wife just had an affair

[Ranger X]

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

 

[Brutuskend]

Sucks man.

I've never been married, but I have had ladyfriends cheat on me.

It ALWAYS hurts, but sometimes things DO get better.

 

[DAGTA]

Yeah, everyone knows it's ok if it only happened once. /sarcasm

Cheating is cheating and whether it was planned or 'just happened', it's still wrong and horrible.

Good luck in whatever you choose.

-DAGTA

 

[arcenite]

Originally posted by: Yo_Ma-Ma

Originally posted by: BruinEd03

Originally posted by: tkdkid
Happy new year, huh? Well she just told me that two weeks ago she screwed some guy from work. Got off early and went to his place. Then did it again another day. I never considered that she would do something like that. She's never been that kind of person. We've openly criticized other couples for sleeping around. Our relationship has been great for over 8 years. We're very religious and very honest with each other. I have no idea what to do.

She says she sorry and she doesn't know what she was thinking. She still loves me very much. I'm lost.

For me...dump her and move on...cheating can't be forgiven. But that's just me.

-Ed

Yeah, I'm with Ed on this, zero tolerance.

I wouldn't think twice..

Bill

 

[HomerSapien]

First, ignore 90% of the people in these forums.

Work with your wife. Go to counseling with your wife to find out why and what you two can do to make sure it doesnt happen again. There could be deep reasons that need to be worked out with outside help along. Plus it will help you learn trust her a little bit again, if things work out that way.

Good luck

 

[petery83]

I'd say forgive her and get some counseling for both of you (since she confessed and was honest about it). If she had tried to hide it or deny it, I would recommend that you dump her.

 

[SilentZero]

Sorry about that man....but now you have a free pass to cheat. Id get her back the same way she screwed you over. If she has hot sisters, that would be my first plan. Next...her mom. Or if you truely love her and want to give her a second chance, just talk things out and hope she doesn't cheat again. But for most people, once they cheat once, they are twice as more likely to do it again. Good luck.

 

[arcenite]

Originally posted by: HomerSapien
First, ignore 90% of the people in these forums.

Work with your wife. Go to counseling with your wife to find out why and what you two can do to make sure it doesnt happen again. There could be deep reasons that need to be worked out with outside help along. Plus it will help you learn trust her a little bit again, if things work out that way.

Good luck

To me, everything in a marriage can be forgiven except cheating.. I can not imagine looking at her the same way if she went and put her body all over another guy... Just the images...

Bill

 

[jinduy]

get even with her... tell her that you now get two free nights to sleep with any woman u want when given the chance!

just kidding, i'd dump her and move on... i hope you still got your game

 

[Daaavo]

Dude, seriously, if it was me, I couldn't put her to the curb fast enough.

Number#1, she betrayed you. And number#2, this supposedly "very religious" person broke one of the 10 commandments. At this point, you should not be surprised to come home and find her rattling around on the floor with some guy, like an electric football set.

 

[jinduy]

Originally posted by: aRCeNiTe

Originally posted by: HomerSapien
First, ignore 90% of the people in these forums.

Work with your wife. Go to counseling with your wife to find out why and what you two can do to make sure it doesnt happen again. There could be deep reasons that need to be worked out with outside help along. Plus it will help you learn trust her a little bit again, if things work out that way.

Good luck

To me, everything in a marriage can be forgiven except cheating.. I can not imagine looking at her the same way if she went and put her body all over another guy... Just the images...

Bill

oh man... that'd drive me nutts

 

[DWW]

Originally posted by: SilentZero
Sorry about that man....but now you have a free pass to cheat. Id get her back the same way she screwed you over. If she has hot sisters, that would be my first plan. Next...her mom. Or if you truely love her and want to give her a second chance, just talk things out and hope she doesn't cheat again. But for most people, once they cheat once, they are twice as more likely to do it again. Good luck.

hahaha her mom! soooo thuggish that I say go for it and do some REAL super freak stuff on the tape (I previously mentioned on the first page that he should tape him having sex with someone and then playing it for his wife)

 

[Maverick]

I wouldn't be at peace if I forgave someone for something like that. I once had an ex sort of cheat on me and the whole scene kept playing in mind over and over again. I think some people have the heart to forgive, but I am not one of them. If you have the heart for it, more power to you.

If I were you I would take a look at what you'll really be gaining by staying with her and decide based on that. Like others have said...doing it twice without telling you makes her very untrustworthy.

 

[DWW]

He should NOT dump her as soon as possible. Play the cards right:

Start going to counselling with her so she thinks she is making progress. Then privately start screwing her sister and mom (separately). Do something really dirty (use your imagination) with one of the ladies and then kiss her on the mouth and then play the tape of something you JUST recorded haha. Watch her gag and laugh.

Then get rid of her.

 

[Adul]

depends on the kind of person you are. If you are a forgiving soul, then it might work out ok. If you are one to bring this up all the time and through it in her face, then I think it is over for you two. it sucks i have had it happen before and I really dont want to deal with it again.

 

[DaWhim]

Originally posted by: aRCeNiTe

Originally posted by: HomerSapien
First, ignore 90% of the people in these forums.

Work with your wife. Go to counseling with your wife to find out why and what you two can do to make sure it doesnt happen again. There could be deep reasons that need to be worked out with outside help along. Plus it will help you learn trust her a little bit again, if things work out that way.

Good luck

To me, everything in a marriage can be forgiven except cheating.. I can not imagine looking at her the same way if she went and put her body all over another guy... Just the images...

Bill

TRUST is what marriage based on. lie and cheating are the only things can't be forgive for me. I don't know any liars, because I don't make friend with them.

good luck and let us know what is your decision.

 

[WinkOsmosis]

I wouldn't bother to forgive someone who cheated, because it's beyond doing something wrong and being forgiven. It completely invalidates the relationship. Then again I've never been in that situation.

 

[ctcsoft]

sorry to hear about this. a good friend of mine FIRMLY believes all chicks
cheat. ( not that men don't just as much or more but still ). He believes
they will all cheat EVENTUALLY.

now I am sure this is NOT true because there has to be a few good ones.
their just few and far between is all. I can say that I've seen women who
cheated, got divorced and they never seemed liked the type that would do
so.

"you never know".. sorry man. try to work it out.

 

[Soccer55]

Originally posted by: Daaavo
Dude, seriously, if it was me, I couldn't put her to the curb fast enough.

Number#1, she betrayed you. And number#2, this supposedly "very religious" person broke one of the 10 commandments. At this point, you should not be surprised to come home and find her rattling around on the floor with some guy, like an electric football set.

Yes, but if he is very religious as well, it also says in the Bible to forgive (Matthew 18:21-22 for those of you that care.....John 8:1-12 has another story about forgiveness as well). Basically what it comes down to is their commitments to each other. Clearly, trust has been broken but it is possible for trust to be regained. As for actual advice, I would second other people's suggestions about seeking professional counseling and going from there.

-Tom

 

[Chubbz]

Originally posted by: jjsole
Un f'n believable. :disgust:

Sorry to hear that.

Sorry, dude. =(

 

[BD231]

Man, horrible to here TKDKID.

I know if I were in that position I'd never forget something like that, and as a result I'd leave her.

If she ever dose anything like this again it's gonna hurt a lot worse, and I'd imagine things will be weird between you two from here on out.

 

[TechnoKid]

hmm..i reread some of the posts here and started thinking. What exactly does one define as cheating? Sleeping with another?(For the sex?) "Loving" someone else? Kissing? I think that when you ask yourself the question of what really is cheating you kind of go through the thought process of:

Is sex different than love? How/Why does sex [with another] define cheating? If sex is love, then is love always sex? Is it still considered cheating/unfaithfulness if that persons heart never left that of their spouse? Is cheating a mental need or a physical need? What drives someone to such an extent when they know in their conscience that they are doing something wrong? Can you have sex with another person but not love that person (but love the person you're comitted to). Is cheating just for the sex? Does cheating always have to involve sex? Or does it fill in another "need?" In other words, what goes through the mind of someone commiting this act of unfaithfulness. How does someone even fathom such a thing? What is the reason behind doing it with another person that makes it happen at all?

I think its rather difficult to put yourself in the psyckie(sp) of another person and try to think of why someone would do such a thing (how that person could justify such an act). There is both an emotional part and a perhaps a physical aspect to the reason behind it. I'm not trying to debate whether or not cheating is wrong; of course I think it's wrong; you don't [or are not supposed to] have sex with people that you're not in love with. I'm just trying to put another perspective to it in general.

If I ever got cheated on by my GF ((I venture to say there are different kinds of cheating)), more than anything, I'd want to know why my GF did it. I'd want to know what I did wrong or what she thought I did wrong, if anything. Then and only then, would I be able to think about forgiving her.

-Chris

 

[Mill]

Do you have kids?

 

[djplayx714]

ive kind of been in your situation only that she was my fiancee.

i thought for hours about it and decided that i couldnt trust her anymore because of how badly she lied to me. i found out because the other guy called me. it still hurts to this day but at least i dont have to repeat the worst day of my life or be reminded of it anymore.

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

Once as a mistake? Possibly. But twice? And she'll still see him every day... How many times does it have to happen?