When is it enough? :(

[lilFajita]

The problem is though, that I've lost all my drive to be happy. I've always been boy crazy, so when my heart use to get broken, I'd go cheer myself up with a new purchase, go out and meet new people, go dancing, etc. etc. etc....I could always find a way to distract myself, and soon, I'd been on way to being better.

This time, though, nothing seems to work. Just thinking of doing anything or seeing anyone just tires me out, and I've been like this for months. Sometimes, I just get so depressed that I almost get scared. I can't remember the last time that I was just purely happy- its not that I don't have a good time and smile...but that the entire time, I'm really just amazed that I'm not sad. Does that make sense?

I'm really wondering if this is serious. I have always been emotional, but this time is much much worse that I can remember.

I also wonder if this is serious enough to seek a doctor's help. There is a certain stigma (with family and friends) to seeing a doctor, so I want to make sure I'm not just being a weak person. I just know, though, that I can't keep doing this...it's affecting every part of me, from health to work to family....

I really appreciate any thoughts you have.

 

[radioouman]

Sounds to me like you are just getting a little older/more mature.... There will always be other guys. There will always be stuff that will make you happy. The things that I used to keep my mind off of women (before I met "the one") don't interest me like they used to. I loved to go work on my cars, or mess with the computer, but eventually that stuff didn't interest me any more. I think that is happening to you too. You'll eventually find another interest or another guy. Good luck!

 

[lilFajita]

so, for how long do you accept this state? And how am I really going to meet anyone or find any interest? Even if guys talk to me, I kind of blow them off. I wish I could get interested, I just can't.

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

Sounds like you should go see a pro. If what you are going through is normal, they will tell you or you soon enough. Friends family don't need to know if you don't think they would be supportive.

I wish you well and good luck.

 

[lilFajita]

I guess I'm nervous, too, about seeing a doctor. Seems like a slippery slope (medications and all)

 

[CurtCold]

Felt the same way a while back, personally just getting out and meeting new people was tough, but that's what it took to get me back up and going. I hung out with some friends that I hadn't seen much since high school, and that helped me get through the tough times. I would def go and see some Therapist, or Psychologist/Psychiatrist, if you can afford too, if you've been feeling like this for a couple months. Never hurts to get a professional's opinion.

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

I don't think you need to be concerned about that. They can't force you to take meds, and if you don't like the doctor, then don't go back, or find a new one. However, the meds these days are pretty good in that they are effective without too many side effects. I don't know if you are depressed or not, only a pro can tell you that. You could even talk to your regular physician...but you wont get any counseling that way.

 

[KGB1]

Man I never knew it was this tough for women to get over guys. Lucky for us guys its bad, but not like you describe it (losing interest in other activities) You'd never meet a guy who was dumped and not be cheerful that he still has his "playmate" around. I'd think you'd hold off the doctors appointment and really get the cloud over your head cleared yourself. Find someone new or just be single for a while. I guess you were always with someone that you don't know the feeling of loneliness. Well good luck.

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: KGB
Man I never knew it was this tough for women to get over guys. Lucky for us guys its bad, but not like you describe it (losing interest in other activities) You'd never meet a guy who was dumped and not be cheerful that he still has his "playmate" around. I'd think you'd hold off the doctors appointment and really get the cloud over your head cleared yourself. Find someone new or just be single for a while. I guess you were always with someone that you don't know the feeling of loneliness. Well good luck.

Is lilfajita a girl?

 

[lilFajita]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: KGB
Man I never knew it was this tough for women to get over guys. Lucky for us guys its bad, but not like you describe it (losing interest in other activities) You'd never meet a guy who was dumped and not be cheerful that he still has his "playmate" around. I'd think you'd hold off the doctors appointment and really get the cloud over your head cleared yourself. Find someone new or just be single for a while. I guess you were always with someone that you don't know the feeling of loneliness. Well good luck.

Is lilfajita a girl?

I am.

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: lilFajita

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: KGB
Man I never knew it was this tough for women to get over guys. Lucky for us guys its bad, but not like you describe it (losing interest in other activities) You'd never meet a guy who was dumped and not be cheerful that he still has his "playmate" around. I'd think you'd hold off the doctors appointment and really get the cloud over your head cleared yourself. Find someone new or just be single for a while. I guess you were always with someone that you don't know the feeling of loneliness. Well good luck.

Is lilfajita a girl?

I am.

Well that's good to here. I don't think I could stand a thread by a gay Deeko

 

[BoberFett]

Hmm, it took me a while to get over someone. It took me a while, but I did it. Things I did to help me move on:

Got a tattoo
Bought a motorcycle
Had lots of sex
Drank a lot
Went to Sturgis

After all that, I was finally over her, and just so happened that I met the woman of my dreams. So are any of those things options for you?

 

[lilFajita]

Originally posted by: KGB
Man I never knew it was this tough for women to get over guys. Lucky for us guys its bad, but not like you describe it (losing interest in other activities) You'd never meet a guy who was dumped and not be cheerful that he still has his "playmate" around. I'd think you'd hold off the doctors appointment and really get the cloud over your head cleared yourself. Find someone new or just be single for a while. I guess you were always with someone that you don't know the feeling of loneliness. Well good luck.

this is the first time its been this bad, I guess. Its really strange to me. I did want to handle this myself, but its been a while, so I'm just worried that its a more serious issue, perhaps just triggered by recent events. I don't know....

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: lilFajita
I guess I'm nervous, too, about seeing a doctor. Seems like a slippery slope (medications and all)

A good doctor won't force medications on you,he/she will go thru what's been happening with you symptom
wise and offer an evaluation that lists all your options.Also a good MD will also refer you for talking therapy
as most psychiatrists these days only do psychopharm.

You might try first seeing a PHD level clinincian or MSW who specialises in 1:1 counseling,after a few sessions if a med eval by a doc is indicated they will refer you

 

[Radiohead]

Originally posted by: lilFajita
I recently dated someone that I think was the first guy I've ever been in love with. We broke up a few months ago, but its been dragging out...I'll spare you the details, but its clear that I've been romantizing the reality of the situation, and I really need to get in control of my feelings and gain some independence. Additionally, I have had some friends that kind of dropped me, and it's really sent my mind whirling.

The problem is though, that I've lost all my drive to be happy. I've always been boy crazy, so when my heart use to get broken, I'd go cheer myself up with a new purchase, go out and meet new people, go dancing, etc. etc. etc....I could always find a way to distract myself, and soon, I'd been on way to being better.

This time, though, nothing seems to work. Just thinking of doing anything or seeing anyone just tires me out, and I've been like this for months. Sometimes, I just get so depressed that I almost get scared. I can't remember the last time that I was just purely happy- its not that I don't have a good time and smile...but that the entire time, I'm really just amazed that I'm not sad. Does that make sense?

I'm really wondering if this is serious. If you have ever been in love and it fell apart, is this normal? How did you get better? I have always been emotional, but this time is much much worse that I can remember.

I also wonder if this is serious enough to seek a doctor's help. There is a certain stigma (with family and friends) to seeing a doctor, so I want to make sure I'm not just being a weak person. I just know, though, that I can't keep doing this...it's affecting every part of me, from health to work to family....

I really appreciate any thoughts you have.

Hey LilFajita, I understand what you're going through. You've had your heart broken and now begins the recovery stage. When is it enough? Well that depends on you and how long it takes you to heal.

I went thru something similar a few years ago. Invested too much into a girl & wound up getting dropped on my face. Let's just say it took a while for me to get back out there. Even today, I'm still warry about getting involved seriously in a relationship.

I guess what didn't help was having your friends disappear on you. I really found solace in my friends.
But even with support from friends, in the end, it was the time I spent with myself that helped.

 

[dirtboy]

I have loved and lost many women. Only time can heal a broken heart.

 

[Geekbabe]

YGPM

 

[Turbo55]

Talk to your friends, I'm sure at least some of them will understand. If not, you can talk to me.

I know it's hard to get over, but give it some time. Time will help your get over this, and the suffering inside will fade away gradually. Two years later and you come back to this thread, you'll be laughing your @$$ off at how silly you were.

 

[lilFajita]

Red Dawn: glad i could be of comfort

BoberFett: your post made me laugh, thanks. I don't know if you meant your post seriously, but let me respond anyway. I guess what I am trying to say, is that normally, lots of those things would, in the least, distract me. I have done so many things over the last few months- joined some organizations, volunteered, bought bought bought...but it seems so useless, because the whole time, I'm so indifferent, no matter how hard I try. That's what worries me the most, I guess.

dirtboy, Turbo: I know you are right about time. I guess I just wonder how much time before I can at least be interested in things (not to mention "over him" or whatever)

Geekbabe: thanks

 

[lilFajita]

i made a doctor's appointment, going to start there. I hope this is what i need...

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: lilFajita
i made a doctor's appointment, going to start there. I hope this is what i need...

My best wishes to you for a quick and healthy recovery.

*Big brotherly bear hug*

Grasshopper

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Find a puppy. There is no antidepressant like a happy dog.

- M4H

 

[Hoober]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Find a puppy. There is no antidepressant like a happy dog.

- M4H

I'll second that. Nothing says love like those big brown eyes on my yellow lab. They'll brighten my day no matter how bad things are. The problem is they're expensive and do take a lot of work.

I hope you do feel better lilFajita. What the others have said is true. Time heals all wounds... it's just a matter of how long. I'm also glad to hear you're going to see a doctor. They're there for a reason.

 

[huey1124]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Find a puppy. There is no antidepressant like a happy dog.

- M4H

really? what's the recipe?

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Originally posted by: huey1124

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Find a puppy. There is no antidepressant like a happy dog.

- M4H

really? what's the recipe?

[*]Pet repeatedly
[*]Watch tail wag
[*]Enjoy face licking
[*]Sic it on huey1124 for being such a sick bastard
[*]Enjoy the carnage

- M4H