Unixfreak is right

[Urinal Mint]

<< I hope so. You know, it doesnt just work for getting laid,[/b] you need respect in a relationship also. You wont &quot;get the girl&quot; if she thinks of you &quot;like a brother&quot; or a &quot;really good freind&quot;. If you are a bit of a jerk, she will think she &quot;earned&quot; you, or &quot;changed&quot; you in some way, &quot;settled you down&quot; or whatever, and will respect you in your relationship. So nice guys dont win in that way, either, if you are super nice to her when you meet, she is going to think that you are super nice to every girl, and being with you wont make her feel &quot;special&quot;. It makes sense. If you are &quot;unattainable&quot; in some way, that increases your property value, in a woman's eyes. Ask any Honest woman. She'll tell ya. >>



OK, I just e-mailed my best girl friend (who I almost had a relationship with, have fooled around with, and wouldn't trade for anything in the world), with your very statement, and asked her opinion. She doesn't pull punches... and here is her reply:

&quot;Ahem, a woman (make sure she's a woman and not a girl... they are different)
is turned off by a man who is over bearing. Now, there is the standard 2-3
day rule on calling a girl, but let's face it... we play games until we are
tired, and when we are tired, we usually don't date but rather, &quot;scout&quot;
until we find &quot;THE ONE&quot;. So, the game entails the two people showing
interest in each other just enough to keep them around, without seeming too
overbearing. Now, men and women do this for fear of rejection. God forbid
anyone would put themselves out there, lay it all out on the line and just
admit that they are interested... take it or leave it. That's where guys go
wrong. Most guys are guilty of the jerk factor because they keep the game up
longer than women do (a sign of most men's insecurity, fear and immaturity)
and really make the girl work for them (so to speak). Men need this from
women to make them feel more like, well, a man. And this helps them feel
more confident in pursuing the relationship because they get to save face
around their friends by avoiding looking like a complete pu$$y to the
guys... It's the whole, hey, I was a jerk and this chick still wants me...
yeah, I guess I'll date her. I mean, how many times have you truly envied a
guy who started dating a hot chick (who was completely wrapped up in him)
and you knew the guy was completely mushy about her and sweet and everything
just to win her over? You don't see that often. Listen, in my opinion, the
girls who deal with a lot of crap and with jerks in the beginning are just
setting themselves up to deal with them being $hitty later. It's not worth
it. I don't agree with all of &quot;the rules&quot;, but I do have to admit that, if a
MAN is truly interested in a WOMAN, he needs to cut the bull, put it out
there... and see what happens. You actually save face this way because, if
she's not interested, it's over quickly and he doesn't have to look like an
idiot for it. Believe me, in Dallas, chivalry is not DEAD... and if you find
a woman who thinks it is... she's a lesbian.&quot;

I think your argument has been rebuked by someone who has more sense than either of us in this situation.

 

[Tauren]

<<How the hell do you equate not being a wuss with being an as*hole?>>

Where did I say @sshole?
I'm saying find a happy medium between being an ego-maniacal male chauvinist and a mama's boy. And I think you are better leaning towards the @sshole. I do open doors; pull out chairs, help her put her coat on, tell her she's beautiful, buy flowers/gifts, but I won't be anyones dupe. I can hold 'favors' too, so she would never think of using sex as a weapon to get what she wants, she knows I will hold out longer and then eventually walk. Not being shallow, but if you sre in a relationship and one of you starts using 'things' that are part of th relationship to get what you want, sorry I DON&quot;T EVER play games. That's why my fiancee is 7 years older than me, I got sick of all the games younger women have a tendancy to play.

 

[Urinal Mint]

Amen, brother. Mature women don't play games.

 

[UnixFreak]

<< I think your argument has been rebuked by someone who has more sense than either of us in this situation. >>



Depends on how you look at it. No &quot;friend&quot; is going to tell you how she really feels on this issue. If she told you &quot;i really like jerks, I cant help it&quot; and &quot;I use nice guys to get things from them&quot; how would you feel? I am not saying this is the case, I am just saying this is not solid proof.



<< who I almost had a relationship with, have fooled around with, and wouldn't trade for anything in the world >>



I'd be willing to bet you wouldnt elaborate on that. Is she currently banging someone?

 

[Urinal Mint]

I'll field all those questions, and I'll be honest.


<< Depends on how you look at it. No &quot;friend&quot; is going to tell you how she really feels on this issue. If she told you &quot;i really like jerks, I cant help it&quot; and &quot;I use nice guys to get things from them&quot; how would you feel? I am not saying this is the case, I am just saying this is not solid proof. >>


Actually, this friend always tells me how she feels... and that's why we're so close. She doesn't lie to me, and if you come back and try to tell me that I don't know her well enough, then you obviously don't have a very close girl friend in your life that you can trust with your darkest secrets and be trusted with hers. Fortunately, I do.

If she told me that she was attracted to jerks, it wouldn't bother me. That's her, and I'm not one to judge her for what she does if she's happy. If she wants to use a nice guy to get stuff, I don't care. She's my friend, and so long as she doesn't use me or abuse me (which she doesn't), everything is fine.

She has dated one jerk that I know of, that being a best friend of mine. He was more of a jerk in the sense that she seduced him because he was a nice guy, successful, and athletic, and then he turned around and told her he wanted a girlfriend, then the next week came over and told her to get out of his life. Basically my boy went psycho, and in turn looked like an ass.

I'll agree with you that my friend doesn't present solid evidence, but likewise, neither do you. Don't take that to mean I'm calling you a lying bastard... I'm just sticking to my guns from before, saying that there is room for both and that both exist. Otherwise Darwin would've kicked in by now and all guys would be assholes or all guys would be genuine.



<< I'd be willing to bet you wouldnt elaborate on that. Is she currently banging someone? >>


Actually, I will. She has a boyfriend now... I've known the guy for a few years. We're not tight, but I do know for a fact that he is a genuinely nice person that doesn't play games. The reason we never dated is that we decided our friendship was too good to try to make it anything else. I'm happy having her as my closest friend, and she's happy with our relationship the same way. You don't have to be having steady sex with a girl to have a meaningful relationship.

 

[SirFshAlot]

Tauren,

<<How the hell do you equate not being a wuss with being an as*hole?>>

Where did I say @sshole?

you didn't, Unix did
he equated your statement about not being a wuss with his philosophy of being an as*hole

 

[Tauren]

I thought you were referring to me.

 

[UnixFreak]

<< our friendship was too good to try to make it anything else >>




That was her decision, and you know it. Just proves the rule, scroll back to page 1 or 2 where I rant about getting &quot;shelved&quot; as a freind, sucks, doesnt it. The two worlds thing is getting kinda old too, you keep talking about &quot;screwing girls and leaving them&quot; and I am getting to lazy to cut and paste that stupid paragraph... get the hint.



<< then you obviously don't have a very close girl friend in your life >>



you are right, because I dont have some girl dangling a carrot in my face. Its freindship based on a false hope, anytime you are freinds with a girl, you deep down want to pork her. And your whole freindship is based on you wanting to pork her, and her giving little &quot;hints&quot; to keep you thinking there is a chance. Its a game I dont play, I have plenty of &quot;buddies' who I can hang out with, watch a game of football, and fart around. I dont need some girl freind who just wants to felch attention, money, and other favors from me, who tells me all about her sexual experiences with another guy. No thanks.

 

[Keribeth]

I used to date jerks. I dated them becasue thats all I knew. Honestly I didnt give many nice guys the chance to show me otherwise. But you know what? That was high school/early college. Since then I grew up alot. i met a wonderful person that treated me like I deserved. I had alot of trouble getting used to it. It just wasnt comfortable. But I have since realized I deserve to be treated with respect.

I meet guys now, the arrogant ones, and you know right away they are just acting like that to play the part. You can see right through them...really pathetic. There's a big difference between confidence and a faked a$$hole attitude. Problem is, your never gonna find the right girl pretending to be a jerk. The girls that go for that (for the most part) arent ready for a serious relationship.

 

[yllus]

<<

<< what is this about again? >>


This is my interpretation:

He is cool and i'm kissing his ass
Hey man you're stupid for saying that
I am cool and I am a chick magnet
You're not a chick magnet you're a i love you
I am married and not a chick magnet any longer
You're married? You're stupid
I am jealous of your marriage.
I bang married chicks for sport.
What? she's a woman?

That brings us to where we are now. >>


Best post in this thread by FAR.

 

[Urinal Mint]

I have a feeling some girl really fvcked you in the head at one time, because you deny any opportunity to have a meaningful relationship with one, be it friendship or love.


<< That was her decision, and you know it. Just proves the rule, scroll back to page 1 or 2 where I rant about getting &quot;shelved&quot; as a freind, sucks, doesnt it. The two worlds thing is getting kinda old too, you keep talking about &quot;screwing girls and leaving them&quot; and I am getting to lazy to cut and paste that stupid paragraph... get the hint. >>


How do you know what the circumstances are? Ever think it was a mutual decision? I've known the girl since I was 4... think I was wanting in her wonder woman panties back then? Grow up, man.


<< you are right, because I dont have some girl dangling a carrot in my face. Its freindship based on a false hope, anytime you are freinds with a girl, you deep down want to pork her. And your whole freindship is based on you wanting to pork her, and her giving little &quot;hints&quot; to keep you thinking there is a chance. Its a game I dont play, I have plenty of &quot;buddies' who I can hang out with, watch a game of football, and fart around. I dont need some girl freind who just wants to felch attention, money, and other favors from me, who tells me all about her sexual experiences with another guy. No thanks. >>


You're living in a deprived, sad world then. Everything you have to say about women involves sex, more or less. Yeah, you threw in respect at one point, but I think that's only because you think a girl has to respect you in order for you to have sex with her. There is a different level out there, and I'm guessing you just don't comprehend what it is.

If a guy is nice and has girl friends, you say that he's being lied to. You're telling me I want to have sex with all the friends I have that are girls. I have some friends that are girls that I wouldn't even screw with your dick. Sometimes girls want a real male friend that isn't a homo.

I see your argument, and I realize that your theory has its place in the world, but you still fail to acknowledge mine. Either you live in denial that something else other than your theory exists, or you're just too stubborn to admit that we're both right in certain situations. It's OK man, it's not a sign of weakness to agree to disagree and part friends.

 

[Urinal Mint]

<< I used to date jerks. I dated them becasue thats all I knew. Honestly I didnt give many nice guys the chance to show me otherwise. But you know what? That was high school/early college. Since then I grew up alot. i met a wonderful person that treated me like I deserved. I had alot of trouble getting used to it. It just wasnt comfortable. But I have since realized I deserve to be treated with respect.

I meet guys now, the arrogant ones, and you know right away they are just acting like that to play the part. You can see right through them...really pathetic. There's a big difference between confidence and a faked a$$hole attitude. Problem is, your never gonna find the right girl pretending to be a jerk. The girls that go for that (for the most part) arent ready for a serious relationship. >>


Thank you jebus, a real female finally strengthens my opinion!

I don't think women are comfortable dating a nice guy because they've been raised to think all guys are jerks... just some less jerky than others.

 

[UnixFreak]

<< If a guy is nice and has girl friends, you say that he's being lied to. >>



He is. He is merely there to provide needed attention, and other favors, based on the
pretense that there will be sexual activity in the future. Most women know this, and thats why they
&quot;hint around&quot; to keep you hooked. As I said, most honest women will tell you, they &quot;shelve&quot; guys they arent attracted to, by keeping them as &quot;freinds&quot;





<< You're telling me I want to have sex with all the friends I have that are girls >>



If any of these girls told you &quot;I want to have sex, right here, right now&quot; you would. Unless you are gay.



<< It's OK man, it's not a sign of weakness to agree to disagree and part friends. >>



Fine with me. But I am right, as the thread says

 

[Urinal Mint]

<< Fine with me. But I am right, as the thread says >>


Heh, now you're just being a jackass. Believe what you want... thankfully your rules don't apply in the circles I run.

 

[SirFshAlot]

UnixFreak,

I dont need some girl freind who just wants to felch attention, money, and other favors from me, who tells me all about her sexual experiences with another guy. No thanks

then;

<< If a guy is nice and has girl friends, you say that he's being lied to. >>

He is. He is merely there to provide needed attention, and other favors, based on the
pretense that there will be sexual activity in the future.

it's all very clear now

what your definition of a friend has come to mean from your own personal reference point of experience has led you to a different term than what others think of as a friend


so you have been mistreated by females who you thought were your &quot;friends&quot;, and now you have this twisted, emotionally unhealthy, scorned attitude about all women


now, you consider this forum as your psychiatric board of pardons to help validate your pathological malcontent

classic

 

[UnixFreak]

As I stated before (I repeat myself often for those who are...lets say, slow) I dont make this stuff up. My beliefs on this subject stem from mistakes I have made. So you are absolutely right. I have made the mistakes, my freinds have made the same mistakes, and we have learned from them. I try and help people out, and I get attacked, because I wont tell people what they want to hear, I tell it how it is, and make no apologies. Dont blame me for a system that was in place long before I was born.

 

[SirFshAlot]

Why does this remind me of Northern Exposure when the flaming homosexual toasts Maurice at a dinner saying &quot;you're a homophobe and a bigot&quot;, and Maurice takes it as a compliment?

Or in Fast Times at Ridgemeont High when Mr. Head sarcastically chides Spicolli over the &quot;I don't know&quot; reference, and Spicolli grins as though he were truly praised?

 

[UnixFreak]

why do I get the feeling that the title of this thread is accruate?

Um... because I ask a question, I get a question. I make a statement, I get an insult. I state something 400 times, I get everybody's twist on what I said, thrown back at me. I make a point, and to argue it, people flounder. &quot;thank you come again&quot;

 

[COWWATCHER]

w0w this is a stupid topic...

 

[Sweetheart]

I cant believe the wasted time here.... almost a week, listening to the rantings of a crackpot preacher!!

 

[Doboji]

Bump.... I want to be frustrated further by Unixfreaks ignorance... I was out sick yesterday.. and I missed the fun

Translation of Unixfreaks mantra: All women are shallow freaks, looking to get laid, their only interest in men is their usage. I.E. usage of cute guys for sex, usage of friendly guys for self affirmation. Unixfreak believes that by continuously challenging a woman by not allowing her an emotional foothold, you can maintain a relationship. If you give her an emotional foothold she will mindrape you, and cheat on you with the more &quot;challenging&quot; men... like Mr. Unixfreak...

Sounds to me like Unixfreak is afraid to put his heart in the blender of love. Fair enough.... but jesus man... stop calling other people losers for being willing to take risks....

-Max

 

[UnixFreak]

<< I cant believe the wasted time here.... almost a week, listening to the rantings of a crackpot preacher!! >>



Next contestant, please. Prove the title of this thread is wrong...

 

[Urinal Mint]

Man, people keep dragging these up from the dead.

Oh hell, now I'm guilty of it.

 

[Urinal Mint]

<<

<< I cant believe the wasted time here.... almost a week, listening to the rantings of a crackpot preacher!! >>



Next contestant, please. Prove the title of this thread is wrong... >>


Heh, I'll say it again, there's no way to decisively prove it &quot;wrong,&quot; per se, but likewise it can't be proven right either.

It's a quandary!

 

[UnixFreak]

<< Oh hell, now I'm guilty of it. >>



So am I