YAGT: Sex problems

[Doboji]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: Gurck

Originally posted by: MrPickins
All the people whe say "Ditch her and move on" have obviously never had a real connection with another person.

You don't ditch someone you love. You help them overcome their issues so you both live happy lives.

I swear so many people in this forum just worry about getting their little dicks wet.

Or their chances at future happiness. How immature.

Actually it is maturity speaking when we realize that this relationship has no future. No matter how much you love somebody you can't fix what is broken with them.

Then based on what your saying... she has no chance of EVER being happy or being in a fulfilling relationship? I don't understand your logic....

Once broken unfixable? I think we all have things that are broken, and you find them once you dig deep enough. Maybe noone deserves to be happy... maybe we should all be single and shtoop everything thats willing for the rest of our lives?

I just can't see how you give up on someone you love that easily.

-Max

 

[Gurck]

Do what you want. When the headache monster comes knocking though ... every single day ... don't say you weren't warned.

 

[MrPickins]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: Gurck

Originally posted by: MrPickins
All the people whe say "Ditch her and move on" have obviously never had a real connection with another person.

You don't ditch someone you love. You help them overcome their issues so you both live happy lives.

I swear so many people in this forum just worry about getting their little dicks wet.

Or their chances at future happiness. How immature.

Actually it is maturity speaking when we realize that this relationship has no future. No matter how much you love somebody you can't fix what is broken with them.

You can't always fix them, but you can support them in overcoming their problems. So what you're saying is that any woman that has issuses automatically is doomed to the lonely life of a spinster? Are you not willing to compromise some of your happiness so that the person you love can work towards solving their problems?

That doesn't sound like maturity, it sounds like selfishness. You obviously have never met a person you truley loved.

Without knowing what the actual problem is in this situation, how can you declare her to be "Unfixable" and "Damaged Goods"? How can you say the relationship is "doomed"?

Nobody is perfect. Not even you. Life is about helping the ones you love, not ditching them.

Edit for the OP: Don't get engaged yet. Help her get counseling first.

 

[Dr. Detroit]

Perhaps the OP needs to pick up a book about sexual dysfunctions.......

Perhaps the OP needs to speak to a counselor about his GF..........

Answer the questions below and think about what needs to be done to look at this relationship objectively.....

To the OP:
Do you think this is a religious issue?

Do you think this is normal behavior?

Do you think shes actually going to get over this?

Beg off her ex-boyfriends phone number and have a talk with the boy?


Yeah, your in love, shes a great gal, you care deeply for her. But she don't give a rats ass about you or herself for that matter as she has chosen to sabotage her relationships by being dysfunctional sexually and ruining the relationship.

You cant force people to change, if they don;t want to change there is nothing you can do. Have you realized this in your life?

People don't change unless they want to change, obvisouly this chick don't want to change as she knows there is a problem and refuses to address the issue.

 

[Gurck]

Originally posted by: MrPickins

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: Gurck

Originally posted by: MrPickins
All the people whe say "Ditch her and move on" have obviously never had a real connection with another person.

You don't ditch someone you love. You help them overcome their issues so you both live happy lives.

I swear so many people in this forum just worry about getting their little dicks wet.

Or their chances at future happiness. How immature.

Actually it is maturity speaking when we realize that this relationship has no future. No matter how much you love somebody you can't fix what is broken with them.

You can't always fix them, but you can support them in overcoming their problems. So what you're saying is that any woman that has issuses automatically is doomed to the lonely life of a spinster? Are you not willing to compromise some of your happiness so that the person you love can work towards solving their problems?

That doesn't sound like maturity, it sounds like selfishness. You obviously have never met a person you truley loved.

Without knowing what the actual problem is in this situation, how can you declare her to be "Unfixable" and "Damaged Goods"? How can you say the relationship is "doomed"?

Nobody is perfect. Not even you. Life is about helping the ones you love, not ditching them.

This from someone who's probably all of 20? :laugh: Most people go into the deepest relationship of all - marriage - feeling this way. Know what the divorce rate is?

 

[MrPickins]

Originally posted by: Gurck

Originally posted by: MrPickins

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: Gurck

Originally posted by: MrPickins
All the people whe say "Ditch her and move on" have obviously never had a real connection with another person.

You don't ditch someone you love. You help them overcome their issues so you both live happy lives.

I swear so many people in this forum just worry about getting their little dicks wet.

Or their chances at future happiness. How immature.

Actually it is maturity speaking when we realize that this relationship has no future. No matter how much you love somebody you can't fix what is broken with them.

You can't always fix them, but you can support them in overcoming their problems. So what you're saying is that any woman that has issuses automatically is doomed to the lonely life of a spinster? Are you not willing to compromise some of your happiness so that the person you love can work towards solving their problems?

That doesn't sound like maturity, it sounds like selfishness. You obviously have never met a person you truley loved.

Without knowing what the actual problem is in this situation, how can you declare her to be "Unfixable" and "Damaged Goods"? How can you say the relationship is "doomed"?

Nobody is perfect. Not even you. Life is about helping the ones you love, not ditching them.

This from someone who's probably all of 20? :laugh: Most people go into the deepest relationship of all - marriage - feeling this way. Know what the divorce rate is?

GG a$$wipe, I'm happily married to a woman that I've known and loved since we were 13.

 

[Gurck]

Originally posted by: MrPickins
GG a$$wipe, I'm happily married to a woman I've known and loved since we were 13.

*looks at profile* I see...

 

[Doboji]

Perhaps the OP needs to pick up a book about sexual dysfunctions.......

Good advice... I will look into this when I get out of work today.

Perhaps the OP needs to speak to a counselor about his GF..........

Hmm I suppose I could do that... might give a starting point...

Answer the questions below and think about what needs to be done to look at this relationship objectively.....

To the OP:
Do you think this is a religious issue?

Sorta... I think it's a family issue... her family has very traditional values regarding sex and marriage... Her younger brother is a virgin at 18... her sister is a virgin at 23... and her older brother was a virgin until he got married....

Do you think this is normal behavior?

No I dont... I believe that sex is a normal part of a loving relationship.

Do you think shes actually going to get over this?

I honestly don't know.

Beg off her ex-boyfriends phone number and have a talk with the boy?

I'd rather not... he was an asshole who treated her like sh!t... I'd be more likely to kill him than have a good talk with him.

Yeah, your in love, shes a great gal, you care deeply for her. But she don't give a rats ass about you or herself for that matter as she has chosen to sabotage her relationships by being dysfunctional sexually and ruining the relationship.

You cant force people to change, if they don;t want to change there is nothing you can do. Have you realized this in your life?

People don't change unless they want to change, obvisouly this chick don't want to change as she knows there is a problem and refuses to address the issue.

I think she's torn as to whether or not A. She has a problem or B. she's being bad by not sticking by her morals more.

-Max

 

[MrPickins]

Originally posted by: Gurck

Originally posted by: MrPickins
GG a$$wipe, I'm happily married to a woman I've known and loved since we were 13.

*looks at profile* I see...

Are you that jaded?

Pic from my wedding.

My friends call me Slim Pickins because i'm built like a beanstalk.

Are we done with the thread hijack yet?

 

[meltdown75]

Originally posted by: Gurck

Originally posted by: meltdown75

Originally posted by: Stark
she sounds like a high quality girl. postpone the nookie for a few months and you'll get to hit it for the rest of your life.

I second this notion. So what if she's having a little struggle with her guilt - all it proves is that she was raised to hold certain morals & values high. Too many of the punks in here have no idea what this is about apparently.

She gets horned up when you two are "together", therefore I cannot suggest that she is "broken" or "damaged" (that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard btw and I've seen it like a zillion times in this thread, wow). Obviously she's sexually functional - let's leave it at that and give her the benefit of the doubt!

You've got bawls to post about something so personal up in here, I give you that. You sure do have to sift through the replies to get anything worth listening to though.

My advice would be to get engaged and enable her to put the spectre of guilt behind her so you can screw like bunnies. If you can't wait, see if she'll be into mutual oral pleasure or something. There are many ways to "get off" without actually breaking the seal if you know what I mean. Good luck...

Allow me to insert the first likely ATOT response:

"Aw noes d00d, you need da p00n don't settle for nething less bro! Get yo's homie! Drop that damaged baggage, w000t! " lame.

Disagree, if it's this bad at 25, imagine how it'll be at 35.. 45.. etc. when the 'call of the wild' isn't as strong and she no longer sees it as necessary to build & maintain the relationship... all signs point toward her becoming one of "those" women who sits around eating bonbons and making godawful kitchen decorations as per Christopher Lowell's instructions and who would sooner jump off a cliff than have sex. Stereotype me all you want m75, but I think sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. OP seems relatively normal, I see no reason he should bog himself down with a prime therapy candidate.

Best of luck

Oh no doubt - sex est tres importante - probably moreso for me than the average guy ... my point was simply that it seems just as easy for the majority of responders to cast away "love" as it is to throw out a soiled contraceptive... real women aren't like blow up dolls, you can't just discard them and move on to the next. If you can, well, more power to you but you're probably lacking in the effort department and could be missing out on something really great.

imho it didn't sound too "bad" per se. More than anything, I think it solidified OP's SO as a classy girl - a keeper if you will.

 

[SearchMaster]

Originally posted by: Hi
either her pussy needs to get smaller or your dick needs to get bigger

Heh - you obviously haven't seen a picture of the two of them.

 

[Gurck]

Originally posted by: MrPickins

Originally posted by: Gurck

Originally posted by: MrPickins
GG a$$wipe, I'm happily married to a woman I've known and loved since we were 13.

*looks at profile* I see...

Are you that jaded?

Pic from my wedding.

My friends call me Slim Pickins because i'm built like a beanstalk.

Are we done with the thread hijack yet?

I never said you weren't married... Where is all this coming from?

At any rate, not all of us have the ah.. privelage.. of marrying in middle school :Q Call it selfish, I know you will - but being choosy about our future happiness is the only sensible option. Not all of us think this is merely a precursor to an idealistic afterlife... I say make the most of it.

 

[MrPickins]

Originally posted by: Gurck

Originally posted by: MrPickins

Originally posted by: Gurck

Originally posted by: MrPickins
GG a$$wipe, I'm happily married to a woman I've known and loved since we were 13.

*looks at profile* I see...

Are you that jaded?

Pic from my wedding.

My friends call me Slim Pickins because i'm built like a beanstalk.

Are we done with the thread hijack yet?

I never said you weren't married... Where is all this coming from?

At any rate, not all of us have the ah.. privelage.. of marrying in middle school :Q Call it selfish, I know you will - but being choosy about our future happiness is the only sensible option. Not all of us think this is merely a precursor to an idealistic afterlife... I say make the most of it.

What exactly are did you mean by "I see" then? What does my profile have to do with anything?

And by no means was i married in middle school. I met my wife when we were in 7th grade, but we never even dated till we were in our 20's.

My point stands. If you reject any woman with a few issues, you are selfish. And will probably end up alone, enless you magically find that one person with no emotional baggage.

 

[Gulzakar]

what shes doing is like ordering a Big Mac Meal, Large Sized, with a DIET coke...

IT DON'T MAKE NO SENSE! (Damn Nessy!)

 

[Gurck]

Ok sorry, I misunderstood - I thought you were saying you got married at age 13 I'm not saying nitpicking and expecting perfection is a good idea, but the problem is that the baggage in this case has to do with a cornerstone of a healthy relationship.

 

[MrPickins]

Originally posted by: Gurck
Ok sorry, I misunderstood - I thought you were saying you got married at age 13 I'm not saying nitpicking and expecting perfection is a good idea, but the problem is that the baggage in this case has to do with a cornerstone of a healthy relationship.

:beer:

Edit for antineffness:

I agree sex is a big issue in a relationship.
If it's a moral/religious issue, as is seeming more likely as I hear the story, the couple needs to talk to each other and decide what they feel to be the appropriate boundaries.

If (god forbid) it's a situation of abuse, definite counseling is needed, but it is possible to overcome that type of thing.

 

[maziwanka]

Originally posted by: Gurck
Do what you want. When the headache monster comes knocking though ... every single day ... don't say you weren't warned.

jesus. i cant even imagine this

 

[mehmel]

Two Options:
1. Her Daddy (Or Uncle) Touched Her
2. She Cheated on you and feels bad about it (Can't believe no one said this yet)
Taking it to the next level with not fix anything, just make it worse. Good luck my friend.

 

[GrumpyMan]

That's the problem with today's society and why the divorce rate is so high. Everyone can be disposed of like a tampon. I don't know of anyone who doesn't have some kind of issue of some sort. Give the chick a break and help her through it. If it is a deep seeded fear of sex then she does need some counseling. Go with her. Don't listen to the children of ATOT who's biggest relationship is with their hand.

 

[Aimster]

Originally posted by: mehmel
Two Options:
1. Her Daddy (Or Uncle) Touched Her
2. She Cheated on you and feels bad about it (Can't believe no one said this yet)
Taking it to the next level with not fix anything, just make it worse. Good luck my friend.

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

She wouldn't be the first person to be conflicted about sex. Raised being told one thing, lives in a world and has a body that says do another thing.

Its her issue ultimately and she will have to resolve it. I recommend you bring up the topic in a constructive way; suggest couples counseling so that you can voice your concerns that you must be having (i.e., is she going to be like this after marriage?).

And yeah, she may have some sexual abuse that might be triggering some of the feelings. However, I wouldn't assume that nor would I assume she has cheated on the OP.

 

[Stark]

Originally posted by: mehmel
Two Options:
1. Her Daddy (Or Uncle) Touched Her
2. She Cheated on you and feels bad about it (Can't believe no one said this yet)
Taking it to the next level with not fix anything, just make it worse. Good luck my friend.

or

3. she has morals and wants to live by them.

That's pathetic... "what, she won't put out? That must mean she was either molested or cheated on you"

atot logic at its finest.

 

[Gurck]

Originally posted by: Stark

Originally posted by: mehmel
Two Options:
1. Her Daddy (Or Uncle) Touched Her
2. She Cheated on you and feels bad about it (Can't believe no one said this yet)
Taking it to the next level with not fix anything, just make it worse. Good luck my friend.

or

3. she has morals and wants to live by them.

That's pathetic... "what, she won't put out? That must mean she was either molested or cheated on you"

atot logic at its finest.

I wouldn't call that morals. Keep in mind, not everyone's religion stigmatizes sex...

 

[NyteCrawler]

just hold out, its only a couple of months

 

[hdeck]

turn her down a few times, then if she keeps with the pressure just go with it again.