Zero Punctuation Review of Crysis

[jdoggg12]

http://www.escapistmagazine.co...ero-Punctuation-Crysis

Why I rarely agree with this douchebags reviews of just about any game, i still think he's pretty funny.

 

[ayabe]

PRetty funny review.

I don't agree with the conclusion however.

Crysis is the worst FPS I've played in many years.

The suit is a such a crappy gimmick it's not even funny, two of the four functions have basically no utility whatsoever -strength and speed. Yes grabbing a guy by his throat and tossing him 20 feet was fun the first couple times but after that it became really stale, really fast. Or you can jump on top of a tin shack, wow.

Doing the shoot, stealth, shoot routine is bland as well, there is no way you should be able to take out 20+ guys like this hiding behind the same rock.

When I'm playing a game, I don't have the time to invent my own fun, which is basically what this game is asking you to do. If you enjoy finding the most creative way to end baddies then I guess you might enjoy this open ended, pointless sand-boxing.

I am just past the Koreans and doubt I will fire it up again as I have no desire to waste another minute of my life on this game, especially knowing it only gets worse from here on out.

 

[jdoggg12]

Strength is, IMO, not meant for throwing guys - its made to negate recoil. I'm a sniper for the most part and it's SO much easier with the strength function on.

Speed is best for 2 things... getting across large sections of open land quickly, and fleeing a scene if you're overwhelmed. I use it most, folled by stealth then strength then shields.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: ayabe

Crysis is the worst FPS I've played in many years.

The suit is a such a crappy gimmick it's not even funny, two of the four functions have basically no utility whatsoever -strength and speed. Yes grabbing a guy by his throat and tossing him 20 feet was fun the first couple times but after that it became really stale, really fast. Or you can jump on top of a tin shack, wow.

Doing the shoot, stealth, shoot routine is bland as well, there is no way you should be able to take out 20+ guys like this hiding behind the same rock.

When I'm playing a game, I don't have the time to invent my own fun, which is basically what this game is asking you to do. If you enjoy finding the most creative way to end baddies then I guess you might enjoy this open ended, pointless sand-boxing.

I am just past the Koreans and doubt I will fire it up again as I have no desire to waste another minute of my life on this game, especially knowing it only gets worse from here on out.

Pretty much feel the same exact way.

interested to hear what yahtzee has to say though. his reviews are always funny.

 

[AnonymouseUser]

Originally posted by: ayabe
pretty funny review I dont agree with the conclusion however crysis is the worst fps Ive played in many years the suit is a such a crappy gimmick its not even funny two of the four functions have basically no utility whatsoever strength and speed yes grabbing a guy by his throat and tossing him 20 feet was fun the first couple times but after that it became really stale really fast or you can jump on top of a tin shack wow doing the shoot stealth shoot routine is bland as well there is no way you should be able to take out 20 guys like this hiding behind the same rock when Im playing a game I dont have the time to invent my own fun which is basically what this game is asking you to do if you enjoy finding the most creative way to end baddies then I guess you might enjoy this open ended pointless sand boxing I am just past the koreans and doubt I will fire it up again as I have no desire to waste another minute of my life on this game especially knowing it only gets worse from here on out

ahh much better

 

[Fenixgoon]

i got crysis today, will let you know what i think.

C2D E4300 @ 1.8ghz
2gigs DDR2-667
X1800XT

 

[Boztech]

Originally posted by: ayabe
PRetty funny review.

I don't agree with the conclusion however.

Crysis is the worst FPS I've played in many years.

The suit is a such a crappy gimmick it's not even funny, two of the four functions have basically no utility whatsoever -strength and speed. Yes grabbing a guy by his throat and tossing him 20 feet was fun the first couple times but after that it became really stale, really fast. Or you can jump on top of a tin shack, wow.

Doing the shoot, stealth, shoot routine is bland as well, there is no way you should be able to take out 20+ guys like this hiding behind the same rock.

When I'm playing a game, I don't have the time to invent my own fun, which is basically what this game is asking you to do. If you enjoy finding the most creative way to end baddies then I guess you might enjoy this open ended, pointless sand-boxing.

I am just past the Koreans and doubt I will fire it up again as I have no desire to waste another minute of my life on this game, especially knowing it only gets worse from here on out.

Wow, I couldn't disagree more. When I play other FPS games in SP campaign, I always miss the nanosuit.

..and Crysis is the only SP campaign I keep going back to because I can invent my own fun. Going back and playing COD4, Bioshock, even HL2:E2 is the same every time.

 

[EvilComputer92]

Originally posted by: Boztech

Wow, I couldn't disagree more. When I play other FPS games in SP campaign, I always miss the nanosuit.

..and Crysis is the only SP campaign I keep going back to because I can invent my own fun. Going back and playing COD4, Bioshock, even HL2:E2 is the same every time.

Agreed. I'm on my second playthrough and have discovered many new paths through the levels that I didn't take before.

 

[ayabe]

Originally posted by: AnonymouseUser

Originally posted by: ayabe
pretty funny review I dont agree with the conclusion however crysis is the worst fps Ive played in many years the suit is a such a crappy gimmick its not even funny two of the four functions have basically no utility whatsoever strength and speed yes grabbing a guy by his throat and tossing him 20 feet was fun the first couple times but after that it became really stale really fast or you can jump on top of a tin shack wow doing the shoot stealth shoot routine is bland as well there is no way you should be able to take out 20 guys like this hiding behind the same rock when Im playing a game I dont have the time to invent my own fun which is basically what this game is asking you to do if you enjoy finding the most creative way to end baddies then I guess you might enjoy this open ended pointless sand boxing I am just past the koreans and doubt I will fire it up again as I have no desire to waste another minute of my life on this game especially knowing it only gets worse from here on out

ahh much better

Sorry had to share. I've refrained from commenting on this game because I hadn't played it until now. But my already low expectations weren't low enough apparently.

There have been very few occasions where I could say that I genuinely hated a game, this is one of those times.

 

[EvilComputer92]

Originally posted by: ayabe

Originally posted by: AnonymouseUser

Originally posted by: ayabe
pretty funny review I dont agree with the conclusion however crysis is the worst fps Ive played in many years the suit is a such a crappy gimmick its not even funny two of the four functions have basically no utility whatsoever strength and speed yes grabbing a guy by his throat and tossing him 20 feet was fun the first couple times but after that it became really stale really fast or you can jump on top of a tin shack wow doing the shoot stealth shoot routine is bland as well there is no way you should be able to take out 20 guys like this hiding behind the same rock when Im playing a game I dont have the time to invent my own fun which is basically what this game is asking you to do if you enjoy finding the most creative way to end baddies then I guess you might enjoy this open ended pointless sand boxing I am just past the koreans and doubt I will fire it up again as I have no desire to waste another minute of my life on this game especially knowing it only gets worse from here on out

ahh much better

Sorry had to share. I've refrained from commenting on this game because I hadn't played it until now. But my already low expectations weren't low enough apparently.

There have been very few occasions where I could say that I genuinely hated a game, this is one of those times.

I suppose you enjoyed the extremely linear COD4 and HL2: Ep2?

 

[jdoggg12]

There is NOTHING that could make everyone like it. There are people that hate mother theresa...

 

[TechBoyJK]

Originally posted by: ayabe

Originally posted by: AnonymouseUser

Originally posted by: ayabe
pretty funny review I dont agree with the conclusion however crysis is the worst fps Ive played in many years the suit is a such a crappy gimmick its not even funny two of the four functions have basically no utility whatsoever strength and speed yes grabbing a guy by his throat and tossing him 20 feet was fun the first couple times but after that it became really stale really fast or you can jump on top of a tin shack wow doing the shoot stealth shoot routine is bland as well there is no way you should be able to take out 20 guys like this hiding behind the same rock when Im playing a game I dont have the time to invent my own fun which is basically what this game is asking you to do if you enjoy finding the most creative way to end baddies then I guess you might enjoy this open ended pointless sand boxing I am just past the koreans and doubt I will fire it up again as I have no desire to waste another minute of my life on this game especially knowing it only gets worse from here on out

ahh much better

Sorry had to share. I've refrained from commenting on this game because I hadn't played it until now. But my already low expectations weren't low enough apparently.

There have been very few occasions where I could say that I genuinely hated a game, this is one of those times.

you must have a crappy computer, put the difficult on low, had problems with the install, etc...

the game, especially leading up to the mountain, is epic.

however, I have more fun messing with the level editor than I do playing the game.

 

[ITPaladin]

I used strength to think 'out of the box' and bypass the checkpoint near the beginning. I then took out the hill guys and sent the barrel rolling down below to take out one of the guys below.
Linear thinkers would just toss grenades or try to sneak (tried once, got shot to hell on Delta when they saw me) through.

 

[DangerAardvark]

He always has great music in his reviews. Turned me on to Scissors Sisters.

 

[Polish3d]

Originally posted by: ayabe
PRetty funny review.

I don't agree with the conclusion however.

Crysis is the worst FPS I've played in many years.

The suit is a such a crappy gimmick it's not even funny, two of the four functions have basically no utility whatsoever -strength and speed. Yes grabbing a guy by his throat and tossing him 20 feet was fun the first couple times but after that it became really stale, really fast. Or you can jump on top of a tin shack, wow.

Doing the shoot, stealth, shoot routine is bland as well, there is no way you should be able to take out 20+ guys like this hiding behind the same rock.

When I'm playing a game, I don't have the time to invent my own fun, which is basically what this game is asking you to do. If you enjoy finding the most creative way to end baddies then I guess you might enjoy this open ended, pointless sand-boxing.

I am just past the Koreans and doubt I will fire it up again as I have no desire to waste another minute of my life on this game, especially knowing it only gets worse from here on out.

Weird, it's one of the best I've played ever

 

[apoppin]

Originally posted by: jdoggg12
There is NOTHING that could make everyone like it. There are people that hate mother theresa...

yeah ... probably the boys in her class that got the regular ruler whippings.
:Q




Crysis is no Mother Theresa



[it's a video game]

 

[DangerAardvark]

The people who hate Mother Teresa are the people who actually know something about her. She has great PR.

 

[TheVrolok]

Originally posted by: jdoggg12
http://www.escapistmagazine.co...ero-Punctuation-Crysis

Why I rarely agree with this douchebags reviews of just about any game, i still think he's pretty funny.

I love all his reviews and usually find them to be pretty much spot on. I'll have to check it out later.

 

[xSkyDrAx]

The best thing strength is used for is killing those nano suit soldiers. 2 punches and they're out.

 

[Daverino]

Dance Commander! :thumbsup:

 

[shortylickens]

A bit silly and sometimes harsh but he was dead on.
Crysis feels like a less playable but much prettier version of Far Cry.

I liked the demo, but wont buy the real game until 8800GTX's are dirt cheap or the 9000 series has an inexpensive mid-range card that can play it well.

EDIT:
The reviewer and some people here did point out that the super abilities can open up new strategies when trying to clear a map.
I think they were trying to make it a little like Deus Ex where speed and stealth can often be used to complete areas. The problem is it doesnt work nearly as well as Deus Ex.

 

[TheVrolok]

Just now watched it, thought that, as usual, he was right on. Love this guy.

 

[ayabe]

Originally posted by: TechBoyJK

Originally posted by: ayabe

Originally posted by: AnonymouseUser

Originally posted by: ayabe
pretty funny review I dont agree with the conclusion however crysis is the worst fps Ive played in many years the suit is a such a crappy gimmick its not even funny two of the four functions have basically no utility whatsoever strength and speed yes grabbing a guy by his throat and tossing him 20 feet was fun the first couple times but after that it became really stale really fast or you can jump on top of a tin shack wow doing the shoot stealth shoot routine is bland as well there is no way you should be able to take out 20 guys like this hiding behind the same rock when Im playing a game I dont have the time to invent my own fun which is basically what this game is asking you to do if you enjoy finding the most creative way to end baddies then I guess you might enjoy this open ended pointless sand boxing I am just past the koreans and doubt I will fire it up again as I have no desire to waste another minute of my life on this game especially knowing it only gets worse from here on out

ahh much better

Sorry had to share. I've refrained from commenting on this game because I hadn't played it until now. But my already low expectations weren't low enough apparently.

There have been very few occasions where I could say that I genuinely hated a game, this is one of those times.

you must have a crappy computer, put the difficult on low, had problems with the install, etc...

the game, especially leading up to the mountain, is epic.

however, I have more fun messing with the level editor than I do playing the game.

Wrong on all fronts, but thanks for assuming. There isn't a single thing about this game that's epic.

 

[skace]

Originally posted by: ayabe
Wrong on all fronts, but thanks for assuming. There isn't a single thing about this game that's epic.

We're all allowed to have our own opinions, yours just makes you come across as insane, that's all.

 

[Anubis]

Originally posted by: ayabe
. There isn't a single thing about this game that's epic.

yes there is,

EPIC FAIL!