Originally posted by: Moonbeam
What I detest about people is when they do something that makes me start to feel how bad I feel about myself. I got put down a lot when I was young, so much in fact that I've repressed most of it. All I want to do is salvage the little piece of me that survived, my ego which I've grown big enough now to cover over the huge hole where my real self should be, but which I keep bottled up because everybody told me how horrible he was. Let me give you some examples of how people annoy the crap out of me by bringing up my bad feelings.
First off is people who complain about depression. They think their depressed. Hahahahahaha! What the fluck do they know about depression. I'm hanging on by my fingernails man. I'm so sad inside I would die if I ever started opened the door on that even a crack. STFU about your depression, asshole. You should pity me, not the other way round.
It's the same $hit with people who are annoyed. What the F do they know about being annoyed. You should of had my parents. Before I learned how to completely play dead, they tortured me for years. Oh wait, I don't remember. But trust me. You don't know $hit about being annoyed. Probe too deep and I'll kill your ass.
Like I said putzo, what you know about depression is like skin deep. Mine goes clear to the bone. I don't got time for your nanny complaints.
Another thing that sets me off is people who make a fool of themselves in public. Nefs and reposters are two examples. God, you have no idea how bad they made me feel, I much I was humiliated and hurt. Even I can't remember. But every time some asshole makes a mistake I go rigid. It's like being on a knife edge. I want to beat the fool to death like they did me and I want to flee so that doesn't happen to me. I hate it, having all those conflicting feelings to deal with unconsciously. F off idiot.
Another thing I really hate is people talking about stuff they don't know anything about. In the first place that's everybody that doesn't think like me, which IS everybody and second where the fluck do they get off knowing anything. I used to get so excited about stuff and tell Mommy and Daddy and they didn't even pay attention. They shined me on or told me so much more I felt like I didn't know anything. I learned to keep my mouth shut and bow my head. I learned not to make anything out of myself. YOU LEARN TOO. You don't know $hit so STFU.
You god damned pretentious assholes who think you know something, how do you think you make me feel. The mere fact that you think you know something and you talk to me who knows nothing, you talk down to me. Dirt bag. You make me feel my emptiness.
I want that attention, you fluck. I want to be the pretentious asshole. I'll do the talking and the attention getting. You STFU. Can't you see how much I need. You attention whores, get off the stage so I can shine.
Those of you who are incompetent and lazy, you make me sick. I used to be a dreamer, I used to look up in the sky and in the clouds I could see whole worlds. But THEY came and spoiled it all. I always had to do this and that and it was never any good. $hit, I hate them. I hate you. I hate me. Don't remind me of how lazy and incompetent I really am.
And on it goes. So far that's all I remember, but you can remind me of more.
The principle is always the same. What annoys me is what reminds me of how bad I feel. I cannot see the world as it, the perfect beautiful world, I can only see myself, smell my own arm pit, hear the echoes of my own buried feelings. The bottom line is that everything annoys me because everything reminds me that the real me is safely tucked away where he can never be hurt again. The trade-off of course is that I have no joy.