Wedding problems...

[AdamSnow]

So, as a lot of you know I'm getting married June 10th of this year... Ever since last August we have had a commitment from a pastor that he would marry us and we would be able to use his church for the ceremony.

All invitations are printed & sent, everything is in place... and last night... two months before the day, he calls my Fiancée and informs her that he will not marry us unless I convert to their religion.

So now I'm in quite a situation... I'm being forced into something that I don't want to do... He states that he's not forcing me into anything, of course... but leaving it for two months before the day and screwing me on everything is all but forcing me to do something right?

What a great guy... :thumbsdown:

The religion is Baptist by the way... The problem is that I don't believe in any religion at all, not that I'm a different one and he wants me to switch over...

EDIT: Problem has been resolved... I emailed the pastor, sorted things out... I'm no longer being forced into anythnig... Thanks for all posts everyone!

 

[db]

Totally blackmail!
This guy is a total manipulator. He cannot be trusted. He gets away with this kind of behavior b/c he is a "minister".
Tell him you want reimbursement for the invitations.

 

[captains]

change pastors and change location. as long as your reception is at a different place. see if u can get use of a nice park or something for the ceremony with a pastor/justice of the peace that will not force u to do anything

 

[crystal]

That is very low for someone whom wears the cloth.

 

[imported_Phil]

I'm going to play devil's advocate and say that maybe you shouldn't get married in a place of religious worship if you don't believe in said religion.

 

[isasir]

Wow. I have nightmares of the same coming true for me. (I'm getting married in a Catholic church, but I'm not Catholic).

I hope everything works out for you!

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: db

Totally blackmail!
Tell him you want reimbursement for the invitations.

 

[Jzero]

Is that commitment in writing?

Frankly, I'd ask him what would Jesus do. Jesus didn't say "OK, guys: break up the loaves and fishes and distribute them to the multitude. But don't give anyone any food until he acknowledges My role as The Son Of God. Even if it's obviously insincere, that's OK. Just make them say it, and then give them a bite to eat."

I'm getting a little frustrated at having to call my religion the same name as so many other morons.

 

[AdamSnow]

Originally posted by: db

Totally blackmail!
Tell him you want reimbursement for the invitations.

Oh, that's what I said... but of course, My Fiancée grew up with him as her Pastor, and refuses to hear anything of it...

 

[mcvickj]

Sounds like a pretty screwed up guy if he is trying to force his religion on you. Is two months enough time to find a new location and get everything reprinted?

 

[DeadByDawn]

Wow

 

[aircooled]

that is fvcked up.

you could just lie and say you will.

 

[ngvepforever2]

since you don't believe in any religion, you shouldn't care, just convert and then after you got married convert back to what you were

Regards

ng

 

[captains]

another thing to try is mention that you are considering giving a bigger donation from the one agreed upon for the ceremony. to "buy" your way out of converting

 

[QED]

Originally posted by: AdamSnow
So, as a lot of you know I'm getting married June 10th of this year... Ever since last August we have had a commitment from a pastor that he would marry us and we would be able to use his church for the ceremony.

All invitations are printed & sent, everything is in place... and last night... two months before the day, he calls my Fiancée and informs her that he will not marry us unless I convert to their religion.

So now I'm in quite a situation... I'm being forced into something that I don't want to do... He states that he's not forcing me into anything, of course... but leaving it for two months before the day and screwing me on everything is all but forcing me to do something right?

What a great guy... :thumbsdown:

The religion is Baptist by the way... The problem is that I don't believe in any religion at all, not that I'm a different one and he wants me to switch over...

That really sucks what he did to you... if he really doesn't like marrying non-believers in his church, he should've been more upfront about it from the very beginning.

However, I hope you don't take offense but I have to question why someone who claims to have no religion at all would WANT to get married by a religious pastor in a religious church. If you don't believe in religion, why even make it a component of the most important day of your life? Why not just find a nice venue and hire a justice of the peace?

 

[Feldenak]

Wow, my wife and I had no problems with our pastor(he was a retired Baptist pastor). My wife and I are not overly religious (at least not organized religion). I was raised Episcopal and my wife was raised Baptist.

Edit: I should mention we were not married in a church...it was an outdoor wedding.

 

[Gunslinger08]

Originally posted by: MathMan

Originally posted by: AdamSnow
So, as a lot of you know I'm getting married June 10th of this year... Ever since last August we have had a commitment from a pastor that he would marry us and we would be able to use his church for the ceremony.

All invitations are printed & sent, everything is in place... and last night... two months before the day, he calls my Fiancée and informs her that he will not marry us unless I convert to their religion.

So now I'm in quite a situation... I'm being forced into something that I don't want to do... He states that he's not forcing me into anything, of course... but leaving it for two months before the day and screwing me on everything is all but forcing me to do something right?

What a great guy... :thumbsdown:

The religion is Baptist by the way... The problem is that I don't believe in any religion at all, not that I'm a different one and he wants me to switch over...

That really sucks what he did to you... if he really doesn't like marrying non-believers in his church, he should've been more upfront about it from the very beginning.

However, I hope you don't take offense but I have to question why someone who claims to have no religion at all would WANT to get married by a religious pastor in a religious church. If you don't believe in religion, why even make it a component of the most important day of your life? Why not just find a nice venue and hire a justice of the peace?

Sounds like his wife-to-be is Baptist. Women = wedding planners.

 

[crystal]

Originally posted by: Phil
I'm going to play devil's advocate and say that maybe you shouldn't get married in a place of religious worship if you don't believe in said religion.

Could it be his future wife wants to marry there? But no matter what his reason(s) for marrying there, that pastor should not blackmail him like that.

 

[Krazy4Real]

Just fix his computer or something... he'll feel like he owes you.

 

[radioouman]

Just use their facility and have another pastor marry you.

 

[AdamSnow]

Originally posted by: captains
change pastors and change location. as long as your reception is at a different place. see if u can get use of a nice park or something for the ceremony with a pastor/justice of the peace that will not force u to do anything

While I'd be okay with that, my Fiancée wants a wedding in a church... so I'll do pretty much whatever she wants to make it her special day...

I just don't want to be forced into anything.

 

[Feldenak]

Originally posted by: joshsquall

Originally posted by: MathMan

Originally posted by: AdamSnow
So, as a lot of you know I'm getting married June 10th of this year... Ever since last August we have had a commitment from a pastor that he would marry us and we would be able to use his church for the ceremony.

All invitations are printed & sent, everything is in place... and last night... two months before the day, he calls my Fiancée and informs her that he will not marry us unless I convert to their religion.

So now I'm in quite a situation... I'm being forced into something that I don't want to do... He states that he's not forcing me into anything, of course... but leaving it for two months before the day and screwing me on everything is all but forcing me to do something right?

What a great guy... :thumbsdown:

The religion is Baptist by the way... The problem is that I don't believe in any religion at all, not that I'm a different one and he wants me to switch over...

That really sucks what he did to you... if he really doesn't like marrying non-believers in his church, he should've been more upfront about it from the very beginning.

However, I hope you don't take offense but I have to question why someone who claims to have no religion at all would WANT to get married by a religious pastor in a religious church. If you don't believe in religion, why even make it a component of the most important day of your life? Why not just find a nice venue and hire a justice of the peace?

Sounds like his wife-to-be is Baptist. Bride-to-be = wedding planners and Groom-to-be = window dressing.

Fixed for clarity.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: AdamSnow

Originally posted by: db

Totally blackmail!
Tell him you want reimbursement for the invitations.

Oh, that's what I said... but of course, My Fiancée grew up with him as her Pastor, and refuses to hear anything of it...

If it is a deal breaker, it is a deal breaker.

I would understand if the pastor had at the beginning, outright, said he would only marry you two if you converted, but doing that in the middle is jacked up.

I suggest getting engagement counseling. I know a lot of my friends have done that, and it reveals a lot of expectations and hidden problem in the relationship.

I will say though that marrying someone that has fundamentally different beliefs than you, can be very, very hard.

 

[imported_Phil]

Originally posted by: crystal

Originally posted by: Phil
I'm going to play devil's advocate and say that maybe you shouldn't get married in a place of religious worship if you don't believe in said religion.

Could it be his future wife wants to marry there?

Aha! Reading comprehension FTMFCSCGW!

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: MathMan

Originally posted by: AdamSnow
So, as a lot of you know I'm getting married June 10th of this year... Ever since last August we have had a commitment from a pastor that he would marry us and we would be able to use his church for the ceremony.

All invitations are printed & sent, everything is in place... and last night... two months before the day, he calls my Fiancée and informs her that he will not marry us unless I convert to their religion.

So now I'm in quite a situation... I'm being forced into something that I don't want to do... He states that he's not forcing me into anything, of course... but leaving it for two months before the day and screwing me on everything is all but forcing me to do something right?

What a great guy... :thumbsdown:

The religion is Baptist by the way... The problem is that I don't believe in any religion at all, not that I'm a different one and he wants me to switch over...

That really sucks what he did to you... if he really doesn't like marrying non-believers in his church, he should've been more upfront about it from the very beginning.

However, I hope you don't take offense but I have to question why someone who claims to have no religion at all would WANT to get married by a religious pastor in a religious church. If you don't believe in religion, why even make it a component of the most important day of your life? Why not just find a nice venue and hire a justice of the peace?

QFT, but I am guessing the fiance wants a church wedding.