scarred me mentally and physically.

:|:frown:

You should write a children's book.

 

[ConstipatedVigilante]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Originally posted by: bignateyk

Originally posted by: Quintox

Originally posted by: Xavier434
I have a funny story related to this.

A buddy of mine (let's call him Jack Schwartz) went to the Naval Academy which involved a large number of activities including various training in areas where ticks are plenty. It was routine for everyone to take time to check for ticks after training exercises. Well, after one of these exercises, my friend went to the head and started checking himself for ticks. He was alone at the time. After being satisfied that he had no ticks in any visible area, the thought crossed his mind that maybe one managed to get somewhere in the general area between his sack and ass crack. He decided that the best way to check was to get on the counter which had the usual sinks and mirror, drop his pants, turn around, and bend over to look between his legs at the mirror. Well, just as he bent over, one of his commanding officers stepped in and immediately yelled, "SCHWARTZ! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?!?" Jack then snapped into Attention as quickly as he could while standing on the counter and naked from the waist down as he replied, "SIR! CHECKING FOR TICKS SIR!". His officer then replied, "I see....carry on" and then walked out.

I giggled

Dont giggle. That actually happened to me. About a year ago I went camping and got pretty drunk. I woke up the next day, went home, and took a shower. I felt some pain on my taint, and thought I was getting a zit or something, and I felt around, and it felt kinda sharp.

So as best I could I propped one leg up on the counter, and got a look at my taint. I almost fainted. HOW THE FUCK DID I GET A TICK ON MY TAINT.

At this point, I had two options. 1) Go to the emergency room
2) Get my roommate to help me out.

I couldn't ask my roommate to bear that kind of mental anguish, and I was too embarassed to go to the emergency room.

So here's how it went down. I pounded about 5 shots of whiskey, then got out my pocket knife and a lighter. After 15 minutes, lots of bleeding and screaming, and stretching into positions no man should ever have to, I got the fucker out.

Thats the only tick i've ever had in my life, and the event has scarred me mentally and physically.

:|:frown:

You should right a children's book.

You should read one.

 

[Eeezee]

Originally posted by: TehMac
Uh dude...I'd get that shit checked out. And, if you snap it out like that, it's head is still stuck in your sack...you plucked off its torso and abdomen, but its mouth is still in your sack. What you should have done is taken some tweezers and taken it out. Either way, go to the doctor asap.

A match or a lighter works the best. That's assuming you're man enough to hold the flame next to your genitals.

 

[wwswimming]

i'm a little disappointed.

this is what i was expecting

"So this morning (about an hour ago, I'm on spring break), I get into the shower and - lo and behold - there's a weird black thing on my sack. I start freaking out like it's the head of a tumor or something, so I peel it off and it's a fucking tick! The little bastards really do go everywhere! Right now he's inside my shower drain (he seemed pretty dead when I pulled him off).

Then, well, when I went to the doctor to have them remove it, the nurse asked to see it. And, I ended up getting some major wood.
What happened next, I could not repeat, as this is a family website."

oh well.

 

[pyonir]

Originally posted by: ConstipatedVigilante

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Originally posted by: bignateyk

Originally posted by: Quintox

Originally posted by: Xavier434
I have a funny story related to this.

A buddy of mine (let's call him Jack Schwartz) went to the Naval Academy which involved a large number of activities including various training in areas where ticks are plenty. It was routine for everyone to take time to check for ticks after training exercises. Well, after one of these exercises, my friend went to the head and started checking himself for ticks. He was alone at the time. After being satisfied that he had no ticks in any visible area, the thought crossed his mind that maybe one managed to get somewhere in the general area between his sack and ass crack. He decided that the best way to check was to get on the counter which had the usual sinks and mirror, drop his pants, turn around, and bend over to look between his legs at the mirror. Well, just as he bent over, one of his commanding officers stepped in and immediately yelled, "SCHWARTZ! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?!?" Jack then snapped into Attention as quickly as he could while standing on the counter and naked from the waist down as he replied, "SIR! CHECKING FOR TICKS SIR!". His officer then replied, "I see....carry on" and then walked out.

I giggled

Dont giggle. That actually happened to me. About a year ago I went camping and got pretty drunk. I woke up the next day, went home, and took a shower. I felt some pain on my taint, and thought I was getting a zit or something, and I felt around, and it felt kinda sharp.

So as best I could I propped one leg up on the counter, and got a look at my taint. I almost fainted. HOW THE FUCK DID I GET A TICK ON MY TAINT.

At this point, I had two options. 1) Go to the emergency room
2) Get my roommate to help me out.

I couldn't ask my roommate to bear that kind of mental anguish, and I was too embarassed to go to the emergency room.

So here's how it went down. I pounded about 5 shots of whiskey, then got out my pocket knife and a lighter. After 15 minutes, lots of bleeding and screaming, and stretching into positions no man should ever have to, I got the fucker out.

Thats the only tick i've ever had in my life, and the event has scarred me mentally and physically.

:|:frown:

You should right a children's book.

You should read one.

BUUUURRRRRNNNN!!!! lmao

 

[TehMac]

Originally posted by: Eeezee

Originally posted by: TehMac
Uh dude...I'd get that shit checked out. And, if you snap it out like that, it's head is still stuck in your sack...you plucked off its torso and abdomen, but its mouth is still in your sack. What you should have done is taken some tweezers and taken it out. Either way, go to the doctor asap.

A match or a lighter works the best. That's assuming you're man enough to hold the flame next to your genitals.

If something goes wrong, you won't be much of a man afterwards.

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: ConstipatedVigilante

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Originally posted by: bignateyk

Originally posted by: Quintox

Originally posted by: Xavier434
I have a funny story related to this.

A buddy of mine (let's call him Jack Schwartz) went to the Naval Academy which involved a large number of activities including various training in areas where ticks are plenty. It was routine for everyone to take time to check for ticks after training exercises. Well, after one of these exercises, my friend went to the head and started checking himself for ticks. He was alone at the time. After being satisfied that he had no ticks in any visible area, the thought crossed his mind that maybe one managed to get somewhere in the general area between his sack and ass crack. He decided that the best way to check was to get on the counter which had the usual sinks and mirror, drop his pants, turn around, and bend over to look between his legs at the mirror. Well, just as he bent over, one of his commanding officers stepped in and immediately yelled, "SCHWARTZ! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?!?" Jack then snapped into Attention as quickly as he could while standing on the counter and naked from the waist down as he replied, "SIR! CHECKING FOR TICKS SIR!". His officer then replied, "I see....carry on" and then walked out.

I giggled

Dont giggle. That actually happened to me. About a year ago I went camping and got pretty drunk. I woke up the next day, went home, and took a shower. I felt some pain on my taint, and thought I was getting a zit or something, and I felt around, and it felt kinda sharp.

So as best I could I propped one leg up on the counter, and got a look at my taint. I almost fainted. HOW THE FUCK DID I GET A TICK ON MY TAINT.

At this point, I had two options. 1) Go to the emergency room
2) Get my roommate to help me out.

I couldn't ask my roommate to bear that kind of mental anguish, and I was too embarassed to go to the emergency room.

So here's how it went down. I pounded about 5 shots of whiskey, then got out my pocket knife and a lighter. After 15 minutes, lots of bleeding and screaming, and stretching into positions no man should ever have to, I got the fucker out.

Thats the only tick i've ever had in my life, and the event has scarred me mentally and physically.

:|:frown:

You should right a children's book.

You should read one.

Haha...I see what you did there. I had a typo, and because of this you're taking my comment and using it to imply I don't have the basic education to know the difference between write and right.

Yep, that's a good one there. Comedy gold, it is.

 

[destrekor]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Originally posted by: ConstipatedVigilante

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Originally posted by: bignateyk

Originally posted by: Quintox

Originally posted by: Xavier434
I have a funny story related to this.

A buddy of mine (let's call him Jack Schwartz) went to the Naval Academy which involved a large number of activities including various training in areas where ticks are plenty. It was routine for everyone to take time to check for ticks after training exercises. Well, after one of these exercises, my friend went to the head and started checking himself for ticks. He was alone at the time. After being satisfied that he had no ticks in any visible area, the thought crossed his mind that maybe one managed to get somewhere in the general area between his sack and ass crack. He decided that the best way to check was to get on the counter which had the usual sinks and mirror, drop his pants, turn around, and bend over to look between his legs at the mirror. Well, just as he bent over, one of his commanding officers stepped in and immediately yelled, "SCHWARTZ! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?!?" Jack then snapped into Attention as quickly as he could while standing on the counter and naked from the waist down as he replied, "SIR! CHECKING FOR TICKS SIR!". His officer then replied, "I see....carry on" and then walked out.

I giggled

Dont giggle. That actually happened to me. About a year ago I went camping and got pretty drunk. I woke up the next day, went home, and took a shower. I felt some pain on my taint, and thought I was getting a zit or something, and I felt around, and it felt kinda sharp.

So as best I could I propped one leg up on the counter, and got a look at my taint. I almost fainted. HOW THE FUCK DID I GET A TICK ON MY TAINT.

At this point, I had two options. 1) Go to the emergency room
2) Get my roommate to help me out.

I couldn't ask my roommate to bear that kind of mental anguish, and I was too embarassed to go to the emergency room.

So here's how it went down. I pounded about 5 shots of whiskey, then got out my pocket knife and a lighter. After 15 minutes, lots of bleeding and screaming, and stretching into positions no man should ever have to, I got the fucker out.

Thats the only tick i've ever had in my life, and the event has scarred me mentally and physically.

:|:frown:

You should right a children's book.

You should read one.

Haha...I see what you did there. I had a typo, and because of this you're taking my comment and using it to imply I don't have the basic education to know the difference between write and right.

Yep, that's a good one there. Comedy gold, it is.

oh come on. it was :laugh:able

it could have been worse ya know.

+

 

[ConstipatedVigilante]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Originally posted by: ConstipatedVigilante

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Originally posted by: bignateyk

Originally posted by: Quintox

Originally posted by: Xavier434
I have a funny story related to this.

A buddy of mine (let's call him Jack Schwartz) went to the Naval Academy which involved a large number of activities including various training in areas where ticks are plenty. It was routine for everyone to take time to check for ticks after training exercises. Well, after one of these exercises, my friend went to the head and started checking himself for ticks. He was alone at the time. After being satisfied that he had no ticks in any visible area, the thought crossed his mind that maybe one managed to get somewhere in the general area between his sack and ass crack. He decided that the best way to check was to get on the counter which had the usual sinks and mirror, drop his pants, turn around, and bend over to look between his legs at the mirror. Well, just as he bent over, one of his commanding officers stepped in and immediately yelled, "SCHWARTZ! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?!?" Jack then snapped into Attention as quickly as he could while standing on the counter and naked from the waist down as he replied, "SIR! CHECKING FOR TICKS SIR!". His officer then replied, "I see....carry on" and then walked out.

I giggled

Dont giggle. That actually happened to me. About a year ago I went camping and got pretty drunk. I woke up the next day, went home, and took a shower. I felt some pain on my taint, and thought I was getting a zit or something, and I felt around, and it felt kinda sharp.

So as best I could I propped one leg up on the counter, and got a look at my taint. I almost fainted. HOW THE FUCK DID I GET A TICK ON MY TAINT.

At this point, I had two options. 1) Go to the emergency room
2) Get my roommate to help me out.

I couldn't ask my roommate to bear that kind of mental anguish, and I was too embarassed to go to the emergency room.

So here's how it went down. I pounded about 5 shots of whiskey, then got out my pocket knife and a lighter. After 15 minutes, lots of bleeding and screaming, and stretching into positions no man should ever have to, I got the fucker out.

Thats the only tick i've ever had in my life, and the event has scarred me mentally and physically.

:|:frown:

You should right a children's book.

You should read one.

Haha...I see what you did there. I had a typo, and because of this you're taking my comment and using it to imply I don't have the basic education to know the difference between write and right.

Yep, that's a good one there. Comedy gold, it is.

Feel better?

I wonder how long until a mod gets pissed about these nested quotes...

 

[moshquerade]

any swelling yet?

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: DrPizza

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: DrPizza

Originally posted by: moshquerade
you're going to get lyme disease or elephantitis, take your pick.

Elephantitis? Oh no! If things in that area start enlarging, run to the nearest emergency room. Hey, have you seen the babe thread over in L&R?

why, what did i miss?

I think you missed the punchline.

yep.

*whoosh* :Q

only the balls don't enlarge when they get turned on, do they? they get tighter, but not bigger, right?