YAGT: Sex problems

[djheater]

I haven't read the other posts. I read your first. Here's my opinion:

She's conflicted.

This is either due to a moral dichotomy or the vestige of a personal experience (think abuse).

Either way you have two choices, stick with it or don't.

If you stick with it, make the decision and FVCKING stick with it.. if you can't do that, please do both of you a favor and don't.

PS - Don't listen to me, I'm drunk.

 

[intogamer]

Originally posted by: Toastedlightly

 

[NakaNaka]

I can't tell you to head for the hills because you are in love. But there is something seriously wrong here. Eh, maybe it's a moral thing. But no matter what it is, your sex lives aren't compatible and in the long run, this is going to be even more of a problem it is now. Therapy = fine. Talking to her = fine. But what if this doesn't get resolved. Long term. Think about it. Will you be truly happy?

 

[brentman]

I wish I knew what to tell you. I would say just try to hang on and not do the deed. Talk with her about it.. assess how both of you feel. Working things out is a big part of being in love. Good luck to you and your gal.

 

[pkananen]

sounds like she has deeper beliefs. I'd encourage her to explore those beliefts and be true to those. Search for God together, it will be good for you guys.

 

[LennyZ]

you think you have problems now,just wait until you marry her.
do yourself a favor and find someone that doesn't need a shrink to tell her it's ok to screw.

 

[EGGO]

A lot of people say "Just wait till you marry her," the thing is that's when this will more than likely blow over due to her religion morals. Plus, you're in love. I know the feeling, too. I'd go for the advice of people like djheater, waldo, and the biggest of them all, CrazyShiz.

 

[Zombie]

what ethnicity are you 2?

 

[MaxDepth]

You need a million dollars.

And another chick.






Then she won't feel guilty anymore.





Or in da but, man. She won't feel guilty anymore. She might feel sore, but not guilty.




EDIT: Almost forgot. WHERE ARE THE FRIKKEN PICS?

 

[Ilmater]

I do think she's a little crazy, but then again, if you're trying to find sane women, you will end up by yourself.

If I were you, I'd see if she's OK with oral, and just do that. (I'm actually being serious here) Sure, it's not AS good, but this way she practices all the time.

 

[Stark]

she sounds like a high quality girl. postpone the nookie for a few months and you'll get to hit it for the rest of your life.

 

[Ime]

She's damaged goods, I've this too many times before with chicks.

If you can't bring yourself to dump her and move on, then for God's sake do NOT give in to her and get engaged. Then she'll know that she can get you to do anything and she'll make your life a living hell.

 

[Darthvoy]

Originally posted by: Ime
She's damaged goods, I've this too many times before with chicks.

If you can't bring yourself to dump her and move on, then for God's sake do NOT give in to her and get engaged. Then she'll know that she can get you to do anything and she'll make your life a living hell.

Yup she is damaged. Possibly raped or molested...if you really "love" her you should taker her to therapy, otherwise it will be same thing over and over.

 

[Dr. Detroit]

If you honestly think this is going to get better upon marriage/engagement your wrong.

This is not a moral issue with her. Sex brings back some really really bad memories from her and she needs to seek professional counseling and quit lying to you about the issue.

99% of people in this world are told not to have sex until marriage, but I've never encountered anyone who cries/gets emotional over having sex outside of marriage due to religious reasons.


What is her sexual history? Obvisouly your not the first...........

Unless she gets counseling she will never get of her emotional fear of sex. She needs to be comofrtable with herself and what has happened to her.

She's seriously damaged goods, most men who have been in the dating pool for 10yrs have came upon chicks like this. Dmaaged goods lead to problems, her problems, become your problems. Unless she gets herself fixed it is a doomed relationship.

All you can do is be supportive of her and counseling. Is it worth the wait, NO! This counseling may go on for the rest of her life.

Sex is highly important to you I take it. If so, your gonna be hanging out with Call-Girls and doing a lot of masturbation.

 

[Doboji]

Originally posted by: Darthvoy

Originally posted by: Ime
She's damaged goods, I've this too many times before with chicks.

If you can't bring yourself to dump her and move on, then for God's sake do NOT give in to her and get engaged. Then she'll know that she can get you to do anything and she'll make your life a living hell.

Yup she is damaged. Possibly raped or molested...if you really "love" her you should taker her to therapy, otherwise it will be same thing over and over.

Easier said than done.... but thats what I'm gonna try to do... first need to let the drama smoke clear from this latest episode... and then I will approach the counseling...

I have no idea how yet... but counseling is a must... at the very least I like the pre-marriage counseling idea... once engaged these things become alot easier to address.

In some ways I want to hurry up and get engaged so that we can fully tackle these issues... right now it's so difficult. But on the other hand I don't want the engagement to be a means to an end... so I'd like to at least START therapy before engagement.

again thankyou all for the helpful comments and suggestions.

To those of you suggesting I cut and run... When you meet a woman who you love beyond measure... respect, adore, admire.... who you trust absolutely and completely... who you KNOW will make your life wonderful... who you can imagine waking up with every morning for the rest of your life... you don't dump her, and run for the hills, because of something like this... If I did that I would be a fool... period.

-Max

 

[Darkstar757]

Hey bud!

Well I can tell you from experience that if you love her then you should refraim from having sex with her even if she wants too. More than likely her guilt is cause by relegious issues in the bible. If you can stand the thought of a relationship without sex in it then you perhaps should be looking elsewhere.

 

[Doboji]

Her sexual history...

she's only ever been with one other guy... and it was a very similiar situation.

-Max

Originally posted by: Fmr12B
If you honestly think this is going to get better upon marriage/engagement your wrong.

This is not a moral issue with her. Sex brings back some really really bad memories from her and she needs to seek professional counseling and quit lying to you about the issue.

99% of people in this world are told not to have sex until marriage, but I've never encountered anyone who cries/gets emotional over having sex outside of marriage due to religious reasons.


What is her sexual history? Obvisouly your not the first...........

Unless she gets counseling she will never get of her emotional fear of sex. She needs to be comofrtable with herself and what has happened to her.

She's seriously damaged goods, most men who have been in the dating pool for 10yrs have came upon chicks like this. Dmaaged goods lead to problems, her problems, become your problems. Unless she gets herself fixed it is a doomed relationship.

All you can do is be supportive of her and counseling. Is it worth the wait, NO! This counseling may go on for the rest of her life.

Sex is highly important to you I take it. If so, your gonna be hanging out with Call-Girls and doing a lot of masturbation.

 

[meltdown75]

Originally posted by: Stark
she sounds like a high quality girl. postpone the nookie for a few months and you'll get to hit it for the rest of your life.

I second this notion. So what if she's having a little struggle with her guilt - all it proves is that she was raised to hold certain morals & values high. Too many of the punks in here have no idea what this is about apparently.

She gets horned up when you two are "together", therefore I cannot suggest that she is "broken" or "damaged" (that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard btw and I've seen it like a zillion times in this thread, wow). Obviously she's sexually functional - let's leave it at that and give her the benefit of the doubt!

You've got bawls to post about something so personal up in here, I give you that. You sure do have to sift through the replies to get anything worth listening to though.

My advice would be to get engaged and enable her to put the spectre of guilt behind her so you can screw like bunnies. If you can't wait, see if she'll be into mutual oral pleasure or something. There are many ways to "get off" without actually breaking the seal if you know what I mean. Good luck...

Allow me to insert the first likely ATOT response:

"Aw noes d00d, you need da p00n don't settle for nething less bro! Get yo's homie! Drop that damaged baggage, w000t! " lame.

 

[lavaheadache]

Best of luck to you. I have nothing to new to offer, I think counseling is a good idea

 

[DivideBYZero]

Originally posted by: Aimster
Stop dating the following:

1) Arab girls
2) Indian girls
3) Afghan girls
4) Chinese girls
5) Korean girls
6) ?

BEHIND THEIR FATHER'S BACK. Be a man and just go ask for permission. She'll bang you all night when she knows her father knows it.

That is all.

OP: Hi. I wanted to ask you something.
DAD: OK.
OP: It's about your daughter...
DAD: Go on...
OP: I really want to pork her and not make her cry. Will you give consent for us to slam in the lamb?
DAD: *gunshot*
OP:....

 

[Gurck]

Originally posted by: meltdown75

Originally posted by: Stark
she sounds like a high quality girl. postpone the nookie for a few months and you'll get to hit it for the rest of your life.

I second this notion. So what if she's having a little struggle with her guilt - all it proves is that she was raised to hold certain morals & values high. Too many of the punks in here have no idea what this is about apparently.

She gets horned up when you two are "together", therefore I cannot suggest that she is "broken" or "damaged" (that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard btw and I've seen it like a zillion times in this thread, wow). Obviously she's sexually functional - let's leave it at that and give her the benefit of the doubt!

You've got bawls to post about something so personal up in here, I give you that. You sure do have to sift through the replies to get anything worth listening to though.

My advice would be to get engaged and enable her to put the spectre of guilt behind her so you can screw like bunnies. If you can't wait, see if she'll be into mutual oral pleasure or something. There are many ways to "get off" without actually breaking the seal if you know what I mean. Good luck...

Allow me to insert the first likely ATOT response:

"Aw noes d00d, you need da p00n don't settle for nething less bro! Get yo's homie! Drop that damaged baggage, w000t! " lame.

Disagree, if it's this bad at 25, imagine how it'll be at 35.. 45.. etc. when the 'call of the wild' isn't as strong and she no longer sees it as necessary to build & maintain the relationship... all signs point toward her becoming one of "those" women who sits around eating bonbons and making godawful kitchen decorations as per Christopher Lowell's instructions and who would sooner jump off a cliff than have sex. Stereotype me all you want m75, but I think sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. OP seems relatively normal, I see no reason he should bog himself down with a prime therapy candidate.

Best of luck

 

[MrPickins]

All the people whe say "Ditch her and move on" have obviously never had a real connection with another person.

You don't ditch someone you love. You help them overcome their issues so you both live happy lives.

I swear so many people in this forum just worry about getting their little dicks wet.

 

[Gurck]

Originally posted by: MrPickins
All the people whe say "Ditch her and move on" have obviously never had a real connection with another person.

You don't ditch someone you love. You help them overcome their issues so you both live happy lives.

I swear so many people in this forum just worry about getting their little dicks wet.

Or their chances at future happiness. How immature.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: Gurck

Originally posted by: MrPickins
All the people whe say "Ditch her and move on" have obviously never had a real connection with another person.

You don't ditch someone you love. You help them overcome their issues so you both live happy lives.

I swear so many people in this forum just worry about getting their little dicks wet.

Or their chances at future happiness. How immature.

Actually it is maturity speaking when we realize that this relationship has no future. No matter how much you love somebody you can't fix what is broken with them.

 

[ITJunkie]

Originally posted by: Doboji
She's Jewish... but yeah her family is very traditional...

That sounds like the issue. She is having trouble reconciling her traditional beliefs with how she feels about sex...maybe(?)

Do you talk about sex openly together?