Wedding problems...

[BriGy86]

tell the pastor to convert to your beliefs

but seriously how does he know your not babtist already?

just tell him you got converted over the weekend or something

if he asks for proof tell him that religion is all about faith (remeber to give a nice big smile)

after the wedding is done, feel free to tell him you lied through your teeth the entire time jsut to piss him off

 

[db]

bullsh*t--> He says he's not forcing you to do anything, but you have to do what he says or else. <--bullsh*t

By the way, since your fiancee accepts this guy's behavior and always will, you can expect more manipulation in the future.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: db
bullsh*t--> He says he's not forcing you to do anything, but you have to do what he says or else. <--bullsh*t

By the way, since your fiancee accepts this guy's behavior and always will, you can expect more manipulation in the future.

QFT

 

[AdamSnow]

Yes, you guy's are correct... My Fiancée wants the church wedding... I could care less.

If it were up to me, I would just go to a justice of the peace or something... but this is what she wants, and I'm doing it for her...

-- I totally agree... if he would have mentioned this up front and back in August, there wouldn't be a problem, as we would have figured something else out... but for this to come up now... two months before the date... is just making me livid...

 

[SpecialEd]

sorry to hear about your problems. But just to let you know, many Christian pastors and churches consider marriage a very serious sacred commitment. If you're not in the position to fully embrace a Christian marriage then you should find a neutral officiator and have you're wedding at a neutral site. This is why country clubs can officiate weddings. Good luck.

 

[imported_Phil]

Originally posted by: AdamSnow
Yes, you guy's are correct... My Fiancée wants the church wedding... I could care less.

If it were up to me, I would just go to a justice of the peace or something... but this is what she wants, and I'm doing it for her...

-- I totally agree... if he would have mentioned this up front and back in August, there wouldn't be a problem, as we would have figured something else out... but for this to come up now... two months before the date... is just making me livid...

Heh, sorry dude, didn't read your post properly before putting on my devil horns.

Tell him he's going to hell for lying.

 

[crystal]

Originally posted by: Phil

Originally posted by: crystal

Originally posted by: Phil
I'm going to play devil's advocate and say that maybe you shouldn't get married in a place of religious worship if you don't believe in said religion.

Could it be his future wife wants to marry there?

Aha! Reading comprehension FTMFCSCGW!

This "FTMFCSCGW" really didn't help my reading comprehension.

 

[Kelemvor]

Originally posted by: isasir
Wow. I have nightmares of the same coming true for me. (I'm getting married in a Catholic church, but I'm not Catholic).

I hope everything works out for you!

I did that and had no problems. We couldn't do communion or anything during the cermeony since I'm not catholic, but the priest had no problem marrying us.

OP, I'd file a complaint with the local bishop type person (or wahtever that religion calls it) and let them know that you are very upset that to find out that this is how their religion treats people of other religions. Let him know that your fiance is now thinking of leaving that church as well if that's the way that priest deicdes to treat people.

They might go have a chat with him and get him to do it anyway. But of course I'd just find a different priest or even a different church in the area and go there. Changing the wedding site address shouldn't be too hard since you have 2 months to let everyone know.

 

[imported_Phil]

Originally posted by: crystal

Originally posted by: Phil

Originally posted by: crystal

Originally posted by: Phil
I'm going to play devil's advocate and say that maybe you shouldn't get married in a place of religious worship if you don't believe in said religion.

Could it be his future wife wants to marry there?

Aha! Reading comprehension FTMFCSCGW!

This "FTMFCSCGW" really didn't help my reading comprehension.

It's a perfectly innocuous and child-friendly statement. :shifty:

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: AdamSnow
Yes, you guy's are correct... My Fiancée wants the church wedding... I could care less.

If it were up to me, I would just go to a justice of the peace or something... but this is what she wants, and I'm doing it for her...

-- I totally agree... if he would have mentioned this up front and back in August, there wouldn't be a problem, as we would have figured something else out... but for this to come up now... two months before the date... is just making me livid...

Quote the Bible to him, saying that he said he would do it, and then say let your Yes be Yes and your No be No.

Again, though, I will say that more manipulation will occur later if your fiance doesn't think the pastor did something wrong.

 

[preslove]

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: AdamSnow

Originally posted by: db

Totally blackmail!
Tell him you want reimbursement for the invitations.

Oh, that's what I said... but of course, My Fiancée grew up with him as her Pastor, and refuses to hear anything of it...

If it is a deal breaker, it is a deal breaker.

I would understand if the pastor had at the beginning, outright, said he would only marry you two if you converted, but doing that in the middle is jacked up.

I suggest getting engagement counseling. I know a lot of my friends have done that, and it reveals a lot of expectations and hidden problem in the relationship.

I will say though that marrying someone that has fundamentally different beliefs than you, can be very, very hard.

qft

If she doesn't see how screwed up this pastor is, it is indicative of some deep problems that could bite you in the ass. Under no circumstances should you be blackmailed into converting by this douche. If she can't see that then she has serious issues.

 

[maziwanka]

Originally posted by: crystal
That is very low for someone whom wears the cloth.

 

[AdamSnow]

Originally posted by: db
By the way, since your fiancee accepts this guy's behavior and always will, you can expect more manipulation in the future.

While she does respect him, she does not feel that I should have to do anything that I do not want too for this to happen... She understands and agree's that since we've been together for so long without an issue in relgion, that there never will be a problem...

She just doesn't want me to take this guy to court for the money we're out because of his "last minute" decision about not marrying us...

 

[imported_Phil]

Originally posted by: AdamSnow

Originally posted by: db
By the way, since your fiancee accepts this guy's behavior and always will, you can expect more manipulation in the future.

While she does respect him, she does not feel that I should have to do anything that I do not want too for this to happen... She understands and agree's that since we've been together for so long without an issue in relgion, that there never will be a problem...

She just doesn't want me to take this guy to court for the money we're out because of his "last minute" decision about not marrying us...

:Q
I wouldn't make it public knowledge that you sued a pastor, myself...

 

[PingSpike]

Wow...this would drive me right up the wall.

Hit the pastol in the head with a sack of nickels, tie him up in the church basement and have a justice of the peace marry you in his stead.

Seriously, I'd probably want to sue him for damages but I'm sure your fiance would hear nothing of it.

 

[DBL]

I'd have your fiancé call and try to speak with the pastor. Since they have a relationship, there is a good chance she can convince him to make an exception. After all, he is creating a huge problem for a dedicated member by equivocating on an already agreed upon event.

However, if his position forces you to make alternate arrangements, I might consider sending a bill for additional costs incurred (both time and money), especially if you have a previously signed contract.

 

[preslove]

Originally posted by: AdamSnow

Originally posted by: db
By the way, since your fiancee accepts this guy's behavior and always will, you can expect more manipulation in the future.

While she does respect him, she does not feel that I should have to do anything that I do not want too for this to happen... She understands and agree's that since we've been together for so long without an issue in relgion, that there never will be a problem...

She just doesn't want me to take this guy to court for the money we're out because of his "last minute" decision about not marrying us...

Don't sue the guy, of course. That being said, a pastor's reputation is a great asset. Totally change your plans, eat the cost, and let it be known that this guy lied to your face.

 

[AdamSnow]

Originally posted by: Phil

Originally posted by: AdamSnow
Yes, you guy's are correct... My Fiancée wants the church wedding... I could care less.

If it were up to me, I would just go to a justice of the peace or something... but this is what she wants, and I'm doing it for her...

-- I totally agree... if he would have mentioned this up front and back in August, there wouldn't be a problem, as we would have figured something else out... but for this to come up now... two months before the date... is just making me livid...

Heh, sorry dude, didn't read your post properly before putting on my devil horns.

Tell him he's going to hell for lying.

That's fine man... There needs to be two sides of every story, as I'm angry I don't see the other side... just mine...

 

[AdamSnow]

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: AdamSnow
Yes, you guy's are correct... My Fiancée wants the church wedding... I could care less.

If it were up to me, I would just go to a justice of the peace or something... but this is what she wants, and I'm doing it for her...

-- I totally agree... if he would have mentioned this up front and back in August, there wouldn't be a problem, as we would have figured something else out... but for this to come up now... two months before the date... is just making me livid...

Quote the Bible to him, saying that he said he would do it, and then say let your Yes be Yes and your No be No.

Again, though, I will say that more manipulation will occur later if your fiance doesn't think the pastor did something wrong.

She knows he did something wrong, and doesn't agree with it at all... She's just as upset about it as I am...

 

[SaturnX]

Originally posted by: AdamSnow

Originally posted by: db
By the way, since your fiancee accepts this guy's behavior and always will, you can expect more manipulation in the future.

While she does respect him, she does not feel that I should have to do anything that I do not want too for this to happen... She understands and agree's that since we've been together for so long without an issue in relgion, that there never will be a problem...

She just doesn't want me to take this guy to court for the money we're out because of his "last minute" decision about not marrying us...

If I was in your position, I'd do whatever possible to obtain monetary compensation for the invites and everything. I'm sorry but he's got to learn that he can't just go around black mailing people just because he's a minister. It's complete bullsh!t.

 

[acemcmac]

As long as it's just a matter of saying "okay, I'm a baptist now" much as you'd say "okay, I have purple skin now," I'd just go ahead and say it to get it done

<<< mercenary morals

 

[Trikat]

Originally posted by: crystal
That is very low for someone whom wears the cloth.

Bah, many who wear the cloth are low.
These days anything goes...

 

[preslove]

Originally posted by: acemcmac
As long as it's just a matter of saying "okay, I'm a baptist now" much as you'd say "okay, I have purple skin now," I'd just go ahead and say it to get it done

<<< mercenary morals

It's Baptists, which means that he would have to be baptised, *shivers*

 

[AdamSnow]

Originally posted by: preslove

Originally posted by: AdamSnow

Originally posted by: db
By the way, since your fiancee accepts this guy's behavior and always will, you can expect more manipulation in the future.

While she does respect him, she does not feel that I should have to do anything that I do not want too for this to happen... She understands and agree's that since we've been together for so long without an issue in relgion, that there never will be a problem...

She just doesn't want me to take this guy to court for the money we're out because of his "last minute" decision about not marrying us...

Don't sue the guy, of course. That being said, a pastor's reputation is a great asset. Totally change your plans, eat the cost, and let it be known that this guy lied to your face.

Oh, I know... I'd never actually sue the guy (Anyone for that matter I doubt...) but in my anger, I can't say that I didn't think about it...

 

[preslove]

Originally posted by: AdamSnow

Originally posted by: preslove

Originally posted by: AdamSnow

Originally posted by: db
By the way, since your fiancee accepts this guy's behavior and always will, you can expect more manipulation in the future.

While she does respect him, she does not feel that I should have to do anything that I do not want too for this to happen... She understands and agree's that since we've been together for so long without an issue in relgion, that there never will be a problem...

She just doesn't want me to take this guy to court for the money we're out because of his "last minute" decision about not marrying us...

Don't sue the guy, of course. That being said, a pastor's reputation is a great asset. Totally change your plans, eat the cost, and let it be known that this guy lied to your face.

Oh, I know... I'd never actually sue the guy (Anyone for that matter I doubt...) but in my anger, I can't say that I didn't think about it...

Haha. I know how you feel. It's cool that your fiance has your back. You seem like you guys are handling it well. Screw that dude.