Wedding problems...

[Mursilis]

Originally posted by: AdamSnow

Originally posted by: db
By the way, since your fiancee accepts this guy's behavior and always will, you can expect more manipulation in the future.

While she does respect him, she does not feel that I should have to do anything that I do not want too for this to happen... She understands and agree's that since we've been together for so long without an issue in relgion, that there never will be a problem...

She just doesn't want me to take this guy to court for the money we're out because of his "last minute" decision about not marrying us...

Plan on having kids ever? It will be a problem. There was a thread about that problem just this week.

 

[Stuxnet]

Originally posted by: AdamSnow

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: AdamSnow
Yes, you guy's are correct... My Fiancée wants the church wedding... I could care less.

If it were up to me, I would just go to a justice of the peace or something... but this is what she wants, and I'm doing it for her...

-- I totally agree... if he would have mentioned this up front and back in August, there wouldn't be a problem, as we would have figured something else out... but for this to come up now... two months before the date... is just making me livid...

Quote the Bible to him, saying that he said he would do it, and then say let your Yes be Yes and your No be No.

Again, though, I will say that more manipulation will occur later if your fiance doesn't think the pastor did something wrong.

She knows he did something wrong, and doesn't agree with it at all... She's just as upset about it as I am...

But not upset enough to call him on it?

Good luck with all of this. The root problem here is that your wife isn't willing to confront him, yet that's exactly what it will take to resolve it.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: Mursilis

Originally posted by: AdamSnow

Originally posted by: db
By the way, since your fiancee accepts this guy's behavior and always will, you can expect more manipulation in the future.

While she does respect him, she does not feel that I should have to do anything that I do not want too for this to happen... She understands and agree's that since we've been together for so long without an issue in relgion, that there never will be a problem...

She just doesn't want me to take this guy to court for the money we're out because of his "last minute" decision about not marrying us...

Plan on having kids ever? It will be a problem. There was a thread about just this week.

AdamSnow, do you have a problem with taking your kids to church because your future wife want you to? Do you have a problem attending church?

If otherwise, it will be a problem more than likely

 

[sourceninja]

Sue the chuch. Get your money back for the printed invitations, time, etc. Or lie to the the guy, act like you converted, then never go to that church again. You and your wife can find a new church. Being a pastor doesn't make him any better then any of us. He doens't deserve any special treatment. If this was a resturant, you would sue.

 

[AdamSnow]

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: Mursilis

Originally posted by: AdamSnow

Originally posted by: db
By the way, since your fiancee accepts this guy's behavior and always will, you can expect more manipulation in the future.

While she does respect him, she does not feel that I should have to do anything that I do not want too for this to happen... She understands and agree's that since we've been together for so long without an issue in relgion, that there never will be a problem...

She just doesn't want me to take this guy to court for the money we're out because of his "last minute" decision about not marrying us...

Plan on having kids ever? It will be a problem. There was a thread about just this week.

AdamSnow, do you have a problem with taking your kids to church because your future wife want you to? Do you have a problem attending church?

If otherwise, it will be a problem more than likely

I have no problems with my children attending church, and I do attend church with my Fiancee, I just don't agree with the message they are sending. I have no problem with it at all, just don't force it upon me...

 

[GhostDoggy]

Originally posted by: AdamSnow
So, as a lot of you know I'm getting married June 10th of this year... Ever since last August we have had a commitment from a pastor that he would marry us and we would be able to use his church for the ceremony.

All invitations are printed & sent, everything is in place... and last night... two months before the day, he calls my Fiancée and informs her that he will not marry us unless I convert to their religion.

So now I'm in quite a situation... I'm being forced into something that I don't want to do... He states that he's not forcing me into anything, of course... but leaving it for two months before the day and screwing me on everything is all but forcing me to do something right?

What a great guy... :thumbsdown:

The religion is Baptist by the way... The problem is that I don't believe in any religion at all, not that I'm a different one and he wants me to switch over...

Give me his address. I will resolve this anomaly.

 

[AdamSnow]

So - I emailed the guy... told him how I felt, and that we needed to talk straight up and figure things out... We're in quite a situation if he chooses not to go forward with this at this point in time, etc.

He replied:

Good morning, Holly and Adam...

Thank-you, Holly, for meeting with me last night and thank-you, Adam, for your e-mail this morning. I have been in much prayer over this issue of your marriage/wedding since the first meeting last December. I should have been more clear at that time of my convictions, based on Scripture, but I didn't want to squelch Adam's spiritual search.
I want you to know that I am going to go forward with officiating at the wedding. I do, however, want to continue discussions about the spiritual aspects of marriage, as this is the most important part of the marital relationship. I look forward to our pre-marriage sessions together where we will discuss a number of areas that pertain to marriage, including but not limited to the spiritual area.
Adam, I am so refreshed by your willingness to do what is necessary for the wedding day to be special for Holly. This speaks volumes to me. This is also the reason I did not come out more strongly in the beginning about my convictions because I did not want you to just "pray a prayer" for my sake. It must be something that comes from your heart. I am praying that the Lord will reveal Himself to you in a personal way so that you will understand His unconditional love for you.
I will be in touch soon to set a date to start our pre-marriage sessions.



-- So... He's going to do it... and I'm not being forced into anything... Yay!!

Thanks again everyone, for letting me rant... I appriciate all the advice/posts you all made.

 

[badmouse]

Originally posted by: AdamSnow

Originally posted by: badmouse
Congrats, and may this be the worst thing you have to deal with in your weding! :wine:

My Fiancee does respect my beliefs. She does not want me to do anything I don't want to do, and has my back 100% to find another pastor/person to do the wedding...

The only time religion ever became a problem in our relationship, is when this guy made it one by pulling this crap...

Good :beer:

just curious - what's your fiancee's suggestions for fixing this mess?

edit: congrats on settling this. Hope all goes well, and you have a long and happy marriage. :wine:

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: AdamSnow

I have no problems with my children attending church, and I do attend church with my Fiancee, I just don't agree with the message they are sending. I have no problem with it at all, just don't force it upon me...

There are better ways to spend your time than listening to a message you don't even believe to keep your fiancee happy.

 

[AdamSnow]

Originally posted by: mugs

Originally posted by: AdamSnow

I have no problems with my children attending church, and I do attend church with my Fiancee, I just don't agree with the message they are sending. I have no problem with it at all, just don't force it upon me...

There are better ways to spend your time than listening to a message you don't even believe to keep your fiancee happy.

Relationships are give and take... I'm sure she doesn't like going to the race track with me all the time, but she goes......

 

[Jzero]

Originally posted by: AdamSnow
So - I emailed the guy... told him how I felt, and that we needed to talk straight up and figure things out... We're in quite a situation if he chooses not to go forward with this at this point in time, etc.

He replied:

Good morning, Holly and Adam...

Maybe the pastor ain't such a bad guy after all.

 

[cKGunslinger]

Originally posted by: AdamSnow
-- So... He's going to do it... and I'm not being forced into anything... Yay!!

Thanks again everyone, for letting me rant... I appriciate all the advice/posts you all made.

You should still put a FSM sticker on his vehicle. :shiftyeyes;

 

[MisterJackson]

Ummmm, can you elaborate on how it got resolved?

 

[theGlove]

well thats good to hear, though his wording sounds like he's going to try to brainwash you in those 'pre marriage' sessions lol.

I don't want to call all religion stupid, but I haven't found one that isn't

 

[AdamSnow]

Originally posted by: cKGunslinger

Originally posted by: AdamSnow
-- So... He's going to do it... and I'm not being forced into anything... Yay!!

Thanks again everyone, for letting me rant... I appriciate all the advice/posts you all made.

You should still put a FSM sticker on his vehicle. :shiftyeyes;

hahaha Well, it's too late to cancel my order from trucknutz.com... LOL

 

[AdamSnow]

Originally posted by: theGlove
well thats good to hear, though his wording sounds like he's going to try to brainwash you in those 'pre marriage' sessions lol.

I don't want to call all religion stupid, but I haven't found one that isn't

Oh yeah, I'm totally prepared for the crap that is still to come... but at least now we don't have to worry about not having anyone show up on our wedding day!

 

[AdamSnow]

Originally posted by: MisterJackson
Ummmm, can you elaborate on how it got resolved?

Sure.

I emailed him, informed him that the invitations are already printed, there is only two months until the wedding and if there is a problem - it needs to be resolved sooner not later...

I informed him that there has already been money spent, People have been informed... We are just buying a house (Closing date is today actually, we get posession at 6:00pm), my Fiancee is just finishing up school as well as many other things going on that this is uncalled for, and we do not need this un-needed stress at the moment...

I informed him that I was willing to do whatever it takes to make sure things to smoothly... IE - If you want me to say a prayer, I will... I just need to make this happen...

And he replied with the email I posted...